stalking simplicity in suburbia

Planning for the new month

2012-01-29T08:51:00.000-08:00

I have decided that February will be themed 'Finish It February'. I am going to try to finish one project for each day. Some of these projects will be parts of other projects (for example, I cannot finish my entire kitchen in one day, but I can complete individual steps, such as recovering the counter, repositioning cabinets, or installing the backsplash, in one day). 29 projects should get me pretty far in completing the many, many unfinished projects I have here, and help in clearing out a lot of clutter, as unfinished work has a lot of associated clutter. So for this month, of which I have 3 days (counting today) my goal is to get the house CLEAN. That way I can really focus on working/crafting, without feeling guilty, overwhelmed, or blocked by the mess. It should work. Even if I get sick again I have plenty of handwork that needs finishing, so I am ready to go! One of my projects will be choosing a theme for March. Maybe Make It March (so I can participate in Me Made May, where I wear only items I have made/altered?). Now I need to get to work, the dishes, and laundry, and floors, and toys, are screaming for attention. Cacophonous!

-happily, nava

Oh, and I have new neighbors, a very nice couple with a 4-month-old boy. We had a great time meeting each other yesterday. Hooray!

"New Age language"

2012-01-21T20:19:00.000-08:00

I hear a lot about not liking hippies, how they are all crazy, or elitist, or what-have-you. In theory, I disagree; I see myself as a hippie, as one of those weird people. However, I have had many attempted conversations with people who have that energy and yet I develop a rapid dislike for them during the conversation. I figured out that it's the phrases they use, and more than that, the phrases they don't use. See, I get the whole naming your experience on your own terms, that's great, that's getting the idea out there, that's beginning to connect it to language. However, often the next step isn't taken, the step where you attempt to connect what you are trying to convey to what the other person will understand. That's the point of speaking, of communicating. I get the impression, in these conversations, that the person does not care about communicating, they just want to talk. That is extremely offensive to me; I feel it is abusive of language, of communication, and of each other. If all you want to do is express yourself to yourself, then don't involve other people. If you really do want to connect and share your experience, share who you are, then use your words, use your phrases, use your made-up linguistic musings, and then translate. As best we can of course; after all, everyone's interpretation of any word is completely unique, so we can only get so far in understanding each other through language. The point is to try.
I also think it would help if we don't respond "yeah, man, I totally feel you" to the person talking. All right, so you feel them. Awesome. Do you understand them? ;) Because maybe, just maybe, they don't just want to be felt; they want to connect.

happily,
-nava

snow

2012-01-16T13:16:00.000-08:00

This was a good week; had a few snafus (like, baking challah in an oven after turning it off, realising after candlelighting that we did not have any wine or grape juice in the house, and Adin getting hold of a bag of chex mix) but overall quiet, productive, and pleasant.
Woke up yesterday to SNOW, then the sun (sun?!) came out and melted it all, then we had more snow, and the sun came out again and melted it, and then hail, at which point I gave up and stopped looking outside. The boys played outside a little bit, before the first snow melt, and had a lot of fun. Both have colds though, so they are stuck indoors for now.
I also joined pinterest and have spent far too much time on the site, but it has actually helped me to get inspired and motivated, so it is useful. I do need to cut down my online time, but with waiting for translation orders to pop up I always have my laptop up and running, and it is just so easy to log in and pin, and pin, and pin...
It just started snowing again, beautiful big flakes like in a movie. Wonderful.

January! Yay!

2012-01-09T20:02:00.000-08:00

This past week was good, very productive. I'm getting my house back in order, slowly, but at least there is measurable progress now, rather than simply struggling to maintain a certain level of chaos. It's a nice change.
I had a Mother's Circle class on Sunday, and Wednesday evening the teacher called to remind me that I was in charge of snacks and to please bring challah and grape juice, since this class' focus was Shabbat. I had already received the ok to bring food from my kitchen, since it is kosher, and I remembered that we had been given a bag of flour in our Thanksgiving Gleaner's box. At the time I was at a loss as to what I was going to do with a bunch of wheat flour, but it was perfect; 13.5 cups of flour, so I fudged the recipe a little and made 3 loaves of challah. They came out beautifully, and everyone loved them. Cam ate one loaf himself, and we have a second one that is waiting to be devoured.
After the class we finally (3 weeks late) took the boys to the Children's Museum. Adin is cutting molars and so was strangely shy and clingy, but they both had a great time. They basically just played in the dig pit for a couple hours, and then a quick look through the Lego exhibit. It was crowded, and while it was not as crowded as I expected, it was still a little overwhelming for the guys so they were ready to leave when we were.
In other news, the replacement screen for my pixi finally arrived, except it isn't a replacement screen. It's a screen protector. I have been trying to fix this phone since August, and I am fed up. Thing is, I just don't have $100 to spend on a replacement. In a couple months I'm eligible for an upgrade anyway, so at this point I kind of don't see a reason to keep trying, except that I really like my phone and I have no idea how many texts and voicemails are on the thing.
In other other news, my job is going very well, I've had great reviews from customers and, aside from their being almost no work since the year began, it's been a really challenging and fun job so far.
In baby news, 12 weeks now! Only 6 months to go. Kiddo is the size of a fingerling potato. All my lab tests came back great, no signs of any sort of illness or deficiency, and baby had a STRONG heartbeat at my last checkup (10 weeks). Things are looking good! This is awesome!

happily, -nava

Plans plans plans

2012-01-01T16:30:00.000-08:00

Woke up to the sun shining; while I love the rain, it was a good start to the year to have such a gorgeous day. Spent the day cleaning, fighting off nausea after taking all my vitamins at once, and drawing up a list of things I want to accomplish in 2012. I want to get to 18; so far I have 12. One thing on the list is to post once a week, so even if I don't keep up with my journaling I'll have some sort of outlet and record going. I'll post the list next week, so I already have a post planned. Yay! Another goal is to get OUT once a week, even if it is just to the library, but I do want to take the boys exploring the parks and museums and events around here. There were so many things I wanted to do last year, so this year I need to make it happen. Now I'm going to finish getting cleaned up and organised for tomorrow, when I will be starting up our learning activities again. I was planning to start today, but a clean slate is a much better goal for the first of the year. I think. :)

happily,
-nava

Let's recap!

2011-12-31T23:03:00.000-08:00

2011! I did big things!
1) Moved to Oregon! Yes! That went very well. Technically that was the end of December, but I am counting it as 2011 because we were in limbo for a while.
2) Bought a house! That went...ok. It was ok. Moving on.
3) Made New Friends! Pretty awesome. Also, all of these friends are older than me, which hasn't been the case since about 6 years in to community college. I have people who give me advice, and also just like to chat. What a wonderful new experience!
4) Learned a whole lot about government aid programs. Yay! Seriously, yay. Not only have we benefited, but I have learned a lot about the actual people who need and use these programs, who has access, who needs access, just how hard it is to abuse the system, and just how much reform is needed.
5) Went to the Hazon Food Conference for the first time ever and it was amazing. I want to go again next year, but I may have put a little crimp into that plan (#8)
6) Completed the training stage for becoming foster parents. Woohoooooo!
7) Got a JOB. Actually, my aunt got me a job, and it is wonderful and I love it. I am still very nervous, and have made a couple mistakes, but altogether I love being a translator/reviewer. Very fun.
8) Decided to and then became pregnant. #3 and final, and I have gone through some major emotional ups and downs this time around, but I am very excited and hopeful and really looking forward to next summer. Which is why I may not be able to attend Hazon. It's ok! I'll be a little busy!

Signing off until next year,
-nava

ETA: I will not be going to Connecticut. In the winter. With a baby. I'll wait until the conference is back in Davis again :)

crawling back into life

2011-12-12T13:38:00.000-08:00

I have been laid low for 2 months with a rather severe case of nausea and exhaustion. All because I went and decided that we would have one more try at having a baby. While I am excited (and nervous) I did not expect that after 2 extremely easy pregnancies (my only symptoms were a couple mood swings and getting a big belly, and the baby at the end) that this last time I would get hit with a 'normal' pregnancy. I suspect I am vitamin deficient and so I've been doubling up on prenatals, but ugh, and yuck, and whine. From onset I have felt sick, and every time I had someone say 'I'm surprised you knew so early!' I told them it was either pregnancy or I needed to be hospitalised, because I never, ever, ever, ever feel this way. Well, the nausea is starting to abate, unfortunately I am forced to avoid any dairy or wheat (or plan to spend a day cooling my face on the bathroom floor), but I am not supposed to eat these things anyhow so I guess this baby is just whipping me into shape (it's due to be a Leo, so makes sense that it is already being bossy ;) ).

My father-in-law has been visiting for a week, he heads back home tomorrow, and it's been wonderful, not only because he gets to spend time with the boys but he's been taking the boys out with him on walks, which gives me time for napping :) I really hope that all the stories of this passing with the first trimester will hold true for me, because I would really like to cook food in my own home again soon. Also, being mildly productive again would be awesome. I'm sure my mom will laugh; she called me a sucker for having another baby after my first was SUCH a good baby, and now I get a 'typical' pregnancy after my two easy ones. I just hope that labor doesn't follow this pattern too! Yeesh!

happily,
-nava

old habits have to be formed first

2011-11-09T18:56:00.000-08:00

So I strained my shoulder or pinched a nerve or SOMETHING and I just realised I've been dealing with this since September and that I really do not handle headaches or really pain in general very well. I have a massage planned on the 17th. Yesterday I went downtown to an herb store (okay, THE herb store) that offers chair massage because I could barely function and the owner looked at me and said "normally, it wouldn't be a problem, but we're booked solid today. Just today." Story of my life. Or rather, story of my ridiculously debilitating muscle issue. However, we then took the boys to the Children's Museum and they had a fantastic time. and then my hips decided they actually belong to a 110-year-old and let me know in no uncertain terms that this 'walking' nonsense was done. Maybe I'll just get used to it. However, it's been over 30 days and I still haven't learned to deal with random stabbing face pain, so maybe not. I am getting a lot of sitting-down activities done, so there's an upside to temporary retirement from bipedalism.

Speaking of the 30-days-makes-a-habit idea, which my mother told me repeatedly, if it holds true I despair of my son ever being fully potty-trained, because he is absolutely fine for a week or so and then, on days like today, with no outside distractions or over-stimulation or breaks to his routine, he pees in every pair of pants he own. I would just put him back in diapers but 1) that's admitting defeat 2) he's 4 and frankly needs to be getting the hang of this already and 3) diapers are not, actually, easier. I know this because I put him back in diapers a few months ago and that was the most disgusting 24-hours of my life.

Now I am heading out for the evening, even if it means I can only drive 20 mph. It's going to be wonderful.

spoilage

2011-09-08T17:44:00.000-07:00

Half the pears went into the compost today; the ones that had been nibbled and rejected by the boys. Overnight they were colonised by fruit flies, and there was nothing we could do but put them in to turn into future dirt.

I don't feel so terrible about it, thankfully; the majority of the pears we gathered would have rotted on the ground, had we not taken them, and the boys gorged themselves on handfuls of them. With a drawer full in the fridge waiting to ripen I can let this one go.

Now I just have to keep track of all the other fresh produce; thankfully we have the bunnies, so if I know something will go before we can get to it at least they get to feast, and I am very glad that we do have a compost bin, so at least I am not throwing any food in the garbage.

Still, that box of pears was slated for saucing today. At least I have a tray of tomatoes out there drying. Speaking of which, I had better go check them.

happily,
-nava

pears

2011-09-07T00:11:00.000-07:00

This weekend we went down to the gleaner's garden, to volunteer, and then had an hour or so between when the gardening shift ended and we could go pick up food, so we took the boys to a nearby park. I noticed that there were pears all over the ground, and at first I though maybe some kids had been snacking, and then that maybe someone dropped an entire bag of them, and then finally found the productive tree at the edge of the play area. The boys and I gathered a small bag of them (about 20 or so), even though they were all quite hard, leaving behind any that were obviously cracked or nibbled on. Then we got to the food distribution and one of the attendants handed me a full paper bag of pears. Now I had two bags of pears staring at me in the kitchen, stuck in that limbo of I don't know what to do with them and I can't eat them all before they go bad. Finally today I looked up my options; I sorted through and put all the unblemished ones in the fridge ( I lined the bin with a paper bag, just in case of spoilage) and put the rest, most of which had nibbles taken thanks to the boys, in a box. Those I am going to either sauce or dehydrate tomorrow, once I look up which is the better method for unripe pears, as these will go bad before they ripen.

We also got a chest freezer this weekend; I had been looking for a while online, all the ones being sold on craigslist were too old or being sold for almost the same price as new, and the free offers were all broken, so I kept putting it off. The choice this weekend became either glut ourselves or let food rot, as the freezer compartment in our refrigerator has been full to capacity for sometime and a large influx of frozen food meant that we took advantage of labor day sales (with added warranty). I am not thrilled about having bought one new; I would rather our food preservation were not electricity dependent, but it is a time for taking what steps I can right now. Eventually I want a smaller refrigerator, and then perhaps not to have one at all, and the freezer can help lessen the reliance on the fridge while increasing our food reserves now, while the produce is coming in, for later, when I can sort through and perhaps preserve some of this another way. That's one reason I am leaning toward drying the pears; the less food at risk of spoilage due to loss of power the better. I do still need to store water; I am going to try to do that this week, although this week is already pretty full.

We have someone coming to do a (free!) inspection and estimate for window replacement; we definitely can't afford it now, but at least we'll have some numbers to work with. The solar power 'inspection' never happened; seems to me that they want a commitment to buy before even coming out, and I will not do that without being given any numbers whatsoever, so we are at an impasse. I will eventually just install something myself, I'm sure, but not soon. In the meantime I am looking at plans for bike power. We have a lot of bikes, so that's done.

The certification process for foster care seems to be moving forward; I heard from 2 references this week that they received and submitted the paperwork for references, so I am trying to get the house ready for inspection, whenever that may be, as we have not heard from or know who our caseworker is yet. I am excited, but a bit nervous right now. Once I get the house done I'm sure I'll feel less worried, but if someone were to show up now, well, we would definitely not pass. Too many projects waiting to be implemented, but we are getting there.

I still have not written about the Hazon conference; I'll do that next, but on the way home another attendee gave me some excellent advice and a weight has been lifted from me. Sometimes you don't realise just how weighed down you are until it has been lifted; a 'lightness of being' has been restored. It's funny, I feel free again, even though I'm in the middle of all this. It's great :)

happily,
-nava

Four!

2011-09-05T16:56:00.001-07:00

We spent Sunday celebrating Asher's birthday; we had a great time. gf waffles for breakfast, then went to the Children's Museum for a few hours, eating gf pb+banana sandwiches (hooray for gf bread from the Gleaners!), then home where he walked in the door to find his 'new' bike (with a big happy birthday balloon on it). Wrapped up the evening when we went grocery shopping and decided to try out yogurt munch, as a very special treat, and it was a big hit with all of us. My camera battery held out just long enough for me to take my annual picture of him, and since I didn't bring along a memory card it's stuck on the camera's internal memory for now :). A great day for all of us, no pressure, and really simple. We are going to go to the coast later this month too; September is turning out to be one great month!

happily, -nava

happy times!

2011-09-02T16:58:00.000-07:00

Asher's birthday is on Sunday, and I am soooooooo excited! #1 : because it's his birthday. He will be 4. That is mindblowing and awesome in itself. #2: after weeks of searching and craigslisting and freecycling and getting stood up by craigslisters and ignored by freecyclers and finally deciding to just buy a bike from the store we actually found him one. On craigslist. So I was able to buy accessories (bike locks! safety pads! new stickers because I scraped off the old gunky ones! stuff for the other bikes!) for a total that was less than buying the cheapest new bike we had found. WIN! #3: I have an awesome day planned for him. Totally awesome. Only 2 more days!

Another happy thing, we are going to spend 5 days at the coast! A pharmacy put out a call for a tech to work a week over there, and offered to pay for travel and housing, and then they agreed to pay for all 4 of us to stay, not just him, so the boys and I are going to have an awesome awesome time while he is at work, and then more awesome time when he is off of work, because! This town is only about 15 minutes across. As in, he can be to or back from work in 15 minutes. None of this 1-4 hour commute nonsense.

Also! He is getting an interview for the brand new store here in town (15 minutes away! ON FOOT!!) next week. He's been calling and calling and calling and talking to people since he first found out they were planning construction, and I think it is going to pay off. I really, really, really, really hope so, because thanks to a restructuring of mass transit his former 1-1.5 hour commute took 4 hours the other day. FOUR. That was not anywhere close to ok. So yes, new store!

I have meanwhile been fixing up a bike, hanging a bathroom cabinet, doing laundry, cleaning the garage, a bunch of other fixer-upper things, and keeping us fed, but still have not managed to find the battery charger for my camera. Which is worrisome, as I need it for both money-making and birthday picture taking, and I am running out of places for it to be. The hunt continues.

happily,
-nava

on the upswing

2011-08-28T19:38:00.000-07:00

Just like that, the weather is cooling down, we're charging off in new directions, and help has arrived from generous family.

We went ahead and sold what was left of our stocks; they've been going up and down for years, but down more than up, and we decided that money would serve us better now than in some hypothetical future when the economy suddenly 'recovers'. I don't think we want the economy to return to what it was, but there you go. Then today my parents offered us a generous amount of money and we can pay our bills, and catch up on the ones that we fell behind with.

I have never fallen behind on a bill, ever, so the fact that this happened is a sign that we were far too busy and need to pay attention. We also have found ways to cut our costs even further, which is awesome, and we will still be able to manage some special treats for Asher's birthday on Sunday. (4th! wow!)

We've joined up with a local gleaning group, which is like a food pantry but we pay a monthly dues ($10) and volunteer at least 3 hours a month. This past week Milt took Asher to their community garden and they had a blast; he's planning to just go each week, and wants me to go too. I'm waffling; I love gardening, but we've got the wild card of Adin to factor in. We'll figure it out though; they are planning to overwinter the garden, and I definitely want to be involved in that.

Our own garden is holding steady; put in some more donated tomatoes, the garlic needs to come up, and the quinoa and tomatilloes are looking good. My one surviving bean plant looks pretty but doesn't seem interested in either growing or setting fruit, so it's just hanging out for now. There is a gorgeous thistle growing next to the box; once I find my battery charger I'll be able to take a picture of it. The queen anne's lace is starting to fade; it was gorgeous, and the volunteer blackberries are fruiting nicely; I am cutting out the canes as I harvest each one; they are a really vicious form of blackberry and need to come out, but the fruit was very nice and didn't need any help from us. I am planning on replacing it with some thornless varieties next year; they grew so well under the pines where nothing else did, so that' some more yard reclaimed for usefulness.

Spent the day just sorting and cleaning and working on projects; put a new seat in the wooden doll stroller/walker/shapes play activity thingy we bought Adin for his birthday, went to the farmer's market and got some produce and a few little baskets of blueberries, took Asher out to see what size bicycle would fit him (16" wheel) and now waiting for a reply from a craigslister with a promising bike. Good day all around. Tomorrow will be even better.

happily,
-nava

stumbling blindly

2011-08-22T13:34:00.000-07:00

It's been an interesting 2 weeks. I don't even know how to get started, or where I'm going with this.

Main thing on my mind is that I don't know what to do, or what I am doing, or should be doing, and not because I lack direction or ideas; i have so much I want to do, right now, and so much I need to do, right now. SO I guess I'll just bullet-list this one. Maybe.

1. We owe money. Nothing new, we are pretty amerikun in that regard. Thing is, we are really really sick of struggling. It sucks. I have been trying to find a job, trying to find some way to make money to help with our bills which don't seem to be getting any better. We cut our power usage, SO much, which is awesome, but we are still paying hospital bills and now owe our awesome new doctor another $500 on top of that, plus credit cards and car and mortgage and blah blah blah so the only consistent income I have found is online surveys. I've made $40, which, yay, that's a credit card bill or somesuch, but not nearly enough. I went and interviewed with an amazing local designer for a seamstress position but she told me today that she hired someone else and my stomach dropped. It's hard to keep being positive, to keep on knowing that everything really will be fine when everything I try to do has not been working. I had a yard sale and made $2. yeah. my etsy shop has only made enough to cover the listing fees, if that. no one seems to want to buy anything I have to sell. We decided to sell our wedding rings, because they were really expensive and they don't match, so we would take a little of the sales money and buy a set from an independent artist that actually matches. Well, so far all I've had is people on ebay offering $450 (for a $2000 ring) and I am almost at the point that I may accept it. That's one medical bill, right there. We need to put in flooring, we need to replace the heater, we need to hire an electrician because our wiring is being weird, we need to pay for gas so the job that at least one of us can keep going to work and make money to pay all these bills. The truly, truly frustrating part in this is that I know I have talents and skills and I work really, really hard, and it doesn't make any difference right now. ugh.

2. My family is worried that I am depressed and my children are in an unhealthy environment. Which is frustrating. Yes, I am frustrated, yes I am struggling with a lot of things right now, but no I am not depressed, and yes I do actually know the difference. Also, no, my house is not a health hazard! holy crap! Talk about making someone feel inadequate though. Wow. Now I get to be paranoid that whatever caseworker we get for foster care feels the same way as the well-intentioned but apparently filth fixated family member who started this. Then what? If my only option in this life is to neglect my family in order to keep my home obsessively clean then I am opting out of this whole thing. We will live in the woods. Thanks. Plus now I wonder if all the times my friends made nice comments about my home they were actually thinking 'Oh My God what a hell-hole!'. Which is fun.

3. There is so much I want to do, and I. can't. even. start. Due to time+money+support. Which is difficult, so I am stepping back on a lot of projects right now. However, there are things I CAN do. I am going to keep going on my etsy shop. I am going to have a garage sale this weekend and try again. I am going to relist my rings, again, at a price that won't leave me feeling robbed. I am going to keep on playing with my kids and cuddling and drawing and enjoying my time with them. I am going to keep cleaning whenever I darn well feel like it, because I like things clean, and not because I am worried about other people's opinions. I am going to leave the explosion of stuff in my living room right where it is and take a nap, because I was blessed to spend the last 4 days at an amazing conference with amazing people and I am incredibly tired and really wound up with IDEAS. So basically, more of the same. but MORE.

happily,
-nava

busy not doing

2011-07-31T22:56:00.000-07:00

These past few weeks have been a magnification of the past few years; that is, feeling like I have so much to do, so little time, so busy always and yet wondering what am I accomplishing? Getting bogged down in the minutae,in the "still have to", in "haven't yet" and even, when I am unable or unwilling to do anything else, in the "could haves" and "could still".

Then a fat,frantic moth throws itself in the window and harasses me until I get it outside again, and I go again. It's a good thing, I have constant distractions from living in my own head. Thought exercises are a good thing, until they bring all action to a standstill.

-I have internet now, a birthday gift from my parents :) I spent the first day just wandering around the internet, and being utterly unproductive. It did get all of that out of the way, so now I can get back to using the net productively.

-My poor garden well, it's rather eh. That's ok though. The plants that did make it are thriving, and I will begin constructing the coldframes in the next few months, so I can just keep putting seeds out there and see how they do. I have a lot of seeds, so I am not worried about running out. Clears the way for fresh stock. :)

-On that note, for my birthday I took the boys into Portland and we picked up a bunch of heirloom seeds from a woman who put them for free on Craigslist. woo hoo! I learned that Asher has memorised which stop is for the Children's Museum. :) Also that Adin really melts down after 30 minutes on the Max, which is still about 30 minutes from anywhere we actually want to go. Except the Museum. That stop is right on the edge of that magical window of time.

-I am waffling quite a bit over just how permanent this home is. There simply isn't a community here. Part of me says "build community!" the other part says "out of what? with who?" It's looking like we are going to be relocating to someplace we can actually be connected to our neighbors. Just not sure how far in the future that is. In the meantime, what to do? Such anxiety. and really, somewhat pathetic.

-Rootstalk! I want to go, desperately, but unless I can somehow win tickets it simply isn't going to happen. That's ok, I did get a big stack of beautiful posters to put up around town, and have been doing just that. I figure if it gets enough promotion and attendance then there will be one next year for me :) Yet still, my heart is saying 'my people! Are these my people?'

Time for bed. That is a wonderful thing. I wonder, why do we say that little boys play like puppies, and why not that puppies play like little boys? These lanky, floppy, hilarious whirlwinds are so much more relatable to me; puppies must emulate them.

happily,
nava

fear and something like it

2011-06-27T20:14:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow my baby sister (I know she dislikes that term, and doesn't get it, but there it is) goes in for a very rare and potentially dangerous adrenal surgery. My avoidance tactics have been in full gear, until yesterday when I suddenly snapped into what I can only really call my 'calmness'. The first time I got this was calling my Dad after I had been in a car accident at 15. He said he hoped to never heard that tone in my voice again, because it scared him so deeply. He described it as calm, matter of fact, deadpan, and something else. Without any heat, but not cold. Unfortunately he heard it again when I went to tell him a few months later that my sister had fainted and hit her head. Shock, I suppose, is what it is, self-protection of that kind, waiting. This is the first time I'm in this pre-emptively and for more than 10 minutes, so this is strange for me. I hope it goes away soon. I hope it doesn't until the surgery is over and she is absolutely and completely fine.

I called to tell her I love her. In about 33 hours, I plan to again.
In between, I'll pray.

busy

2011-06-13T11:24:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy few days around here. I got knocked flat with a myster illness + allergy combo, and finally was able to function again a couple days ago. We are pulling up carpet and rearranging bedrooms this week; so far one room is drying and waiting for furniture, then we repeat on the next room, and then the next. We went to the hardware store and got fencing and posts for my garden; I need to get that in today so the bunnies can roam free without eating my plants. I also need to get all my windowsill plants into the garden. I've decided to build windowsill boxes so I can grow things year round indoors, but that can wait a little. Now I need to take apart my bed, redrill holes to raise the sides so I can store stuff underneath, move it into the new room, reassemble and start on the next room.
Late Saturday our awesome friends drove up from Coos Bay en route to Ohio, and we were very glad the rooms were not torn up yet, but they will be coming back through on Sunday and I intend to have it all done by then.
whew!

happily, -nava
L

Wish I Hads

2011-06-06T19:09:00.000-07:00

Just read a blog update from a girl (woman, now) I knew back in summer camp. She is currently serving a medical mission aboard the Comfort, just spent several months in Kenya, and got her pilot's license. I am frankly envious. I am envious because she is doing amazing things and helping people. Me? I look back at what I could have done with my life, before I had kids, and what did I contribute? Not a whole lot. Do I regret having kids, do I think that they have taken away my freedom to live my dreams? No! Not even a little! Here's the thing: I was a legal adult for 7 years before becoming a parent. Seven! How much could I have, should I have done with that? Even if I had stopped whatever it was before marriage that's still 5 years. What was I doing? Drifting. I studied a little Tae Kwon Do, did some schooling, served as a camp counselor but I really didn't DO anything. I didn't pursue a single one of my ambitions. Why? Fear. I let fear from a car accident excuse me putting off learning to drive or fly; I let fear of social interactions get in the way of opportunity; I let fear of failure excuse my not extending myself, and worst of all I let fear of losing affection excuse never going after what I wanted, because I knew what I had wouldn't be waiting when I returned. I should have gone for it. At least I can be an example to my kids. At least I can work now, to make a difference now. I plan to. I will.

-nava

Oregon spring

2011-06-04T23:56:00.000-07:00

I called the boys over excitedly to watch the wind swirl yellow clouds of pollen from the enormous pines overhanging our fence. First a gust one way, then the yellow billowed the other way to catch on the neighbour's trees, as if it had been aimed. In my mind I am trying to convince myself that I'll be fine, that those yellow clouds won't affect me at all. My histamines apparently did not believe a word of it. Two loratadine later, I am wondering how exactly being unconscious is going to play into my first summer here.
It was a gorgeous day, and we even had the boys outside, despite still being sick, because this weather is making them feel better. Here's hoping tomorrow brings more, in both amazing weather and recovery.

happily, -nava

ABBA was right

2011-06-02T11:12:00.000-07:00

I remember the first tim I heard ABBA's 'Money, money, money', sitting in a rental car with my Dad. He laughed a little, sighed, and said "it would be." I didn't grow up oblivious to money; I knew things cost money, and that we didn't have any to spare. I was never worried about money though. Now, I am becoming borderline obsessed, and it is unpleasant. Yes, I need to be aware of how much is coming in and how much is going out, but triple-checking the numbers every day isn't going to change the fact that we will have $1 after bills this pay period, and that we would have been $52 short of paying bills next pay period. So I had to let go, stop freaking out, and wait. Then Milt got holiday pay for Memorial Day, and out of nowhere the rebbitzin mentioned she needed some sewing done. We are ok, again, for this month. Every single time, we are ok, and all I can do is say Thank You. And try, so very hard, to keep trusting. Also, etsy needs to start bringing in some money. Yeesh.

-nava

2011-06-01T10:19:00.000-07:00

It has been a sleepless few days in my home; sometimes it feels longer, I at least have adjusted and the days are somewhat hazy but calm, two little boys, one very sick but getting better, one slowly succumbing, both content for the most part to cuddle and doze and watch movies, eating toast and drinking tea. It is the nights that are hard. I knew nights would be harder, not just because that is when Adin woke up with that terrifying whooping and coughing that alerted us to the fact that something serious is happening, but because nights in general are the hardest. I was wondering why, last night, with one baby finally sleeping and one in a fever-induced half-doze alternating demands and questions, both nonsense or unintelligible, hen drifting off again. Maybe it's the lack of energy; everyone else is sleeping, the whole world is sleeping, seemingly, there isn't that flow of energy to draw from, to prop up and soothe to a semblance of health. Soon, I hope, nights in an artificially humid room, lights on until first light, constantly checking and rechecking their breathing, their fevers, soothing back down one or the other, scared and in pain, will be done. Until the next time. For now, this quiet daze of sunlit hours is a welcome respite, for all three of us. Now I go back to my blanket-wrapped babies and settle in again, for as long as I can.

-nava

Happy Memorial Day

2011-05-30T11:50:00.000-07:00

I had ancestors who fought on both sides of the Revolutionary War (they were hung as traitors, on both sides, we are talented), both sides of the Civil War, and probably even the Mexican army. My grandfather was in the Army, my father the Navy, and my sister the Marine Corps. Now I think all we need is a Coastie and we're set! I hope this is a beautiful day for everyone; we are having a campout in our smallest bedroom turned sickroom and, you know what? It's been really nice. Excluding germs.

happily, -nava

Itamar

2011-03-23T19:05:00.000-07:00

The murders in Itamar have been haunting me. It is a personal nightmare for me, the possibility that I could go to sleep in my supposedly safe home only to be attacked in the middle of the night. To know that there are people out there who would actually murder children, not just children, but sleeping infants. To have it reaffirmed that my children's innocence is no protection for them. I can't understand this, I cannot, how any human being could take a child and end them. These people have lost their humanity, and that is truly a tragedy, for they are not animals, no, animals do not kill in order to bring suffering. These individuals have given up their humanity to become monsters. There is absolutely no justification for this, none. In our modern age murder has become distant; our terrible weapons of war allow us to kill from a distance, to never connect with our victims, to preserve what little bits of our soul is left after knowing that we have murdered another, for whatever reason, with the blood on our hearts, but not on our hands. To kill in this way, so intimately, with one's own hand, that takes a soul that has been utterly scarred and sealed. I don't know what will happen to these people, but I don't think there is anything that anyone can do to redeem them in this lifetime. It is tearing me apart, those poor children, that loss. The pain of the surviving children. It's just so hard.

Then added to this is the silence of the media. I search for reports of Itamar, and what pops up? So far only Jewish news broadcasts and Glen Beck. Really? Written coverage is limited and tries desperately to downplay exactly what happened. In contrast, there are full reports on how Israel wants to expand settlements after “the murder of 5 people in nearby Itamar.” Oh, the word choices. For shame, those word choices, to distance the audience from what happened. Compare that with the reaction if it had been instead “the murder of 5 family members in nearby Itamar.” To really drive the point home, imagine if US news reported “the murder of two parents and three young children in their beds”. No, instead they are faceless, identity-less, no connection, just statistics, just some bodies, “5 people in nearby Itamar.”

I understand why they have chosen these words, to report the facts without stirring up bias, to leave intact the compassion for Palestinians. You think I don't have compassion for these people? What turmoil it must be, to live in a country that is not a country, to have opposing violent forces constantly speaking for you and in your name, to not know if your home will stay your home, your government your government, when or if there will be peace in your lifetime. What they live through is terrible, and I can only hope that this whole mess gets resolved soon. But to 'protect' them by downplaying this murder? That doesn't help anyone. What happened should never have happened, and any populace should be called on to root out such sickness from among them, that they do not become poisoned. For truly, how does this reflect back onto the Palestinian people, the majority of whom, I believe, just want peace? What these monsters did only hurts their cause, and for the rest of the world to hide it only gives impetus for more attacks, more of this. Do we wait for all of Palestine to be condemned through an atrocity too big to ignore, or do we work to find some measure of justice now?

I don't know. This whole thing is just so awful. That one of us could do this to another; the whole world should be weeping.

global conspiracy?

2011-03-13T12:58:00.001-07:00

With all the natural disasters happening in the past few months, I have noticed an interesting similarity: in all of them, agricultural areas were hit hard. The ice storms that hit the US went through our main agricultural centers, the Midwest and the South, as well as slamming the Northeast. The torrential rains and hurricane that hit Australia wiped out their agriculture as well, although they were quite realistic about just how bad this looks for Australia's food security this year, while the US was not. Now this massive earthquake and tsunami has hit Japan's northeast, a rural, agricultural area of the country. I think it's a far-fetched idea that there is a connection, but it is eerily consistent that the industry with the highest fuel inputs, the food industry, is being hit the hardest.
What it does mean is that we have even more of a catalyst for encouraging and supporting not only local food but home-grown food, as well as food preservation, as these disasters are clearly demonstrating that our food supply is not safe, it is as vulnerable as it ever was, even more so now that we as a nation do not truly understand our own food, and to rely on it completely is folly. So now the question for me is, how can I help my neighborhood become more self-sufficient when it comes to food supply? I think removing the HOA poultry ban would be a good first step ;) Adding in a provision for goats would be great too, but maybe I can organize a planting day; a neighborhood plant-in. It would be awesome!

happily,
-nava

the politics of it all

2011-03-09T19:05:00.001-08:00

I've been paying attention to the goings-on in Wisconsin and the repercussions around the country, and several things have come to my attention.
First, we are in a time of incredible political upheaval; with all the riots and overthrows going on worldwide,with the domino effect of political destabilization occurring in Africa and the Middle East, we should be thankful and, I think, somewhat confused as to why, that is not happening here.
Second, we need to grow up. All this came into sharp focus for me when an acquaintance of mine reposted a link calling what the Wisconsin democratic senators are doing “a temper tantrum”. I posted in response that I disagreed, and gave a brief rundown of why, as I figured he simply didn't have the whole picture of what is going on. Less than a week later, he posts a link about the arrest warrants going out and this time he himself calls their actions a temper tantrum.
I was honestly angry, and it took me a bit to figure out why. It isn't because we are on opposite sides of this issue, it is because of the words he used: belittling, disrespectful, and polarizing. I realise we have had a lot of polarizing in our country, and it does not seem to be slowing down. Both sides are defensive and offensive, refusing to 'back down' or 'give in'. The problem is that we have lost sight of an important fact: these people represent us. All of us. They all represent the same people: the American people. The reason for the mass amnesia regarding this can, I believe, be summed up quite simply: we have lost respect.
This is easy to see on an individual level; when a society is so fragmented that any type of authority (parents, police, etc) are seen as the enemy, rather than people from whom we can learn and who protect and guide us, we lose our anchors. We lose our connections, and our ability to see ourselves in each other. When we can no longer relate to one another respect falls away. It is this lack of respect that dissolves honest political debate into mudslinging campaigns, where anyone who disagrees or stands up for their beliefs can be mocked and ridiculed, and have this belittling language taken and spread by people whose only contribution or involvement seems to be participating in 'winning' this pointless game.
For that is what politics currently seem to be: a game. For all that each 'side' is fighting to keep the other 'side' from getting anything done, we are all losing. When the poor and the needy in our country are denigrated and abused, we all lose. When any segment of our population can be pushed aside and branded as the enemy, we all lose. For then we are not healing our body public; for a tourniquet does not heal the wound, and amputation leaves us forever scarred. In both, the gangrene sets in and soon we are all feeling the sickness and decay, however much we can pretend we are not all part of the same societal organism.
We should be working together, to heal what is clearly a weak and sickened system. The first step toward that healing, I believe, is to regain and reestablish respect. Respect does not mean liking each other; it does mean setting aside personal feelings when they are irrelevant. To respect does not mean to unthinkingly agree; in fact it's even fun to say: “I see, and I respectfully disagree.” Respect does mean listening to each other, fully examining the issue at hand, and working together to come to a workable solution. Respect means keeping the insults out of the public discourse, and remembering that these people are elected by us, for us, and we must work through them and with them, and with each other, to continue this country.
So please, do not cheapen debate by relying on insulting and fearful language to sway those around you to join 'your side'. Rely on the truth, on insightful, honest discussion, and on your regard for your fellow person to reclaim your role as a citizen and a loving member of a vast, vast family. We need each other; I would that we all regain sight of that.

tzitzit

2011-03-08T19:03:00.000-08:00

Asher wore his tzitzit for the first time to shul on Shabbat, at his request. It was awesome. I made him a tallit katan and we tied the tzitzit earlier in the week, so they would be ready for him. He was so excited! We said the blessing, he put them on, and was very proud of himself all day.
I have another set waiting; I am debating trimming (before or after) since I did have to cut off quite a bit. We'll see; since it isn't daily for him yet I have time to figure it out.

even more direction

2011-03-07T19:02:00.000-08:00

I have been in a bit of a tizzy since Wednesday night. Every Wednesday I go to a women's Torah study at the local Chabad; it's been a very nice time, a time for me to slow down and breathe midweek, interact, really think and listen carefully.
I've been working on just listening, as I have a tendency to dominate a conversation once I get going, and I think that connecting with and really getting to know other people through their own words and perspectives is something I should be doing, rather than just spouting off what I think/know. I have met some really wonderful ladies through this class, each week a slightly different grouping, depending on who can come. This past week one of the ladies was discussing her son's upcoming Bar Mitzvah, and their farm, and somehow (I have no idea; there goes my mouth again) I wound up saying flippantly that I dream of living on a communal farm, but that's sometime in the future. Now, I don't know why I said this; I think it was only tangentially
connected to the subject at hand (if at all), but in this case their was a reason.
See, she and her husband own a farm, a nice-sized one, and after my remark she turned to me in all serious and started “well, actually...”. They have the permits in hand to build just such a community, and have just been waiting for the right time to get started.

Now, I do believe in fate. I do believe in and try to have G-d guide me in my life. People kept asking me, why are you moving to Portland? I couldn't really answer except to say that I love Portland. I do, even though I hadn't been here in over 15 years, but I do very much love this area,and have felt drawn here since that brief visit. When we couldn't find a place in the Jewish area of Portland we wound up 'settling' on our current place, which is nice, walking distance to everything we need, etc. Milt wound up getting hired an hour away from here, and has been unable to find a new position anywhere closer. Here's the thing; by coming here we became involved in the local Chabad, and that is where I met this lovely woman. Milt's job, while far from here, in only 30 minutes (tops) from their farm. Everything is coming together, faster and faster and faster, more clearly each step we take, that it is hard for me to not get giddily excited despite the fact that hey, this might not happen.

We are currently in the position that this can happen, at least for us, and frankly if we can get it going right it WILL happen. I am thrilled. Beyond thrilled. I can't stop thinking about it. We are visiting the farm within the next 5 days, and we will go from there. Wow.

happily,
-nava

etsy feature

2011-03-02T13:17:00.000-08:00

Last night I received a message from the etsylawst blog asking to feature my etsy shop. I panicked a bit. The timing was amazing as I had just refocused as well as spending almost 2 hours on the phone with Yohki during which we discussed, among other things, marketing my shop. I was not ready, but close. However, these things don't wait for me to be ready, especially when I've thrown away my prep time, so I said yes and got to work.
I made a blog for the shop, a banner for the blog and an avatar for my shop, both of which I will be posting tonight when I go to the library before Torah study, and have been figuring out what to do next. Well, the feature is already up, so I am racing against time here, but I am very very thankful for the publicity. At least now I'll be better prepared, yes?

happily,
nava

direction

2011-03-01T13:03:00.001-08:00

I've been in a bit of a mental muddle lately, I believe I lost my way for a bit, my focus. Thing is, I hadn't really acknowledged what my focus should be, what my overarching purpose seems to be, and so distraction added to distraction and soon I was wandering in daydreams. I got a wake-up call last night, well, actually a second one. The first was a reminder of what I am and what I should be doing, and really lifted my spirits, but it wasn't quite enough, evidently, since the second was a warning as to what would come about from spending my life in my head. 2am is as good a time as any for a reevaluation, and since I had no one physical to talk to I got to have a bit of a conversation with myself and the One Upstairs. So here I am, refocused and I am going to try to get to where I need to be. Another help was the (coincidental?) mention of another blog by a fellow I respect very much, so influences and directions are coming thick and fast. ( Sometimes I do need very very clear directions handed to me, clearly!) The point is I am going to stop compartmentalising, since I am very much a web-of-connections thinker, and I'm going to get back on track.my track. Hopefully I'll also be clearer in sharing this, since that is part of my 'track' as well.
obtuse? I often am, Things may get clearer, or not, but I needed to write this and get on with things.

happily,
-nava

hello Oregon

2011-01-21T11:44:00.000-08:00

well, we've been in Oregon for almost a month now, and in our house since the 3rd, We've been adjusting a lot, but things for the most part have been going well.
heating: our house has a radiator for almost every room, each individually controlled, with varying levels of effectiveness; the one in our bedroom will roast us in minutes, the one in the living room warms up the windowsill quite nicely, etc. For the past week I've kept all the heaters off except when absolutely needed; once Milt had to be up at 6 and it had frozen overnight, but by the time the rest of us got up we could shut it off again.
paint: the house was painted...interestingly. Thankully there was a gigantic bucket of blueish paint in the garage, so with the help of a $5 can of brown paint I am (slowly) repainting the mint-green living room a nice, clean grey. The boy's room I painted a super happy dark aqua; they love it. The kitchen will be yellow (hooray for oops paint!) but I'm waiting on that, since it needs a bit of a remodel. We'll see.
Did manage to kasher the kitchen, mostly; the dishwasher is a glorified dish drying rack, I want to get wash bins for the sink (for conservation reasons, too) and I use towels and plastic cutting mats on the laminate countertops for now.
planning my garden; there is one spot in the backyard that gets sun all day, and I've noticed that's where the neighbours have positioned their planter boxes too. Just need to salvage some materials for that.
we are still just using our phones for internet, and occasionally driving over to McD's to use their free wifi when we need it (some sites/functions do not work on a phone) and it looks like we will not be able to afford home internet for some time, which is fine, we're doing ok :)
on that note, we have been looking for a renter; I hope we find the right one/ones soon, because I would really love the company and that big, beautiful room is just an empty space till then.
Alright, time to get ready for Shabbat. Should be really great this week!
happily
-nava

moving in

2011-01-07T15:15:00.000-08:00

we finally got into the house on the 3rd, signed on the 5th. After much deliberation (who's, I don't know) the sellers signed yesterday. Containers were delivered the 5th, finished unloading today, and I am really really really looking forward to Shabbat. My only internet access is through my phone, so whileit's been great having some access and taking advantage of what an awesome phone I have, it's been a bit limiting. Once % have real internet again it will be picture time, because OH MAN the updating I have planned for this place! Woooo!

happily,
nava

Well hello, 2011. So nice to see you.

2011-01-01T18:38:00.000-08:00

I am in Oregon. We are in Oregon. Finally. I flew up with the boys on Thursday; 7am flight out of San Jose. It was a great flight; quiet, short, early. No issues in security (no scan or pat-down), easy seating arrangement switch, happy child, sleeping toddler.
The UPack containers were filled in a marathon session by my Dad, with some assistance from myself and my sister. My Mom helped indoors, packing and organising. 3 containers full of STUFF, and still some got left behind. I am going to continue getting rid of things as I unpack up here. It's been fun, actually, the purging. Assisting in this is that I am setting up our kitchen as Kosher, so anything that didn't make the cut is GONE. It means I start over too, in acquiring some things, so I am trying to keep that controlled. I want to cut it all down, as far as we can. Packing all that was too much. Even after all the Ebay and half.com and garage sales and craigslist and freecycle, so much stuff.
Mom and I managed to condense my crafting supplies quite a bit. It doesn't all fit in the wardrobe, yet, but by summer that is my plan, and by the end of this year (Rosh Hoshanah) I want it all to fit without being precarious. :) One of the last things to make it in to the containers was my little sewing machine; my heavy-duty (to me, at least) machine I think got left behind. It may get sent up, it may not. Either way I want to give sewing lessons. I have enough supplies, after all, and we can definitely use the income! Going to finish posting things to Etsy too; perhaps today, a little 'New Year' treat.
I am looking forward to the enforced frugality we are heading in to; no tv, still sussing out internet, very minimal use of utilities. Which reminds me, we need to get utilities turned on in the house.
We sign Monday, finally, 11 days late, and are taking 'early' occupancy for $30 a day until the down payment clears. Cheaper than a hotel, yes, and we are relieved to finally be moving in. Finally finally finally.
Finally together, finally going home, finally starting again after a long pause.
Finally.
It's going to be a lovely year.

So here is my resolution: Go, enjoy. "We should all be all alive."

Movin' On Uuuuup (material monday. ish.)

2010-12-06T20:32:00.000-08:00

'We' sign the papers on the 23rd. I'm looking into POA for various reasons. The closing date is the 27th. Wow. So soon. so very very soon. Not ready yet, but so ready. If I could throw everything in a bag and be out the door now I would.
Milt's been up there since the 28th, as he started work the 29th. The first few days were hard, but harder for him, as he didn't have the routine and the rhythm of taking care of the boys, the house, the plans; all he had was the emptiness of a rented room and the voices of his son through a telephone. The first few calls were filled with choked messages, loneliness.
It hits me sometimes now too, especially as I try to plan for getting the 3 of us up there; "what day? what does closing mean? should we deliver our stuff before we get there? what is your work schedule? what, in all this confusion, will work?" Then I look into plane tickets and, despite my repulsion at being scanned and/or searched the trade off is >2 hours flight time, or +12 hours drive time, or +30 hours train. So plane tickets then, but what about the cost? $50 if we can go the 25th, but where would we sleep then? $50 if I can wait until January; can I? It's only an extra week. It's an entire extra week! Not so long, and yet we are so tired of waiting, of the being apart.
Asher wakes up every morning now, "Daddy not here. Daddy at new house!" calm, matter-of-fact, sometime excited. Already it's a routine; it's been easy, how quickly he accepted it, no tears, just some occasional wistfulness. Is that ok? In small children time was elastic, I remember, my own Dad gone for months at a time, no sadness on my part. It was the actual parting that hurt, not the being apart. I am thankful that he's not hurting, but somehow, it makes it harder, and strange, being so alright with this distance. Adin though, he's been a bit clingy, so incredibly excited whenever I come around a corner, much less back inside after being out for an errand. "You came BACK!" Happy to see me, yes, but also so surprised.
It's made me re-examine love, family, attachment. Strangely, makes adoption seem even less fraught; I'd only seen the trauma of it until now, known the risks, the problems, the pain of what I still want, eventually. but this has nothing to do with our move. Not yet, anyhow.
Now it's a matter of purging; I've lost my camera, again, so I can't post things to sell, and anything I don't sell in my 'not keeping' pile I am giving away. I don't want any of it, and I can't afford to take it even if I wanted to. Hey, right now I can't afford to take any of it. Strangely, I'm ok with the thought that perhaps all these boxes I am carefully packing will have to be abandoned. It makes me giddy. I wouldn't miss it, most of it, I know now the boys wouldn't at all. I am going to go through the boxes of toys, see if I can purge another 50% there. Shouldn't be hard. I keep catching myself waffling over things, thinking "what if" and packing it up again when I should be throwing it out. Throw it out! Be done. Be free. That seems to be my mantra these days. be Free.

progress!

2010-11-07T20:11:00.000-08:00

Oh wow it's been a crazy couple of weeks. First, Milt got a job! Well, a job transfer. All because our awesome realtor called her friend, who is a manager in a semi-local store in Milt's company. Awesome! We are still hoping for the other job, but now that this job is in hand we are go! However, she needs him the 1st week of December, and the soonest we can close on the house is the end of December, so we will be apart for 1 month. Hard. Especially for the boys. He has promised to Skype every day though, so that's good. Also, so so so so so exciting. This is really happening! Woo hoo!

Otherwise we've been clearing out everything we own! So have my parents! It's been wild in here! Milt decided to sell his big corner desk unit, so I cleared it and emptied the matching file cabinet, and I emptied our tall4-drawer file cabinet and condensed all those files into 1 box. so cool. I'm pretty sure we'll need 1 more file box, but I'm hoping I can condense things a little more. I havegonethrough all our boxes that were still packed from our move last August and have been purging, at least 1/3 of our stuff, and almost 1/2 of our books. I also went through and pulled out all my 'in progress' stuff, and all the various uncompleted projects from my Grandmother, and put them all in bins to work on. 4 bins of sewing projects! Wild! Some of them are from the early 1970s. Also very cool.

So now I'm getting back to that, and then hopefully time for bed.

happily,
nava

making plans: week 2

2010-10-24T09:05:00.000-07:00

Since the task of going through everything in this house is so consuming I am not going to attempt to get back to my 5-day postings until it is done, just random updates and a weekly game plan.

On the house front, we are waiting to hear from the bank and from Milt's job, to see about a transfer request. We are really waiting to hear from the VA on an even better job, but we need something in order to move forward. Onward, ever onward. We havedecided to go with U-Packmoving, because theideaofMilt having to drive a truckover I-5 in the snow has me freaked the heck out. Of course, so does the thought of us driving the van over I-5 in the snow, but oh well.

Last week I focused on patterns; I have over 200 complete patterns ready to go to Pattern Rescue, and I am still finding bits and pieces as I sort through. however, I am marking that project 'done', and moving on.

This week I have a few areas to focus in: fabric, sewing, and etsy.

I've decided to get my etsy shop going again, this time by November1st. It seems crazy, but really it's needed, because if I can sell the things now I don't have to take them with me to Oregon. Yay! So that means I need to put together all my partially assembled items, finish writing my essence descriptions and get everything photographed and posted. Even if nothing sells, at least this will be done and I can reopen after we move.

Other sewing is needed as well; I am going to try to finish up all my UFOs, at least to thepoint that Ican take out all thepins, if not completely finish each thing. The boys at least need very cozy pjs, since they kick their covers off and I don't want them to freeze. Footie pjs! I am also going to try to turn more of my scraps into quilt squares: I keep all my trimmings, then sew them to used dryer sheets in crazy-quilt fashion. Waste not, want not, right? Plus it's really quick, and less thought and time intensive than my other quilts.

While I do this I am going to go through all the fabric. There are more than 10 bins of fabric to go through, which I will be dividing into keep: I actually have plans for or love this fabric; sell: vintage or otherwise awesome fabric; and giveaway: small lots, random fabrics, and anything not a natural fiber.

Ok, we'll see how this week goes! Hopefully the weather clears by next weekend too. :)

happily,
nava

what day is it? : patterns! everywhere!

2010-10-21T14:40:00.000-07:00

So this whole buying a house - trying to move - dealing with banks - finding employment -sifting through mountains of ... stuff... has really thrown me for a loop. At the end of the day I don't even zone out anymore; I just keep going until I can barely drag myself into bed because I just. want. to. finish. My poor kids. Well, Adin seems fine; he likes the new stuff to destroy, but Asher is having a hard time with the incredible mess and the lack of routine. Poor kid.

The past 4 days I have done nothing but sort patterns. 35+ years of patterns. This means gathering them all together, all the envelopes, random pieces, etc, sorting them, trying to put the pieces with the envelopes, repairing ripped pieces and envelopes, and cataloging everything. 4 days. I have 4 groups: mine (mine!mine!) sell/giveaway vintage, sell giveaway non-vintage, and 'missing'.The 'missing' group runs the gamut from complete except for 1 tiny piece missing to everything missing except for one sad little piece floating around in a plastic bag with a large card telling me the company and pattern number. I have sorted through 1 box of patterns so far, smoothing, matching, packaging, I still have 2 MORE to go.

What I want to do is see if there is some place online where people are looking for pattern pieces to complete their own incomplete ones and I will send them mine (if they need them) for the cost of postage. Or even free. heck, I think we might have an extra $5 this week, why not? Well, I don't think $5 will send many. A few though! Definitely a few!

I did manage to freecycle about 10 buckets of paint. Awesome! I also have one box of craft 'stuff' (magazines, supplies, patterns) to get rid of. I was hoping to garage sale this weekend, but the forecast is calling for RAIN. and then some RAIN. plus I am attending a baby shower and hopefully getting together with friends this weekend, but it already seems too late for garage sales and we need money for closing costs and money money money freak out blah blah blah. I need to chill out again.

That has been my lesson in this whole thing. Chill out. Trust.
So I do.
Again.

happily.
-nava

tasty tuesday: coconut rice pudding

2010-10-12T23:08:00.000-07:00

So Sunday we drove back from Portland and it took me all of yesterday and some of today to recover. Whew! What a trip! It was great, but when we move we are splitting it up into 2 days, at least, because sitting in a car for12 straight hours does a number on the body. Anyhow!

So when we got back there was a big pot of rice in the rice cooker, and since it was getting to the end of its tastyness I took theleftovers, put it in a pot with a can of coconut milk and some raisins and cooked it up until it was warm. A little sprinkle of cinnamon and YUM. that's it!

-happily,
nava

tasty tuesday: the generosity of others

2010-09-28T21:32:00.000-07:00

Today! Today I woke up later than intended (10!) and then only because my boys had drawn swirls on the wood floors with what looked like black sharpie. yay! Once I went after it with a rag and rubbing alcohol (usually my go-to with marker damage) I discovered it was actually black crayon. and lime-green crayon. oh, and some hot pink crayon to accent the baseboards. I haven't dealt with the orange crayon on the closet door or the brown crayon on the playroom wall. yet.
Thanks to the late start Mom and I kept trying to figure out our plans, which were to include IKEA, Pacifica, lunch, and loading my minivan with some furniture. See, my parents have been up in Pacifica, renting a room from my aunt, to be closer to my Dad's office. Now that he's transferring to DC they are packing up the room in Pacifica and moving everything down here, so it's easier to sort through and pare down. We decided that the simplest plan was Ikea-lunch-Pacifica-load-dinner-home, so that's what we did.
I love Ikea fries. That is all.
Once we got to Pacifica I took my Mom to Safeway, and she bought supplies for dinner; she and Dad made us rice, garbanzos, salmon, and a big salad. It was delicious!
Then I drove home, with a car full of stuff, the end.

That's all I've got for today! Tomorrow I'm planning to submit my final exam. I'm hoping it cools down. That would be really helpful, for things like thinking and breathing. :) Portland, I am so looking forward to your rain!

happily,
nava

material monday: moving on

2010-09-27T19:02:00.001-07:00

Ok!Well all these holidays took me by surprise, and we are having a great time (Simchat Torah next! yay!), I'm just about done with my first herbalist course (just need to sit the final exam!) and we are already on to the next big project: moving! which means: decluttering!

The four of us are moving to: Portland! We are going house-hunting in a little over a week (!!!) so we've started the pre-approval process for a loan, all that fun stuff. In addition, my Dad accepted a position in DC, so he and Mom are moving too! Not only that, they are moving at the end of October, so it is crunch time on the paring down and making plans, and it has been nuts!

We are planning a yard sale for this coming week, so this week the plan is to pull everything out, evaluate, and get a big sale together. In addition to sorting through our stuff, 30 years of my parent's stuff, and 25 years of my Grandmother's stuff, there's another problem: we are dealing with the heat wave that's been smothering California, and this house does not have air conditioning. Our normal trick of closing the windows in the morning and turning on the fans is only lasting to about 1pm, and then it's too hot to do anything beyond sit until around 8 pm, when it is finally cool enough to open the windows again.

Also my card reader is on the fritz, so until I can get that sorted out no new pics. :(
So, full steam ahead!

happily,
nava

brief hiatus

2010-09-13T23:18:00.000-07:00

I just found out I have 7 more days to complete my herbalism course, so that is my entire focus right now. I'll be back the 22nd!

material monday: hats!

2010-09-06T20:46:00.000-07:00

Asher is 3!!! Amazing! 3 years ago, wow, we were in such a different place,physically, mentally, but one thing has never changed, we fell in love with that kid the moment he looked at us, and we've been smitten ever since. His birthday party was great; he had a blast playing with his friend, and our steam trip excursion up at Roaring Camp was so much fun. Milt decided that if we win the lottery, it doesn't matter where we are living, we're going back there for his 4th birthday and renting the private car. ;)

His little upsherin was small and sweet; it went really well. Everyone took turns cutting his hair, and I saved one curl for the scrapbook. His hair was wild afterward, but one night of sleeping and it looks really cute! We gave him a set of books; a children's siddur, machzor and tehillim from Mesorah publishing, as well as his tzitzit (which he can't wear yet; soon!) and some really cute HATS!

The hats I got at Target; they were cute and fit pretty well, but were, as Kat put it, very 'scene'. As in, skulls. I personally feel skulls are a little inappropriate for a 3-year-old, so I changed them! I forgot to take a before picture, and target does not sell them online, so the after picture will just have to do!
The cap was the easiest, as there were no skulls involved, just a 'gritty' 'urban' applique. Asher picked out a tree iron-on, so that was an easy little change. The grey fedora had a white skull at the base of the star, so I sharpied over the skull and ironed on a fun 'E' Milt helped me pick out. The black fedora took the longest; the original band was a skull print, so I ripped that off (it was glued on) and found a fun abstract type guitar fabric, and used it to sew on a new band. I love easy refashions; I especially like shopping Halloween clearance (you can get onesies 2 for $1!!) and then 'de-halloween'-ing them. Asher loves his new hats and I love that he looks cute and smart but still like a little kid, rather than a 'tough boy' or a product advertisement. :)

While we were at JoAnne's I happened to spot this awesome little book of iron-ons! I got the tree for the hat from this book, and used a whole sheet of butterflies on a stained shirt of mine; I'm going to see how well they do in the wash, but they are really, really fun. I have a lot of plans for this little book! Most of them involve covering up stains :)

happily,
nava

thoughtful thursday: line drying

2010-09-02T22:29:00.000-07:00

One way I try to save the planet (and cut down on costs) is to line dry our laundry. There are definite pros and cons to this, and all sorts of excuses for not doing it. However, I do 13 loads of laundry a week (2 loads 6 days a week, plus 1 load of linens) minimum, so that is a lot of drying that needs to happen, and thus a lot of opportunity to do this the best way.

pro: it's free! yay!

pro: it doesn't use up resources! by line drying I am not only not using up energy resources directly, but also indirectly by preventing wear and tear on the dryer, which would have to be replaced eventually. (yay! more money-saving!)

con: somewhat weather-dependent. now, I do hope to eventually have an indoor or covered clothesline, but for now it is out in the open so we need sunny weather in order to dry. Also, I then make excuses for not going outside to hang clothes, as in the summer "it's too hoooooot." In the winter, "it's too cooooold". Basically, I need to stop whining.

pro: free bleaching! Line-drying gets our cloth diapers nice and white again.

con: free bleaching! Anything dried in the sun will get sun-bleached. Until I have a covered clothesline to mitigate this I hang our clothes and anything else I don't want faded inside-out. So, yes, they still get faded, but on the inside.

con: line-dried laundry is really stiff.Not the t-shirts or other knit fabrics, but cotton sheets are somewhat stiff, and those jeans? well, they soften up eventually with wearing. give it an hour or two.

pro: line-dried laundry smells amazing. seriously, so nice. If laundry is still stinky after drying outside, I would definitely get that washing machine looked at.

Now I need to put away all that line-dried laundry, and get to bed!

happily,
nava

working wednesday: surprise house makeover part 2

2010-09-01T17:43:00.000-07:00

Well, I am done! mostly. What all did I do? I painted the dining room, living room and kitchen walls beige (two different beiges, actually, as I found a can of paint that was almost the same color as the one I bought, which was good because then I had just enough paint), tiled and boxed the hearth, painted the brick fireplace surround, constructed and painted a mantle to go over the brick 'mantel', and patched and painted the wall above the fireplace. Originally I was going to leave that wall burgundy, to make my mom happy, but there was a big crack in the drywall from the house settling (earthquake country! yay!) and since I had to patch it I had to repaint it anyhow, so I went with grey. Thing is,we didn't have any grey left, so I mixed some green and purple paint with some white primer and made my own grey,which I actually really love. I don't really like the beige and grey together, but it is growing on me, and I am thinking of doing some grey walls in our own house now, instead of all white.

(grey? gray? I think I like grey just because gray looks like Gary to me. hmmm. I know it's supposed to be a regional dialect thing, but since I don't have one dialect I just go with whatever seems right.)

Anyhow, for the fireplace, I used firring strips to create a 'box' on top of the brick, screwed that into the walls, and then I attached the front decorating strip and the mantle top to that. I used liquid nails to attach more wood boards to cover the brick underneath. It's sturdy and looks fantastic (and I say this only because everyone who has seen it says so, and also because I am proud of myself.) I covered the bricks with white primer, then painted over that and the mantel with high-gloss white, for ease of cleaning.

Now then, it isn't quite done. almost! almost.

happily,
nava

tasty tuesday - crab lettuce rolls and chocolate torte

2010-08-31T15:27:00.000-07:00

I tried out this 'crab delight' recipe, although I did not blanch the almonds, I did add a carrot, and I had to sub in 1 T of white vinegar for the 2 T of lemon juice. It came out really tasty; now Milt did not like the raw onion, although I honestly didn't even notice the taste, so next time I may set some aside for him before adding the onion.

nom nom nom

I also made this delicious pecan chocolate torte, to try out for Asher's birthday party. It is really really good, but very rich. It also did not set up completely, so we ate it as a sort of pudding. next time I think I'll cut the agave nectar in half, and use a little more salt.

so fantastic

Still deciding if that's what I want to do for his birthday, as well as figuring out what we want to serve in general. I'm thinking tostadas, but... I dunno. I feel less confident in my serving choices lately, as people are simply not willing to go outside of their food 'box'; a few months age Milt and I decided to make dinner for his family, so we bought a bunch of stuff: fish, potatoes, things for a big salad. His sister went out and bought chicken 'for the guys' and that's what basically everyone ate; they didn't even want baked potatoes. It was ... weird for me. Really weird.

I remember when I was young and my grandmother encouraged me to befriend a little girl who lived down the street. I wound up in inviting her for dinner,and she accepted, although her mom made her a white-bread american 'cheese' sandwich first, 'just in case'. Well, I could see why when she came to our house and my Mom offered to serve her some dinner- a cheese souffle. "ew, I don't like that." I was shocked; I could never had said something like that to a host. wow. My mom was surprisingly tolerant though, just asked her "do you like eggs?" "yeah." "do you like cheese?" "yeah." "Well, this is just eggs and cheese." " I don't like it like that." " have you ever had this?" "no." My Mom had me walk her home so we could have a peaceful dinner, as there was no point in having her just sit there and watch us eat. I never hung out with her again;
it was just too weird for me; I could not reconcile the way she had acted about food with having her as a friend. I'm not entirely sure why. and it isn't as if I had this surplus of friends, that I could 'afford' to be picky about making a new one. That, however, is a topic for another time.

Which is a really long-winded way to say that I feel awkward offering people food that they may not like, partly due to how I may feel about them afterward because of it, but I also don't like serving food just because it's 'expected': I am not serving chips, pizza, and soda. I'm just not; I'm not that person, we're not that family. Maybe it's weird, maybe not, eh, I can see I am getting way too stressed over this, so I think I'll go finish off some of that chocolate goodness and work out a birthday menu I can be happy about.

happily,
nava

material monday: do fun stuff

2010-08-30T23:05:00.000-07:00

So I had a whole post ready to go, and then I remembered what day it was, so here instead is a link to new album, just released today, called Do Fun Stuff, which was put together in order to raise funds for the study of Smith-Magenis Syndrome, and here is a link to what it is all about. ;)

happily,
nava

thoughtful thursday: baking soda

2010-08-26T21:30:00.000-07:00

After posting last night I walked into our bathroom and realised that not only did I have a project for 'working wednesday' but I had documented it as well! Oh well, it fits just as well into 'thoughtful thursday' so it will have to do.One of the ways I've cut down on toxic chemical usage (and poisoning incidents) in our house is by the obsessive and pervasive use of baking soda. Vinegar serves a major roll in there too, but today baking soda is the star. Back in, oh, maybe January, if not earlier, I decided to try out baking soda in self-care items. I had read about making tooth powder last summer and had come across mentions of homemade deodorant several times, and with both running low I decided, hey, " 'no 'poo' has worked for me, why not these as well?" So I mixed up a batch of deoderant and a batch of tooth powder, put them in some leftover jam jars and have been using them ever since. They both work beautifully; thedeoderant is certainly not an antiperspirant, although it does seem to help a bit with wetness, and it smells fantastic. Since using the tooth powder my teeth have been whiter and gums healthier and my sensitivity has diminished, although only slightly on that last point. Sugar and cold drinks still cause me a lot of pain!
This past week our baby tooth gel (Jason) ran out, and while Milt was in the store puzzling over the dizzying array of all-natural, fluoride-free toothpastes (we love Staff of Life!) I decided that it would be fun for Asher and I to make some custom toothpaste, just for him! I got together the ingredients and supplies:

coconut oil
baking soda
sea salt
flavors
clean baby food jar
small mixing bowl
spatula

smushed, in a messy kitchen

I measured out enough baking soda to almost fill the jar and put it in the bowl, then mashed in coconut oil until it reached a smooth paste consistency and was completely mixed. Then I had Asher smell the various extracts (peppermint, orange, almond, vanilla) and choose his favorite. He chose almond and dumped it in before I could stop him; luckily the bottle was almost empty so it wasn't too much, but that is some very almond toothpaste! I mixed in a pinch of salt, although next time I will leave it out, scooped it into his jar and we labeled it. Custom toothpaste! It's nontoxic, and good for the skin, so I'm not worried or annoyed with him sneaking gobs of it to sample or smear all over himself. Which he has done. Repeatedly.

I mix it!

My toothpowder is slightly different; it is just baking soda, some sea salt, and peppermint extract, added a few drops at a time until the mixture was slightly crumbly but not sticking together or wet.

The deodorant is equal parts baking soda and coconut oil; there are many, many good recipes out there that include more ingredients and I will probably play around with the ingredients next time I make a batch but this suits my needs just fine.

I love these because they cut down on cost, I can buy the ingredients without buying more plastic, and I am keeping chemicals off of and out of my body and out of the environment. All while smelling nice! :)

Now then, Milt has arranged to have the next 10 days off, so it is time to relax! Oooh, and we may be going to a Bar Mitzvah this weekend. Exciting!

happily,
nava

working wednesday: random meme

2010-08-25T20:55:00.000-07:00

Despite working extra hard today (why is it we are getting all our summer right now? 111 degrees? seriously California?) I didn't actually complete any projects, although I did get partway through quite a few; plus, the awesome tires I found for my bike got sold out, so now I am back to square one in the tire search. grr. Anyhoo! So I decided to do a meeeeme, since I haven't in quite a while. Here goes.

1. age on my next birthday
2. place (s) I would like to travel
3. favorite place (s)4. favorite food (s)5. favorite animal

6. favorite color

7. place where I was born
8. name of pet (s)

9. my first name
10. bad habit11. first job
12. Grandmother's names 13. college major
well, that's it for today. Hopefully the temps are low enough tomorrow to really be productive; no a/c + high temps = lots of sitting around trying not to feel warm. yay popsicles!

happily,
nava

tasty tuesday - sushi and 'rice'

2010-08-24T12:32:00.000-07:00

I've been throwing in some raw food again, now that I'm feeling well enough to branch out from my tea+broth cold diet. I tried this recipe for cauliflower 'rice' and, well, I'm hoping I did something wrong because the texture was good but the flavor, hmm. I think maybe the cauliflower was not quite right? It started out kind of tasty, and then just kept tasting worse. It was not growing on us; quite the opposite. So I figured I would just try to use it in sushi instead, since the texture was good and when I rolled it up with some greens it tasted good. Well, the sushi came out quite tasty, and was really fun to make, but the cauliflower not only tasted off but I was quite nauseated for the rest of the evening. (irony: first night in a week I've had the opportunity to go to sleep before 1am, and I'm up because of my stomach. yeesh.) Still, I thought I would share what did work.

ingredients:
miso paste sushi nori sheets sliced carrots
sliced squash rice substitute avocado slices
smashed nuts

First I prepped all the ingredients and laid them out conveniently.

Mom, I can have?

Then, assembly! I smeared some miso paste across the nori, then spread out a layer of rice substitute (I've seen people makethe sushi without the rice sub, and it looked tasty, so I may try that next time!) Next some lines of carrot, squash, avocado, and nuts.

Asher likes to help.

ready to roll!

Roll up tight with the mat

all done!

Slice and serve. Yum!

Next I'm going to try raw tacos and rawvioli, and I'm trying out a chocolate torte for Asher's birthday. nom nom. :)

happily,
nava

material monday: fighting the (virus) fight

2010-08-23T19:24:00.001-07:00

Still fighting off this cold, it's a nasty one, but not completely immobilizing, which is a blessing. This is, also thankfully, just a cold and not Pertussis, of which we apparently have an epidemic currently. We also have one of the highest, if not the highest, pertussis vaccination rates in the country, so, interesting that. In case I have not mentioned it before, we do not vaccinate. It is actually contra-indicated for our children, but even if it weren't I don't know that I would, seeing as there ARE side effects and vaccination does not confer immunity. It does not. If a vaccine 'takes' it confers antibodies, but antibodies are not immunity. (they do help though, don't get me wrong.) So a vaccination will not prevent infection if you have a weak immune system. Good hygiene is needed as well. Interestingly, infection rates and hygiene practice are correlated. Almost give the appearance that vaccinations themselves don't do much?

Ok, ok, I'm not anti-vax. I am anti-baby-vax, and anti-bunched-vax, as I believe both are dangerous. I feel that mass vaccinations are a sort of stop-gap measure against poor hygiene, and I believe that adults who cannot avoid contact with people with poor hygiene (i.e., people who persist in coming into contact with the public when they are sick.) should get vaccinated. My Dad works in an industry that requires a LOT of travel, and a LOT of public contact, so he gets offered vaccines everywhere he goes, and he accepts them gladly, because he is around the babies occasionally and does not want to carry a disease that can hurt them. As he put it "vaccines were to inoculate the people who were carrying disease, so that children would not catch them."

That makes sense, since most kids are not going to go beyond certain spheres of community. It's the adults traveling between groups that really are the spreaders of disease. I'm not talking about once the disease has been introduced to a group, because once one kid has it all the other kids are going to get it really fast. The key is to prevent the introduction of disease into a group. So, if we can stop spreading disease between communities (good hygiene! and, yes, vax) then the kids can be safe and disease, I truly believe, can be obliterated.
But, HOW?

1. When there is an epidemic in our area, like the current pertussis outbreak, we severely limit public outings, and monitor our friend's health to prevent exposure. That means, the only shopping is for groceries and gas, and we limit those as much as possible and go during off hours to avoid crowds.

2. When we are sick, we do not go out. Asher's friend, who is only around a few days a week, came by yesterday and I had to say no to a playdate as even though Asher was ready to play he is still sick and this would not only set him back in his recovery but risk infecting his friend. It was sad, but he was pretty accepting of the situation. After all,he's had to give up cheese and ice cream because of his cold, so I guess he's getting used to it!

3. We do not go to work, or school, sick. When Milt is sick, he stays home. If he is out of sick days, he uses vacation days. Recovery is a lot faster when you stay home and take care of yourself, and forcing yourself to go and give 10% in a work/school setting while exposing everyone around you is just counterproductive. Either way you'll have work to catch up on, and if you just stay home you can get back to work sooner and won't have wiped out everyone who could have helped you who are now stuck at home (or out infecting the mall).

(I know that we only get a limited amount of sick days, and I think it is a travesty. It should be policy to not come to work sick, because then instead of one employee out sick you wind up with ALL your employees out sick, because they keep infecting each other. Just saying, it is time for reform.)

4. we FIGHT THAT ILLNESS! When I get sick the first thing I do is start megadosing on Vitamin C. I really mean MEGAdosing too. I also bundle up, as much as I can stand it, and drink lots of hot liquids (like tea and broth). Raising my temperature seems to help my body burn out the illness, and sweating is a good way to release toxins. Hot showers wash it all away, and I keep my trusty slippers on whenever I am roaming around. Yes, it can be a little uncomfortable to be all bundled up in August, but when I can literally FEEL myself getting better it is so much better than sucking down popsicles to soothe my throat while my head pounds and I shuffle around listlessly between couch and bed. The boys get the same treatment, along with somewhat paranoid monitoring for dehydration. Milt is a little stubborn when it comes to taking care of himself, but he will at least take vit C chewables when I remind him.

So that was a really long-winded way of getting around to my fight the illness kit:

from top left, clockwise:
my teakettle (used to heat water for tea and broth), a comfy not-too-heavy sweater, my cute and comfy slippers, vitamin C chewable, vitamin C energy booster drink powder, and Miso paste for healthy broths.

That's about it; I add varying amount of veggies to the broth, depending how much I feel like 'eating' as opposed to drinking, try to keep my temperature up and take vitamin C as soon as I start to feel tired or congested. Now back to tea-sipping!

happily,
nava

thoughtful thursday: cloth diapers!

2010-08-19T18:40:00.000-07:00

When Asher was still turning cartwheels in my belly Milt and I decided to go the cloth diaper route. We had several reasons for it, but it started when I was about 10 and our dear friend Miz Mac made a comment about how wild it was to realize that her son's poop was being preserved in the landfill. My own mother expressed regret about the amount of diapers she sent along to the dump through her three girl's babyhoods. We also were in Santa Cruz at this time, which led to a lot more awareness of diapering options, and the fact that I am a 'crazy hippie' and wanted to lessen our impact as much as possible. We went with a diaper service until he was about 9 months old, as it was convenient to have the clean diapers dropped off and the dirty ones whisked away, however, the cost was a bit more than we could continue paying and the smell of a week's worth of dirty diapers was a little overwhelming any time we opened the storage closet. Yes, we probably should have had a proper diaper pail, oh well.

I did some online research and decided that bamboo diapers were the way for us! The initial cost for 17 diapers would be recouped within 5 months of not paying for the diaper service, so we ordered them up and said ciao to the diaper people (who were super nice, btw). This worked out well for us, as we had purchased covers from the diaper service to go over the
ir diapers and they fit fine over our soft! adjustable! bamboo! diapers. Plus our apartment complex had heavy-duty washing machines in the laundry rooms, so those diapers got nice and clean!

Then we found out Adin was coming along and, with Asher still in diapers, figured that we needed more diapers. This time we went with a microfiber insert style, as Asher's 'products' were getting sticky and they liked to cling to the bamboo material. yuck. I ordered a bunch off of eBay, and while we like them a lot if I could do it again I would have ponied up the cash to get the real versions with organic materials, blah di blah, I'll have to blame pregnancy daze and a small bank account for that transgression into the world of Chinese knock-offs.

back row, l-r: bamboozle, knock off dipes
front row, l-r: cloth wipes, microfiber insert

Anyhow! The diapers were working out great until: we moved. The diapers started to smell. All the time. When they were drying the exhaust was tinged with ammonia. yuck. My sister commented about how my kids had the strongest-smelling urine EVER, and I should get their kidneys checked. Now, I'm not one to ignore possible illness, but I just didn't get the vibe that it was my boys that were the problem. No, those diapers were staying stinky, and I needed to know why! Also, those soft, soft bamboo diapers were getting crunchy. and stained. Boo! I thought, I guess they only last a year or so! what a waste of money!

Then, during our trip to PR (during which we put the boys in biodegradeable, compostable, relatively non-planet-killing disposables) I looked up the bamboozle website and, voila! The explanation! Turns out our new, high-efficiency washer simply doesn't use enough water to get the diapers clean. ew. Also, many 'brightening' detergents work by depositing a film of light-reflecting chemicals on the fabric, so the fabric looks clean but, in reality, IS NOT. So, every time the diapers got wet the smell of all the old urine was being mixed with the new, resulting in very stinky boys. I was furious! Thankfully, we were on vacation, so it was pretty easy to calm the heck down :)

So we came home and made a few changes. I now clean the diapers with baking soda and a vinegar rinse, and we put them through two cycles. This does not help with water consumption, but until we can get a washer that will actually clean these guys in one wash that's just what we have to do. I also threw all the diapers in the bathtubwith oxyclean, baking soda, and HOT water and soaked them for an hour. I had to do this4 times before the water was not murky and disgusting. How awful, that I was essentially putting my boys back into dirty diapers.

So, what's the takeaway on this?

1. Some people say that having to wash the diapers repeatedly is bad for the environment. They use the same excuse for not using cloth napkins. Fact is, manufacturing paper uses a lot of water too, so even if the water used were equivalent (it isn't, manufacturing paper uses more) with cloth products you aren't filling up a dump, and buying more. planet and wallet both win!

2. My boys have never had a diaper rash from their diapers, (even when they were not getting completely clean) which cannot be said for disposables. The chemicals used to keep those baby bottoms dry in disposables often is very irritating to their skin, or worse, and are toxic, both once they are released into the environment after being thrown away and in those cases when the diaper gets ripped open. (Those little round gel beads? Not good.)

3. We have only ever had one blowout with cloth diapers, and that was due to user error (ours, not the baby's), while with disposable we got blowouts all the time. Now, all babies are shaped differently, so some diapers will 'leak' with some babies, while others won't. Fit is key!

4. Cost, cost, cost. Cloth costs more up front, but by the time your kid is potty-trained the savings over disposables can be enormous. I think we've spent about $600 total on cloth diapers, plus diaper service, so I'll give a high estimate of around $1000. After 3 years of diapers, with two in diapers for two of those years, which would have been in the neighborhood of 10,000 diapers (that's a low estimate; my boys like to use those diapers!) the cost if we were using disposables would have been in the neighborhood of about $2500, and that's if you get diapers on sale, like .25 cents apiece on sale. Plus, to get them cheap you need to buy in bulk, so if your baby has a growth spurt (which they seem really good at doing) you are left with a bunch of 'too small' diapers all of a sudden. (Please donate these! Organizations like emergency shelters, women's shelters, foster homes, and help a mother out help those who cannot afford diapers keep their babies' bottoms diaper-clad.)

5. Waste: with cloth, you are not filling up your local (or not so local) dump. Think about it! One kid = ~5000 diapers thrown away. That's huge! Instead, you can have 20 cute, soft, cloth diapers sitting in a drawer, waiting to be used.

6. (slight) convenience: if you forget to buy more diapers for your kid, and you go to change that bottom in the middle of the night only to reach into an empty bag. CRISIS! Off to the (hopefully open) store you go to buy (hopefully on sale) diapers! If you forget to wash the diapers, well, you've got about a 2-hour wait. We've made due with a hand towel and a diaper cover in those situations. (It took us a whole to remember things like "bring a diaper bag on outings!" yeah. ) Yes, it is easier to just be able to chuck the whole mess in the trash and be done with it, but chucking it into a bag/bucket/whatever and then washing a load at a time isn't that much harder than taking that trash bag out to the curb. Believe me, if we can do this, in an apartment with a laundry room that gets locked at night, then just about anyone can. (If you are reading this post, there is a 99% probability that you can, just based on having internet access, so relative affluence...etc. yanno. )

Ok, well I am suffering through one awful cold so back to bed I go. Going to megadose Vitamin C and hopefully I'll be up-an-at-em in the morning!

happily,
nava

working wednesday: surprise house makeover

2010-08-18T20:33:00.000-07:00

Since the three-wheeled bike is on hold until the wheels come in, I am going ahead with another huge project. See, my Mom is in Hawaii for a couple weeks, and I figured now was a good time to get some home improvement type things done. Why now? Mostly because my Mom is the kind of person who, well, dithers. I don't. Hence, conflict (mostly silent and passive-aggressive) occurs. She's been talking about painting over the (very, very dark burgundy) kitchen/dining/family area for a long, long time, and it needs to happen so they can sell the house. Also, so I don't go crazy, because the dark walls just make the room SO dark, and the light so weird and the clutter so overwhelming that I literally could not stand it anymore. I wound up popping the boys into the stroller and walking down to buy the paint myself. secretly. because I am a ninja. Also, she was out of town for a week.

begone, dark walls! please ignore the mess.

Then I was looking at the brick fireplace and thought to myself "wow, that is really ugly brick." ( I mean, look at it! ug-ly, yeah?) So I told my Dad I had decided to paint the brick white. He was really happy. I remembered halfway through that they may have had several conversations about how much he hates that brick and how much she wants to "no, don't take it, I, um, want it." (Not like, just want, no one knows why.) Oh well! Too late now!

Then, as I am painting away, I thought that perhaps painting the hearth would be a bad idea? Due to flammability? So I was thinking, hey, I could use some of my leftover engine enamel, but then I would have to mask off, well, the entire room. THEN I remembered all the leftover tile from redoing the bathrooms and, eureka! Here is my idea for the layout.

hello, little car! why were you in the fireplace?

Here it is right now, with the tiles in front waiting to be put in place. (also, all the walls have been painted over except behind the fridge and the stove, and I am leaving that wall above the fireplace as an 'accent wall' for now. We'll see.)

mad thinset skillz. maybe.

I've applied the first layer of thinset, I'm going to apply the second layer and tile this evening after the boys are abed, and then I can grout tomorrow. I hope we have grout. hmmm. Oh well, we are visiting friends in Santa Cruz tomorrow, so the worrying can wait! What was it I said last time about planning ahead? oh well!

Some of the best parts of this project have been the using of 'leftovers': a can of paint, a can of primer, and the tiles. awesome! (heehee, the boys are watching Shaun the Sheep on netflix, enthralled. I think I'll join them.)

happily,
nava

tasty tuesday- carrots and squash

2010-08-17T23:30:00.000-07:00

I'm back on the RAW bandwagon, just barely! but more on that later. See, I keep returning to eating RAW because of how much better I feel, but mostly, because of how much worse I feel when I don't eat this way. (Avoiding pain is one great motivator!) It's reminiscent of how yoga has been for me; it has helped my stiffness and joint issues so much, but when I don't do it for a couple days MAN am I in pain. As I told my Dad, "It's amazing how easy it is to get used to feeling bad, I can't believe I used to feel like this all the time and just didn't notice."Well, the downside of taking care of yourself is that when you DON'T you really feel it. ouch! Now that I've been eating RAW the allergies, cold symptoms, sluggishness, muscle pain, fatigue and irritability are so incredibly unacceptable, mostly because I now know what it feels like to not feel those things. WOW.
Ok, on to food.
For breakfast we (the boys and I) had some fruit and then snacked on homemade trailmix throughout the day: dried raisins and blueberries, cashews, almonds, pecans and walnuts. When I can't think of what to eat or just feel 'munchy' this is what I grab.

For lunch I made a raw carrot 'soup', out of:
1 (slightly squishy) tomato
2 carrots
1 onion
1 beautiful golden beet
the juice of a (slightly squishy) lemon
some saltsome pepper

threw it all in my vitamix and blended away until I got this!

a drizzle of evoo, a celery stick, and thou

super tasty!

Now, for dinner I nearly threw in the towel. We have some GF pasta in the cupboard, and I just couldn't figure out dinner. Then I read Sayward's post about vodka sauce, found some mystery squash and started peeling. Then I realised that I did not have the right ingredients for any of the sauces. gah. I was ready to give up again, until I realised, hey, I'm an adult! I can handle this! I got the boys ready, drove to the store, and got what I needed (in this case, sundried tomatoes) and some fruit for the next day. Now, I cringed at the cost of the tomatoes ($3 for a small bag) especially since our favorite grocery has sundried, local, organic tomatoes in bulk, but that is the price I pay for dithering around and not planning ahead!

Anyhow, we got home, I threw the sauce ingredients (along with the leftover carrot soup) in the vitamix (yay!) and in minutes dinner was ready to serve. It was delicious! However, it was really unappetizing in appearance and the light was awful, but here you go.

not nearly as attractive as it was tasty

For actually appetizing photos of RAW pasta go read Sayward's blog, Bonzai Aphrodite, about it. (Can I just say here, she is one of my blogging heroines? Yes indeed, inspirational)
Now we only used about 1/3 of the sauce, and it is delicious, so I need to figure out what to
do with it tomorrow! Also, I really, really need to plan further ahead.

happily,
nava

(im)material monday: random

2010-08-16T23:50:00.000-07:00

Not much of a 'stuff' update today, because our roommate moved out and we moved all the boy's stuff (not beds or clothes) into that room, which is now an AWESOME PLAYROOM, and I am painting the kitchen/dining room/family room, which is currently a deep, deep burgundy, some lovely beige tones.
Now, I love color, but that dark color makes the room, which is the biggest one in the house, like a cave. Plus, my family is peopled with packrats, and clutter+dark rich wall colors = overwhelming. The new colors are much lighter, help take advantage of the great afternoon light in there, and make the clutter much more bearable. Of course, I've been 'packing away' some of that clutter as I go; we'll see what my Mom thinks when she gets back! ;) (She is currently in Hawaii for two weeks, and has no idea I am doing this. She'll be really happy, really annoyed, or both when she gets back. I'm banking on both, as that's just how she is.)
Now I had better get to sleep; half way done!

happily,
nava

follow-up friday: #2

2010-08-13T14:03:00.000-07:00

I'll miss these blue skies.

ok, goal rundown!

stuff:
-still listing patterns on eBay. The whole process takes a stinking long time. I'm listing the rest on Monday, so that my auctions end on Sunday. Apparently that makes it easier to sell?
-getting ready to put my flower essences on Etsy: I'm thinking September 1st, we'll see! Just need some input from my energy-attuned sister :)
-put together 2 bags of clothes to give away, looking for more! I want to be able to fit all our stuff into a U-Haul trailer. My parents did that with 3 kids, so I figure we can too!
-vitamix - I am sad to say I only used it once this week, to make a smoothie, although the good side is that it was because we were eating so many leftovers! So, saved on groceries and food spoilage this week. I am also going to recalculate the 'savings' so far, but let's just hover at that $499 to go mark until then :)
-switched over to Sprint, dealing with all kinds of craziness in the moving from AT&T, keeping phones, keeping numbers, or not, etc. It's been interesting!

health
-got hit with some weird migraine type thing, feel like I have a cold but not quite. Here's hoping for an improvement next week!
-thyroid function seems to be improving, as in less fatigue, not struggling to lose weight, hair is not falling out. good times!

community
-got the low-down for donating milk, just need to find the right 'officials' to sign off. bleh.
-spreading cloth-diapering awareness! Hope it doesn't come across as overbearing ;)
-looking for a new community in (a mysterious new location) by the end of the year! Just figuring out down payment, actually finding a house, Milt transferring/switching jobs, getting in to school up there (he is applying to 4). Involved, but awesome! Whenever I think about it I say "I'm so excited!" at this point people don't even really ask what about, they just nod and smile :)

well, I guess that's it for this week.
happily,
nava

thoughtful thursday: the CSA

2010-08-12T23:00:00.000-07:00

this week's CSA share

We are signed up with Two Small Farms CSA right now; and it's for various reasons.
1) fresh, local, organic produce means the best nutrition for us.
2) supporting local agriculture without paying for the 'middle man' means more income for the farmers and a local economy boost, as well as helping to ensure a continuing source for #1.
3) they actually deliver to our area!
4) the farmers are interesting, genuinely nice people
5) the prices are comparable (sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less) to store prices, both large chain stores and our favorite local market,which I will highlight later on :)

For approximately $20 a week (depending how long the season goes) we get a nice big bag of produce. This week we got corn, tomatoes, potatoes, beets, celery, parsnips, chives, and strawberries. In the past we've also received squash, cucumbers, parsley, onions, fennel, and lots of other tasty things that I can't remember right now. :)

all wrapped up for the fridge

This week we are trying out green bags, to see if they work, as even though I do try to eat through everything before the next week our very generous family often brings in MORE food (food=love with us, what can you do?) so we get spoilage, which is awful. We are hoping these bags give us a few more days to eat through all our goodies. :)

When we move (which I will also write about later) I am planning on putting aside a little of our grocery money each month so we can pay for a CSA share up there (mysterious!) on our own, as this is a big way of voting with our wallets to improve community and health, and with just a little bit of preplanning it is definitely doable. Yes, $700+ dollars at once is a big investment, but if you look at it as saving $50 or so each month during the off season it's a lot easier and definitely worth it. That said, we will shop around, not only for pricing but for reviews by customers, because part of this whole enterprise is having a relationship with the farms you are supporting, and if you don't like the farmers, well, it's kind of silly to hand them your money, right?

ok, well, I had to post this really late due to the most bizarre migraine headache ever, but it's up, it's done, moving on to the next one!

happily,
nava

working wednesday: the 3-wheeled bike part 2

2010-08-11T21:01:00.000-07:00

Here she is, all masked off (and protected from ...exuberant children) after finishing the paint job! Still have to order tires ( I found white-wall tires for a good price), brake lines, and I'm figuring out the seats. I am really, really happy with how this is turning out!
In the background you can see one of my old bikes, a red men's bike that I am fixing up for Milt. I'm thinking maybe blue? In that case, thankfully, the only things needing replacing are the tires and seat, and the tires I should be able to salvage from one of the other bikes around here, as they are the standard size.

hmm, that newspaper seat is quite chic, yes?

happily,
nava

tasty tuesday - mostly an update

2010-08-10T22:02:00.000-07:00

first, a breakdown of my juice fasting: progress
wednesday: am saline flush, 1 c. carrot juice, 2 c. carrot+apple juice, 3 c. peach juice, 3 c. water
thursday: am saline flush, 3 c. peach+pear+celery juice, 5 c. beet+carrot+parsley+celery juice, 3 c. orange juice
friday: am saline flush, tomato+parsley smoothie, gf crackers (yum!), gf challah,
saturday: shabbat! yum food time!
sunday: weekend! still yum food time!
monday: leftovers from the weekend! Really starting to feel bleh.
tuesday: rice and beans

results:
eye color: still becoming more blue, although brown clouding around the iris is becoming more pronounced with the influx of dairy
energy: up in general, starting to slow down after 4 days of cooked food
allergies: nonexistent on raw days, much diminished otherwise
movement: again, beginning to slow down, strange soreness, diminished flexibility

One tasty side effect of the juicing is baby food! I've found that the vitamix 'juice' is just way too pulpy for me (and I like pulp; I would buy the pulpy orange juice! yay fiber!) so I decided to strain the juice with a mesh strainer. Well, the resultant juice was a LOT easier to drink, and the resulting fiber pulp looked remarkably like baby food. So Wednesday Adin got carrot - apple - peach cinnamon oatmeal. yum! I am thinking of making fruit leathers from the pulp too. We'll see!

In general I would say the juice fast was a success, but I am going to stick with eating raw for a while rather than continue juicing for now, just because I was so darn HUNGRY the whole time. This is probably due to still nursing; won't be able to prove or disprove that hypothesis for quite a while though! After eating 'regular' food all weekend I will say I do not feel good. Not sick, just not good, and these foods do not taste good anymore! What a letdown! Even pizza was just 'eh'. Fancy cheese is still delicious though, so at least one thing is still enjoyable as a special treat. :)

Since I'm feeling bleh from so much cooked food, and the CSA share is still 2 days away, I'll just leave this short. Tomorrow I am definitely going back to raw, even if it means eating trail mix all day. need more energy! Plus trail mix is tasty!

happily,
nava

material monday: guitar and patterns

2010-08-09T13:42:00.000-07:00

We had a fantastic weekend! A nice, slow Saturday, and then Sunday we got up very early and went up to Roaring Camp Railroad because:

Mr. Conductor waving at Asher

Thomas the Tank Engine was visiting!!!! I loved Shining Time Station as a kid, and Asher adores all trains, especially Thomas, so it was a HUGE hit. I got the earliest ride I could book, which wound up being the 9:30am, which worked out great because by the time we left the mobs had descended, and the misty morning had turned to blustery, drizzling afternoon. It was so much fun, all these little kids running around having a blast, as did we, as did my parents, who had joined us for the day (the tickets were their birthday gift to the boys). So fun!

Ok, on to stuff.

Last week I went to Goodwill and came home with this!

so pretty!

Here's the story: I was looking for a juicer, and on our way into the store I happened to glance over and saw two guitars in the display case. Seeing that one was a child's guitar I mentioned how I had been looking at them online for when Asher was a bit older, but they were too expensive. We wandered around, I found some really neat stuff (including some awesome patterns, which I will be using ASAP!) but no juicer, so we went to get in line. I decided to just 'take a look' at the guitar, pulled it out, and saw that beyond a few dings, and needing new strings, it was in good shape, BUT, there was no price on it. The other guitar was around $70, so I figured it would be out of my price range, but I asked the cashier about it. She called over her manager, who took the guitar and said she would make a phone call. I wandered off, and in the meantime the manager came back with the guitar, told my Mom the price (she heard "$49.99") slapped a sticker on it and walked away. Which, you know, $49.99 isn't bad for a child's guitar. Then we looked at the sticker she had put on it. $4.99!!!! I got this guitar for $5! It was insane! I'm going to take it to one of our local music stores and see about strings and maybe a case, but wow! $4.99!

Ok, that was a long story. A long, exciting, story. Of how it pays to ask questions!

Second order of business, see this box of patterns?

they look so enticing, I know.

They are going on Ebay today. I hope to have them all sold by next week, and then on to the next batch of stuff to go. Cross my fingers!

happily,
nava

follow-up friday: #1

2010-08-06T18:19:00.000-07:00

getting ready for shabbat, but first...

time for my first friday follow-up!

stuff:
1. vitamix: initial cost: $535; has saved: $35.32; has made: 14 glasses of juice ($28) + 6 servings baby food ($6) + 4c. oat flour ($.32) + yummy mash ($1); only ~$499 left to go! awesome! Although, that means our food costs would have been REALLY high this week. hmmm. I may need to adjust my calculations...or my food budget.
2. sold a book! yay!
3. got an awesome fantastic deal that I will share on monday :)

health:
1. general: energy is UP, movement is up, headaches/joint pain down. irritability also up; not good.
2. weight: dunno, need to put batteries in the scale.
3. went for 4 bike rides this week, 2 long walks, and did yoga every morning and belly dancing almost every day. I can do a pretty awesome chest camel now.
4. I broke my fast at lunch with a smoothie, and since then have snacked a bit. This weekend I'm going to go mostly raw, but not completely, and I'll see how I feel Monday, if I want to do another mini-cleanse. Right now, I'm thinking no, but we'll see.

positive impact:
1. found a Medela breast pump,(brand new!) at the thrift store for a dear friend who is expecting in December. Initial price:$250+. thrift store price: $15!!! Bonus: prevented the purchase of a new item, which was not as awesome any how and would have eventually gone to waste, and freed up the money that would have gone to a new purchase for other baby essentials. (or frivolities, whichever. I think we lose all common sense when it comes to babies. it's just so darn happy!)
2. bmilk collected for donation: 3oz.
interesting note: I cannot collect milk that is supplemented by mother's milk tea. weird!

Right now, I am getting back to my gf mini-challahs. yum.

so cute! and fluffy.

and that's it until Monday!
happily,
nava

thoughtful thursday: donating milk

2010-08-05T23:11:00.000-07:00

Back when Asher was born we wound up in the hospital, where he got an infection and had to spend a week in the NICU. That was where I learned about milk banks, and decided I would donate. Well, a year went by, Asher weaned, and I never donated. Even though I have a fabulous Medela pump, since the lactation consultant helped me get one through MediCal in order to provide the NICU with bottled milk when I couldn't be there.
This was a huge missed opportunity, especially knowing that preemies really need the breastmilk that their mom's bodies simply aren't ready to produce yet. Anyhow, here I am on round two, Adin is still nursing strong and I, thankfully, still have the goods to donate. So I looked up my local milk bank (local is a relative term, I know) and I have started putting aside milk in the freezer for when my blood tests clear and I can donate. I'm thinking a month at a time, as they can use milk that has been frozen up to five months, and that gives me a good amount to drop off at once. Plus, my milk is going to be relatively lower in chemicals (I only eat organic, and I have been a lacto-pescatarian, with the majority of my diet being produce, for over 17 years) and higher in nutrients,which has GOT to be a boost for those babies, right? So what am I waiting for?!?!

happily,
nava

working wednesday: the 3-wheeled bike

2010-08-04T11:41:00.000-07:00

it's day 1 of my cleanse and so far...nothing interesting to report. oh well! :)

I am currently working on restoring this little beauty.

Can you believe there is white paint under all that rust? So far I know I will have to replace the seat, the tubes (if not the wheels!), the brake lines, probably the rear-view mirror, and the paint job. chrome and aqua, maybe? I am going to get lights for this one too. In fact I need to get lights for my other bike (Penelope) as well, so I better get started on that. I am also going to retrofit the basket to hold one of the boys. Trying to figure that one out, but it looks like I'll have a while before I need to worry about that!

To be honest though, I would LOVE a Madsen bucket bike. wow. dare to dream, right? In the meantime, I'm going to save this one from the scrap heap. What should I name her? I am thinking Adelaide, but suggestions are welcome.

happily,
nava

tasty tuesday - jumping in

2010-08-03T23:42:00.000-07:00

On the health front, I've been dabbling in raw food. That is, when I am preparing the meal, generally for myself, it is raw. When others prepare it, it's generally been cooked. Ironically this has happened more often than usual since starting my raw food interests, as we've had visitors galore these past few weeks. Although I did manage to make a group meal of squash 'linguini' with a basil pesto and aside of sesame carrots. YUM!

It's been really awesome, having all these people around, but I've noticed major differences in my health and energy levels when I've eaten cooked versus raw, and I am really liking the effects of raw. Plus, my 'brown' eyes (which I've always called hazel) are changing colors again. Now, I've gotten to a green ring around the outer iris before, with cutting out dairy and consuming lots of water, but this time it's getting some blue in there. I haven't had blue eyes since I was a crawling baby, so this is HUGE.

Clearly I am FULL of toxins (no cracks about my personality, thank you) so I have convinced my mom to go on a cleanse with me. Now, rather than do the Master Cleanse, (I felt this was a little hardcore and perhaps ill-advised as I am still nursing) we will be doing a juice fast aided by a.m. saline flushes and senna tea. To that end I looked and looked and looked for a juicer and then I went to Cost-to-the-co to buy vinegar and... boughtaVitaMix. aaaauuuuuugghghghghg. Honestly I'm still hyperventilating a bit over the cost. I do that whenever I spend over $100 at one time, so you can only imagine the state I am in right now. So, I will be keeping very careful track of that machine's usage and when it has paid for itself,well,I am going to celebrate! I'm not sure how yet. Maybe a cookie? Anyhow, wish me luck on the fast, and I'll update as time marches on! (and saline flushes out? eew)
sorry for the lack of pics! tomorrow, I promise.

happily,
nava

material monday: new lunch box and new project

2010-08-02T22:30:00.000-07:00

As mentioned before, I am trying to limit and decrease the amount of stuff in out lives. I am also trying to increase the quality of the remaining stuff, including upcycling, which is always fun.
This past weekend we hauled out my parent's old tv cabinet (and I mean OLD - this was given to my grandfather in the 1950s) in order to try yet again to sell it in a garage sale.

Well, we had a few nibbles, no bites, (although I did manage to sell my side cabinet; woohoo!) and as I looked it over I suddenly had a flash of inspiration: Play Kitchen! and thus begins another project. :) This is going to be awesome! It also means the current play kitchen is going out the door. yay!

my boys on tv! (That's my Dad's arm, removing the broken handle.)

In other 'stuff' news, I got a shpiffy gift from my mom: a new lunchbox! I've had my eye on these stackable types for a looong, looong time, and could never justify buying one, based on a)lack of space and 2) my bento box collection,but the other day my mom presented me with this lovely number!

I am so excited, and grateful! Now to pack it full of delicious food and go eat! somewhere. hmmm. backyard picnic? This does mean I'm going to pare down my bento collection. at least a little bit. Maybe I'll post about that next Monday!

happily,
-nava

stalking simplicity

2010-07-30T13:04:00.000-07:00

August 1st, being a Sunday, seemed as good a day as any to launch the new 'direction' of this blog; that is, giving it an actual focus, rather than random ramblings, as I have trouble deciding what is 'worth' posting otherwise and then don't post at all.
That focus? Simplifying; doing more with less; reaching for sustainability; eliminating the clutter in our lives (in all areas) and enjoying the journey.

Toward that end we (ok, I) have several goals in different areas.

First is Health! (this is a big one): adjusting our diet to be the healthiest possible. I've started on a Raw Food diet(mostly) and it's been going well. I share with the boys, but until I really have it down I am not having them go raw just yet. Milt is not really ready for raw either, but at least he'll try what I do make! aaaaand then eat a hot dog. :)
With this diet I am hoping to alleviate allergic and autoimmune responses, and so far I have noticed a HUGE difference between eating raw and eating cooked. Of course, I usually eat cheese when I don't eat raw, so I'm sure that is exacerbating the difference. ;)
Another intended effect of this diet change is weight stabilisation. I am 17 lbs above a 'normal' BMI, and it shows. I am 37 lbs above what is normal for me; that is, a fit and healthy size, usually between 6-8 in dress size, which is what I was before my thyroid became weak, sometime between my two pregnancies. (Although, I was a little chubby when I got married; I blame that on access to only really, really crappy food). Still! The health risks, and environmental impact, of maintaining this overweight lifestyle is the opposite of what I want in my life, so I am also focusing more on Exercise!

I finally 'fixed up' my bike (inflated the front tire and tightened the handlebars; wow, I have been lazy!) and am riding almost every day, with Asher in his BoBike mini right up in front. We've both been having a blast, although he is a little big for the mini, so I am looking into getting the BoBike maxi (or something similar) sometime soon. I am also fixing up a three-wheeled bike I found in the backyard, so it will be easier to cart both boys ( or a boy and some stuff? like groceries?) around once that is done. However, it is very, VERY rusted, and I am crossing my fingers that is is still structurally sound. I did discover that the lovely orange frame is actually white underneath. wow. We also go for walks, usually down to the train station (Asher LOVES trains),and I do yoga and belly dancing, which are, and have been, fantastic for my joints. On days that I don't get those two workouts I am really stiff, and it feels so great to get those stretches in that I can get a little resentful if the morning runs away with me before I get to it.

The next area of focus is our STUFF. We want to get our own place (we currently rent a room from my parents; yes, the four of us, one bedroom, although we do have the run of the house, so it's a pretty nice setup) but we are so bogged down with STUFF that I don't want to deal with it! We have about one year to save up a down payment, and in that time I'm getting rid of whatever I possibly can. Our stuff fills out a 2-bedroom apartment pretty well, but it is still just way, way too much. So, anything I can sell is being used to fund a down payment (and to pay down some of our debt), anything I can't is being donated, freecycled, or recycled. I can say that my two big trouble areas are my craft supplies (I have 8 bins of fabric. 8. That's insane.) and stuff for the boys. I have fantastic things for the boys, including montessori materials, but it's getting lost in the deluge of STUFF. Now, I am pretty brutal when stuff comes into the house; if it's plastic or makes electronic noises, I donate it within the week. But if it is wood or natural fibers, well, it gets through and it's getting to be a bit much. I don't want the cleaning of toys (and the arguing about cleaning of toys) to continue eating into our time together. It just isn't worth it. (On that note, know what else isn't worth it? Garage sales. Cragislist FTW! Anything that can't be craigslisted should be freecycled/given away ASAP. Just saying.)

The third area is our community and environment. Milt and I are not 'joiners' but I have been feeling the lack of community now that Asher is getting older and we aren't in Santa Cruz anymore, so we want to plug in somewhere, even if it is temporary. We also want to start making positive changes outside of our home sphere, so we are looking for opportunities to do that as well. Now, some personal things fall into this area:fuel economy, cloth diapers, washing the car on the lawn, but it all fits together into one big picture of how to live the fullest lives possible while making the most impact and leaving the smallest environmental footprint.

So I'll be focusing on these three areas, keeping track and trying to make sense of where we are heading. However it goes, it's going to be amazing.

almost time for a party...

2010-07-15T23:21:00.000-07:00

Summer's been hurtling along, hasn't it? Unbelievable that it's already mid-July. Adin's 1st birthday is Sunday (!!!!!!) and I am, I suppose, in a sort of denial about it, which is why I am totally unprepared for the party. That is, I have a box of *things* for the party, but food? what? I bought a cake mix, as waiting for inspiration to strike is looking less than promising in that department, although really, does a toddler really need cake? or in our children's cases, cupcakes? I have managed to have an argument already with my mother about the gifting; I feel awkward and tacky opening gifts in front of people, she insists we do it. This is also the woman who insisted we add *more* to our wedding registry, so we wound up with a lot of random (awesome! thank you!) things rather than the essentials we had initially picked. Don't know what to do in this case though.
I am at least planning to do his portraits at the beach, rather than with a professional in a studio, because while I love Asher's 1st-year portraits, his 2nd year pic, that I took in the backyard,is more...him... more honest. and gorgeous. I think I can get equally good photos of Adin, being the gregarious little ball of love and destruction that he is.
Plus I despise *having* to pic a certain amount in this size and that size and the other size and alright I'm still mostly peeved about spending that much on graduation announcements and pictures for a very very low return on investment, if you know what I mean, but enough about my issues.
I've been doing a lot of cleaning and rearranging and throwing out and had a massive yard sale while my mother was in Colorado which is why I am sitting in the middle of a huge mess right now with the knowledge that she will be walking in here tomorrow morning hanging over my head so I need to shut this down now and get back to work, which is fine because the battery is almost out of charge anyhow. alright, back to cleaning. or watching psych. whichever. based on this last paragraph what I SHOULD be doing is sleeping. except that sleep is for the childless, amen.

wait, it's almost July?

2010-06-29T17:04:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how long it's been since I posted here. Or anywhere really; even my hand written journal has been neglected. It is truly because of an over-abundance of activity; I just haven't had the time, or the focus, to record much; I keep up with the boy's journals and that's about it! Speaking of the boy's, Adin's 1st birthday is in less than a month; incredible! I am excitedly planning his party, finally mailed out invitations yesterday and today, and I have a few to hand-deliver later this afternoon.
Otherwise my life-direction has been building momentum. With my plans to become a massage therapist and a midwife on the back burner, due to money+time, I came across flower essences, which I've used various times without realising it, and herbalism, which I've been studying on my own since I was about 8 (so, 20years or so? My neighbour had to help me figure out how old I am going to be next month; I thought I was turning 29, apparently I'll only be 28!) Anyhow, so I took the leap and signed up for the Master in Herbalism certification program from the School of Natural Healing, which I am LOVING, and I have immersed myself in flower essences; found a wonderful place called Green Hope Farm and ordered a bunch for my family and have begun making my own as well. What's really helpful in this is that my youngest sister reads/feel/manipulates energies really well, so she is helping me figure out the energy of each essence in addition to the traditional description for each one, and I am hoping our middle sister can use her talent reading auras to give a color signature to each one, for color therapy. This is all very exciting and fun and really wonderful, and I feel as though I am on the 'right track' to the point that I am calm, happy, and still feel like I am careening toward some unknown and very happy point in my future.
Other than that, trying to figure out where we are going to live; the NEW new plan is to wait and see where Milt gets in to pharmacy school, and in the meantime keep trying to win a house somewhere, since as long as our names are on my MIL's mortgage we don't actually qualify to buy our own place (sigh) oh well, things happen for a reason! All right, back to being busy!

ready for the weekend

2010-04-16T18:06:00.000-07:00

Today went relatively well; Milt's alarm didn't go off so instead of waking up at 5am to get to work at 7:30 he woke up at 7:40. oops.
Asher and I went to see his acupuncturist; she and I discussed the possibility that he may actually be sensitive to the electrical current and that is why he'll only sit through about half of the treatment. He is on a new supplement to help seal his gut, and she asked that I swap in almond milk for soy milk for a while. But we love tofu! Love it! Oh well, so goes the healing process.
My Dad stopped in for an hour (instead of the weekend, but hey, that's how he is) and otherwise it's been an uneventful day.
Otherwise I've been reading through Aliza Hausman's blog, I have 3 little GF oat chalah ready and we are just about set for Shabbat, our friend is on his way down for a visit, just need a shower and OOPS I forgot to change the bedding. Ok, gotta go, back after Havdalah!

1st Iyar

2010-04-15T11:25:00.000-07:00

This morning was Asher's first online 'class' through Room613; after technical problems i was a fun, quick class and I think he enjoyed it. Hopefully it starts on time next week, so he doesn't get antsy and wander off again, with ensuing forced sitting, tantrum, and cookie bribe (I know, I know). Still! Fun little class. A few songs, a little activity, listening to little kids try to talk to each other over the internet. Fun times.

Torn between studying Japanese, being more immersed in Judaism, teaching the ids, keeping up with the housework, taking care of my health, and using the internet. I think which one to cut is a no-brainer, don't you? Ok, off for the day, my boys are growing up and I need to enjoy it.

Also, the clothes-washer smells bad. Not a good sign, I'm assuming.

Also, from now on when I can't think of a post title I'll just use the Hebrew date. easy-peasy, yah?

mid-April musings

2010-04-14T16:33:00.000-07:00

The sun has come back again, thankfully, and the rain stopped just short of drowning all the seedlings Asher and I planted a few days ago. I have some more seeds to start, although my hand is being forced a bit as the rain manage to penetrate my seed-storage container and dissolve my packages, so I am going to have a few containers of mystery seedlings soon. The weather is gorgeous, cool, the maple tree is suddenly full of green leaves instead of the reddish feathers it has been sporting for a month now; the apple tree is full of blossoms and bees (hooray! I love bees!) and just a few blossoms remain on the quince tree. Days like these I understand why people move to California, and I am a little tempted to stay, but I know that it is not only unsustainable but undesirable, really, and so we continue to make plans to head north, to a place where we can hopefully establish ourselves and leave a homestead that Asher and Adin (and others? Maybe.) will still be able to call home in 50 years, if they choose.

I cleared out the van yesterday; filled an Ikea bag with stuff. I couldn't believe I had let it get that bad although the majority was baby carriers and sweaters.

Found a gold(?) necklace of my mother's, covered in greenish gunk, from when she found it in her purse on the way to the airport and deposited it in my cupholder. I'm cleaning it with a toothbrush and some baking soda; seems to be working. A peace offering, perhaps, because we went ahead and got another rabbit, a companion for Broderick. Sarah Ferris, a scared little princess, but so sweet. I know she'll be furious when she finds out, but maybe (haha!) she won't notice. Yet another reason to leave; that welcoming animals into our space is such a battle here. Plus I still want to get chickens. Not much point to that if we are moving soon, as I wouldn't want to transport them and it seems silly to get them just to give them away again.

I have a tentative plan, but we'll see. I don't mind waiting a few years to get the land, but I so want to plant trees NOW and begin NOW and I want the boys to grow up with this environment, but I know building it together can have it's own rewards as well.

Asher's vocabulary and verbal skills are exploding; I'm no longer worried about him remaining delayed in that area, and he is almost ready to potty train in earnest. Am I ready? Probably not. Adin likes to make smacking noises with us by sucking in his lower lip; unfortunately he is still very much biting. Not sure how to stop this.

The baking soda isn't working so well after all, and I need to get ready for my phone appointment with Asher's acupuncturist, so off I go. I always want to double that first 'c' in acupuncture; I wonder why?

2010-03-31T19:23:00.000-07:00

Alright, it's the end of March. Time to see what I accomplished in my grand scheme to complete 31 things in 31 days. Let's see:

Read:

1. Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma. Loved it. Reading about Polyface Farm made me want to become a 'grass farmer'; until I remembered that I am a vegetarian, and raising a bunch of animals to not eat would quickly defeat the purpose. Also, I am paranoid about corn now. And I want to go scavenge some mushrooms.
2. Dr. Manifesto for a New Medicine. Also loved this one; gave me a lot of inspiration for things to do, health-wise, and it was ironic to read his ideas for healthcare reform just after the bill passed. I was thinking they should really just have applied that entire chapter, instead. Still, it helped me to become more clear in what I am looking for when it comes to healthcare providers, and what I am willing/not willing to put up with/accept. Good things.

Did:

3. Took Asher to see an acupuncturist. Very, very nice woman; she sat and listened to his whole history and how I just felt he wasn't as healthy as he is supposed to be, even though he is technically healthy, something just seems off. She was very understanding. :) Tried to do a scan, but he freaked out halfway through, so she went ahead and started treatments and began a regimen of supplements for him and the difference is HUGE. He LOOKS healthier to me, already, and Monday night he got something with gluten and the only way we knew was because he got the rash. No meltdowns, no crazy behaviour, nothing else, just the rash. ALSO, that rash is almost healed. These sores have never healed in less than a week, and here we are, 2 days later, and they are already fading. Our next appointment is Monday, and I am SO EXCITED. The only side effect we had was his waking up repeatedly screaming for a couple nights, but that's stopped too. So wonderful.
4. Signed Asher up for an online class with 2-5 year olds; we'll see how he likes it! Now I have to find/buy a webcam. Ugh.
5. Signed us up for a community seder at the synagogue in the next town. Doesn't seem like a big deal, but it required me finding one, getting in the RSVP before the deadline, and having the money available to send in. Huge.
6. Went to the seder! It was really, really fun. Asher at least had a blast, and we wound up chatting with a Moroccan woman who was fantastic. She seemed to like us too :)
7. Had a playdate, at the park, with another mom with 2 kids. Again, doesn't seem like a big deal, but for me, HUGE.
8. Cleaned for Pesach. Also huge. This may count for 5 items on my list, because that was a lot of cleaning. A lot. We have decided we want a tiny house instead.

Made:

9. Yellow curry for the aforementioned seder. I had the tofu separate, in order to keep it Ashkenazi-safe, and totally forgot to fry it beforehand so it was limp and tasteless, but the curry itself was good and now we are eating the leftovers over rice. Because we eat rice during Pesach. also, beans. and such. yum. Side note: I once had a Russian Jew insist to me that she was Sephardi. Because her family ate rice on Passover. I was like "ummmm....not gonna burst your bubble there, sweetie." I, and our (Mizrachi) instructor were really really confused. Okay, side note done!
10-18. 8 mesh produce bags. I used one of those white mesh curtain sets from IKEA; they are really great! No more plastic bags for our produce, no sir! Except that the mesh is polyester, so they are still technically plastic...hmmm. Second side note: I am amazed by how much IKEA stuff is plastic now. It's almost as if there offerings are dividing into super sheap and flimsy or a little above cheap but sturdy. Maybe?
19-25. Copied out patterns from Ottobre magazine. I scanned one sheet (which took a stinking long time, thanks to a poor dying printer/scanner) then went through each scanned image and copied out all of each color in that image, to be pieced together into the actual pattern pieces. It took a really long time, but less time, and more accurate, than hand-tracing, so there you go. Now I should really sew something with them.

Plus all the things I mentioned previously:

26. Asher's apron
27. The bunny sheet
28-29. Baby carrier + baby carrier pattern
30. Asher's journal
31. Chanukah bags
32. Repairing the chairs.

So, yay, 32! Although you could count those 8 produce bags as one item, but I won't. There were so many things I started out working on that I never finished; I would say the majority of completed items on this list were things not even thought of at the beginning. The massive hutch is still in progress, ugh, and is now in the family room, and somehow, despite measuring the space 5 TIMES, it seems the hutch is too big. I do not know how I did that. I'm not sure what to do about it either. It's a bit, well, enormous, unfortunately, and my Mom is NOT going to be happy. Of course, I'm not really happy with it, so there you go.
Okay, on to April! Maybe this month should be UFO month? :)

March Making update

2010-03-15T20:22:00.000-07:00

Halfway through the month, time for an update on my "finishing project".

1. An apron for Asher; he is constantly in the kitchen with me, so I figured I should make him an apron that is more his size; bonus is, he wears it while he's eating too! (This is awesome because he WILL NOT wear a bib. Ever. He would rather starve, while screaming and throwing himself at the floor repeatedly, than wear a bib.)

2. Baby Carrier: love it! Cobbled together from several different patterns and ideas, so I also now have a good, solid

3. Baby Carrier pattern! I love it too. I've put together everything I like from other people's ideas, and made modifications that I really want, and it looks like a good one. I'm going to make up my first one for my friend who is having her 2nd baby next month (!!!) and seeing as her boys will be as far apart as my boys are, she is going to have a lot of use for a carrier like this.

4. Finished updating Asher's 1st year journal. That was emotional and wrenching and so, so sweet.

5-6. 2 Chanukah bags; I've had this fabric for years, and a couple years ago I actually decided what to make from it, but never got around to it. Now I have! I have a stack ready to go, just need to finish assembling the rest.

7. bunny blanket: I assembled a patchwork sheet to put in Broderick's pen; it covers and wraps under the plastic chair mat we got to protect the floor. So far both have been working pretty well; much better than the shower curtain he kept ripping up and shredding.

8. repaired two chairs; both were coming apart, so I squeezed on some wood glue and they are currently drying.

9. My bedroom is ready for Pesach. The reason it is ready for Pesach is because our power got shut off today and all I COULD do was clean. So the bedroom is clean. Next, the bathroom?

In progress are

Rabbit hutch: 50% done; I cut down all the wood, and we started assembling it, but since the stock we bought is narrower than I had planned for I have to make some new cuts. Ugh. My goal is to have this one DONE this week.

Adin's journal updating; this isn't as emotionally hard as Asher's, but it is harder, as I find it's been more difficult to actually remember specific events and times for him. curse of being the second child, I suppose.

Asher's 2nd year now needs to be recorded too. Eeeek.

Vests for my Dad; my Mom commissioned me to make these up for him, 2 cashmere, 2 gabardine. I'm pretty excited, since I get to use the leftover scraps to make vests for the boys. :)

spring quilt; I've had this quilt top ready to be sewn up for a few years now, just pinned together. I finally sewed it together and now I just need to finish making it big enough to cover the ripped side of a comforter. voila, 'new' comforter.

using up all the chametz; I'm halfway through that, although now I have a few trays full of cupcakes that I cannot eat, so Mil and Ann need to eat through them before they go stale. It's a hard job, I know, but someone has to do it.

cleaning for pesach; I've got the cookbooks and one cabinet done. One. Yeesh. I think I need to step it up in this area.

catching up on laundry: my normal routine is one load of diapers, one load of laundry every day. Between being sick and being lazy laundry built up to 12 loads that had to be washed. Now I need to put it all away, but I am also going to purge quite a bit; we do not NEED 12 loads worth of clothing. No sir.

copying patterns from Ottobre magazine. So far I'm halfway through a pair of pants. This work is somewhat tedious, at best, so I'm going to try (again) to use the computer for this. We'll see how that goes.

Other than that I have developed a Ganglian cyst on the underside of my right wrist; I'm assuming from handsawing all the red oak (should have bought poplar! augh! So much less expensive, too) for the bunny hutch. Ouch. However, I will persevere! yes! That's it for the update.

Carry on.

well hello, March

2010-03-05T14:18:00.000-08:00

I have a few goals this month,
1. post up my backlog of posts now that I have a card reader and can
2. actually get my pictures off the memory card and onto a computer. Yay!
3. complete one project for every day of March. 31 projects? Absolutely doable, especially since I have at least that many projects in various stages of completion. Not all of them are crafty; for example, I am trying to 'catch up' on the boy's journals, actually writing the entries into the books rather than in various word files on the computer. Also, the baby's scrapbook only has congratulations cards in it at this point. Yeesh. E's 1st year album is awesome; his next one is still in the plastic wrap.
4. use up all of my chametz before Pesach; only one container of flour left! Woohoo! After that, I'm going to try to ban gluten from the house. We'll see how that goes, since C doesn't like the flavor of GF bread. hmm. I may just have to tell him to man up. and he may just go buy bread on his own instead and keep it at work...hey! problem solved! This is pretty good.

Speaking of C, today is his 26th birthday! I am taking him to see Alice in Wonderland tomorrow evening (yay!) aaaaaaaand.... I got him a bunny. So cute. however, I went looking for a small lop (preferably Holland) light-colored female. Instead I got a HUGE juvenile black male full lop. This bunny is going to be HUGE. We love him though. C kept his name, Broderick, and we added on Baruch, so B.B. for short. Which may be confusing since that's what E calls the baby: "beebee!!!!" We'll see. Ok! So, back to the cake making; I'm also making him Swedish meatballs (and veggie versions for myself, K and E).

Ok, this whole initial thing is getting annoying, so from now on we are doing middle names, and probably short versions of middle names at that. So tonight is Milt's 26th birthday, Ash calls Adin "beebee!!!" and Ann and I are enjoying veggie meatballs. You can call me Vicki. Got that? Awesome. Now I may or may not update other entries to reflect this change. We'll see. I do have 31 projects to finish (2 down, 2 almost done, and a whole pile more to go). I may wind up counting the cake as a finished project. ;)

Now, just because I can, here is Adin enjoying a mouthful of sweet potatoes. Yum!

mmmm Hanukah!

2009-12-17T15:48:00.000-08:00

So we are finishing up the last of our presents: 3 kinds of dark fudge! yum! and frankly I don't care that most of the recipients will be opening them up on Christmas, nope, don't care, you know why? Because I made and gave them these gifts because I like them, and I want them to be happy! That's it! So what if happy for them is a week after happy for me? Right? No pictures of the candy because it's wrapped and I ate the rst and holding a baby while taking pictures of chocolate jsut means I don't havea hand free to stop E from grabbing said chocolate and shoving it into his mouth while he tears down the hallway, so yes. He's been a little wired. As have I. Yay!
We ate all our latkes. and fish tacos. and quesadillas. I never got around to making sufganiyot, because #1 we have run out of cooking oil and #2 if I don't stop eating sugar at some point, as I have been eating it every day since Thanksgiving, I WILL get diabetes, so yeah. I think we're done. There's oil in the yellow curry, I think that will be good enough. Yes!

Also, E needs to stop having access to edibles, as he decided to try drinking a bottle of Birch oil. Hi ER. That was awesome. But! He's fine! A Miracle, definitely. Happy Hanukah!

living slow?

2009-12-10T12:37:00.000-08:00

I very much would like to live a slow year...heck, we almost moved into a bus in August! I still wish we could have made that work, but C is happier driving 2 hours round-trip to work than having a 15-minute commute but having to cross Hwy 17 any day. Oh well. Also, there's just So. Much. Awesome. Stuff. out there. What to do? I'm thinking a Slow Month. Well, a little over. Since we are going to PR on January 17th, I figure if we buy nothing from now until then that should count as a month, and then I'll see about February? Yes, that should do it.
What do I mean by slow month? Well, for right now it means buy nothing aside from groceries, and pay only our recurring bills (car payment, insurance, rent, student loan...wow, we have a lot of payments). I think I'll also cut back on grocery spending again; we get a little crazy in the grocery store occasionally, so that needs to be cut back. Also, we have credit card debt again, so I'll pay that off. February will be a fresh start, and I can reevaluate then. I'm just so inspired by this family: http://frenchtoastfrance.blogspot.com/ and I want to get to that someday soon. I think we can; I think we should. Let's see if we do?
In other news: Latkes are done! Now on to (gluten-free) sufganiyot! Yeah!

side note...

2009-12-08T14:01:00.000-08:00

E does NOT like the traditional 'Happy Birthday' song. First he scowls, and then if you keep singing it he gets more and more upset until he buries his face in his arms. I think it's because it's a minor key? So I need to find some more cheerful birthday songs for next year.

poor baby

2009-12-03T23:02:00.000-08:00

So I have a cold, and L now seems to as well, on top of cutting teeth, and has been MISERABLE for the past few days; crying a lot, barely sleeping, fussing around, not nursing well. It's been great. Finally tonight I could not take the combo of stuffy head, drippy nose and inconsolable baby anymore and... I stuck him in his swing. Rather rudely, at that. Then I went into the next room to stare at the computer, listen to him cry and feel sorry for myself.

He fell asleep instead.

I am a babywearer to the end, but if a little neglect means my kid can actually get some sleep? Then the guilt is worth it. Poor thing.

As a bonus, here's a shot of both boys being considerably happier a couple days ago. You wouldn't think from the rolls that that baby is a lousy nurser, but wow, worst nurser EVER. I write that with all the love in the world:

maybe next year

2009-11-09T22:08:00.000-08:00

yeah, not going to be keeping up with nablopomo, way too much other stuff going on right now, including but not limited to making sure no one in my house is exposed to or exposes my kids to H1N1, which apparently is THE disease for the county right now. Yay! Kids are healthy, I'm healthy, Thanksgiving is coming up, life is good.
I just have to keep telling myself, even if no one is hearing me, life is good.

library

2009-11-05T20:09:00.000-08:00

Thursdays the library in the next town up has a story hour for toddlers at 10am, so for the last month C has been taking E up there. E will sit for a few minutes in the room, and then leaves, which would be unfortunate except for there being a playground right next to the library where all the kids head after story hour. So this week L and I went with them, checked out some books and a video with my new library card and then played on the playground. At first is was just E, and then a little boy who apparently has autism and gets along with E showed up, and then a bunch of other kids. It was nice, and a good break from the insane behaviour E has been exhibiting lately. I don't get it! Mostly it's whenever C is around; probably because C is back at work now after 2 weeks home, so E is adjusting to that, but it sure makes life unpleasant with the random screaming fits. I'm really just writing this to keep up with the writing every day deal, otherwise I wouldn't have written at all, but there you go.
Oh! Cam's older sibling's grandmother got a call from someone claiming that his oldest brother, her grandson, was in prison. In Canada. and needed bail money. riiiiiight. Last month someone called my grandmother at 2am claiming to be a coyote who had her people and demanded money. She told him off because, excuse me? Our Mexican relatives don't cross illegally, thanks. Interesting scam though. That's it for today.

what happened

2009-11-04T23:05:00.000-08:00

On Sunday night someone very close to me decided to overdose on pills rather than face a huge mess she had created over the course of a year. She is fine, and while I am somewhat numb to what happened due to my experience with other people's suicide attempts in the past it threw everyone else in the house upside down for a while. Now that we are recovering from the trauma of what she did that night they are working through the things that were exposed and figuring out where they stand with her now that they are hearing the truth.
The thing is, if she had just been honest all along, everything would have been avoided. The anger, the jealousy, the emotional devastation, and the attempt to run away from it with pills. Yet at the same time I don't think she has learned anything. I've said it often; she "doesn't have learning experiences." That's the truly sad part; that those of us who love her can do nothing but watch her 'get away with' more and more while self-destructing. What then?

peacekeeping

2009-11-02T21:47:00.000-08:00

is very time-consuming. I think I'm done; we'll see if the drama is any less tomorrow. :(

day 1

2009-11-01T22:42:00.001-08:00

Today was really interesting. And then DRAMA HIT EVERYBODY. The end.

pause to reflect

2009-10-27T22:50:00.001-07:00

I read a lot of blogs; amazing blogs, funny ones, introspective, thought-provoking. The majority of the writers have 2+ children, and manage to write quite frequently. How? I barely manage to finish my laundry on a given day, and forget managing a shower regularly! I am overwhelmed, still, and I truly would love to know how other people just manage, because I can't seem to.

Also, how to decide what to write about? I've asked this before, why do people write, why record? What do we pass on, and why? How permanent, how impermanent, important, unimportant. I get stuck, I stop, I wonder "why?" or "should I?" I just don't know. But I do know that maybe someday one of my children will want some idea of what life was like for me, and I would like to give them more than the hazy "well, I don't know. I worked/took care of you/ ate pancakes/whatever" that are most recollections. Silly? Yes. But I want to give my kids everything else, so why not this?

I harvested from the quince tree out back yesterday; I managed to get about 2/3 of the fruit that was still good with E's help; there is a bit left on the tree but L woke up so E and I packed up our big bag full of fruit and went inside to cuddle with the baby. I had wanted to make membrillo, but I don't have suitable containers for it, so instead we bought jars at the store today while we were out and I am going to try to make jelly tomorrow. I may wind up making jam if I don't find any strainers. Whatever! At least the fruit isn't going to rot on the ground again this year, so success!

C brought my bike from Antioch, and I am going to reattach the child seat and take E for bike rides again; at least, I will try. I had no idea how heavy that bike would be when I ordered it; wow! Kat's child seat is still around (20 years!) So I am going to attach that to one of the other bikes around here and inform C that he now has a bike. :) There is also a three-wheeler out back that I would LOVE to fix up; then I could wheel both boys around. When we move to a community that we love I plan to use it to run errands; I'm really excited, making plans again, thinking about what places are out there for us. I know we'll wind up in the right spot, I just wonder where it will be, and I know that it is not here. At least I'm starting to feel at peace about it all again, and comfortable just trusting that G-d will work it all out; again, as always. I'm just so good at worrying that sometimes I forget that I don't need to.

I'm getting back into sewing/crafting, and I have some ideas for what I want to do to 'make money'; really, it's more of an outlet for my need to create and design, and if people like it and want to pay for it then so much the better, but I am not going to let other people talk me into charging 'what hte market can bear'. I ask for enough to cover my expenses and make it worht my time, that's it! I don't see the need to take whatever I can from other people. I'm working on letting go; we have so much I feel like I am swimming in stuff; our stuff, my parent's stuff, my grandmother's stuff. I'm slowly packing up their stuff while I unpack and pare down my own, but I am just so hedged in at this point that I must get rid of as much as possible just to be able to relax. and yet! Every day it is easier to give away something more. Just a little bit at a time, bags of food, boxes of things, piles of clothes, all going, all hopefully making some other lives easier. Not happier, stuff doesn't make you happier. I think having your needs met just frees you to enjoy your actual LIFE, and that is what makes you happy, not the stuff in it. Yes? Something along those lines. I don't like how I phrased that but it is past 11pm and I really should be getting to bed. ah, insomnia, my old friend. :)

Everything is getting better; E is a stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, affectionate, stubborn little boy, and L is one demanding, teasing, sweet little baby, and every day they get a little older, things get a little easier (even when I can't see that in the moment) and I breathe a little easier while missing their babyhood just a little more. slowly, slowly, slowly. I have a few things I need to complete, but that will be done by the time we head to Puerto Rico, and then I can let go of that chapter of my life completely; focus on something new. In the meantime, I really do just need to breathe. good night.

on recording

2009-10-01T23:07:00.000-07:00

Often when I think of bringing a camera with me, or ordering prints, or placing those prints into albums, or even just sharing images online, I hesitate with a why?
why record these moments? why record any moments?
In essence I feel just a bit like I'm trying to immortalise seomthing that cannot be immortalised. we are so transient, our children's childhoods so extremely fleeting, and even one generation removed can't really understand or relive those captured moments. So why do it?
If only for myself, I suppose, it's worth it. At least, that's how I justify adding to the ephemera in our lives. Because I cry while taking in my precious seconds of baby softness and toddler passions, and I know every moment that this will be gone and I will never, ever recapture it. no matter how many photos I take.
But I will take those photos anyhow.

Happy birthday, little love. I already miss you as you were, even though I love you as you are.

some fun

2009-07-07T23:35:00.000-07:00

We went to my parent's house a couple weeks ago, and E got to scavenge for plums and play in the sprinkler. He was one happy, happy kid.

note to self:

2009-07-07T23:31:00.000-07:00

stop giving E anything caffeinated. It's only hilarious for the first 2 hours of crazy, then it's just dangerous (for everyone else in the room). Holy moly.

On a related note: stop with the chocolate already. danger! danger!

update

2009-06-27T18:43:00.000-07:00

I keep reading all these posts apologising for not posting too often. I think I win as far as not posting very often. So here's a rundown of what I've been up to:

Graduated (sort of. not discussing the sort of part right now) and the ceremony was really fun. Had a vegetarian bbq afterward, everyone loved it.

I have help staying with me. I think it is more stressful than not having help. We'll see. May just be the hormones.

Speaking of, I am very hormonal right now. It sucks. I don't know how other people deal with it. I am hoping when this kid comes out it will take these hormones with it, because I do not want them.

Building on the house is now over a month behind schedule. But! We have flooring ready to go.

Got a speeding ticket. Damn it.

DMV can't find there behinds with their own hands, and claim we still owe them money. They are wrong, and we have a receipt to prove it. Monday should be fun.

Trying to choose a Mohel. fun. No idea what one costs, and we probably can't really afford one anyway.

Being pressured to buy a car. I really, really don't have time to shop for a car. Meanwhile our car needed new brake pads, and since I am round and incapable and C is inexperienced it got stupid expensive. Not happy.

I have a pizza. yay!

I'm...done?

2009-06-06T07:05:00.000-07:00

Friday was my last written final, ever. Unless I decide to go back to school, but I am not sure grad school had finals and community college is not currently on my list of places to return. I'm slightly relieved, but more anxious, because I KNOW I did horribly on it. I have to turn in a paper by Wednesday (not a problem) and perform a skit that same afternoon (also not a problem) and that skit is the only thing that can possibly save me from failing. I don't actually know if it can, but I am hoping really, really, really hard.
Other than that, we are officially living paycheck to paycheck, with supplemental bill-paying from savings, and I am actually ok with that. Yes, the economy sucks, but C has a job, which already makes us better off than a lot of people, and he still has options that could be even better, so I'm pretty relaxed on that front.
E apparently is lactose-intolerant, since he has been a screamy, tantrum-filled and gassy little man ever since this past weekend, when we gave him cheese again for the first time in months, and then compounded the problem by going to costco and buying more. We now have about 3 pounds of cheese and neither of us want to it it. E still does, as I have passed on not only my intolerance of the stuff but also my uncontrollable passion for it. Poor kid. Poor us. No more cheese. I tell myself this all the time, and then I go and buy more. *sigh*
My sister moves in on Monday! I am so excited! Really, truly. Even if all it means is that I can get in a second nap each day while he runs around outside, supervised, it will be heavenly. She is super helpful though, so I know it'll be nice.
That is all.

May resolution

2009-05-05T15:56:00.000-07:00

My may resolution is to Breathe and Budget.
I've been giving myself far too much stress over things; our finances, my grades, more finances, our future, imaginary spiders, etc when I shouldn't be. We are fine. We are more than fine. We are great. Everything just works out for us; it always has and I need to keep trusting that it will. Not that we throw caution to the wind and blow paychecks on nights out, but I just need to relax. When I do and actually give myself little spots of time to work I feel so much clearer and happier. I've been productive and actually felt as though I am accomplishing things lately, and I need to enjoy the moment. Speaking of the moment, E is laying his head on my leg and kissing my knee. I think it's time for some focused cuddling with my son. ciao!

gardening and writing

2009-05-05T15:21:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I commented to C that I wanted to clear out our lot in the community garden and plant some veggies this year. Which really means I wanted him to clear it out, since my belly +stooping+ chicken wire +toddler bent on destruction would not have been a good combination. He said that we should just spend this year planning and working on the beds at the new house and not worry about. So of course a few days later I planted a bunch of seeds in little gathered pots and put them on the sill. E threw 3 of them onto the floor (goodbye tomatoes, eggplant, and mystery pot that he ate the label from!) but quite a few have sprouted since he lost interest. Corn was the first, then basil (planted specifically for C; he LOVES pesto) and squash. The other day we were driving home and noticed that the UCSC plant sale was still going; with the miserable weather we're having suddenly I doubted they had much business, so we stopped and took a look. I bought 4 plants: eggplant, potato, summer squash and zucchini (C. LOVES zucchini). When we got home, around 7, I looked up info on the plant sale and found it was only supposed to run until 2pm. We were lucky that the rain had kept away the crowds, or they would have packed up hours earlier! Now I'm just waiting for the sun to come out long enough to actually clear the garden and get these plants into the ground. They should all be harvestable by mid-July, so I'm not worried about leaving producing plants behind, but eve if a few are still going when we leave I have a few neighbours who I am sure would welcome some productive additions to their own garden plots. :)
As for the writing; on 4/20 UC administrators tried to threaten me with arrest for selling water to stoners. Long story. I've finally finished the letter that I've been working on since I got home that day. While I didn't know I was doing anything wrong at the time, my problem is not that I was reprimanded; I do recognise that regulations need to be enforced. However, it was the way the incident was handled that saddened and angered me, so I put my thoughts into a letter that I'll be sending to Pres. Yudof, Chancellor Blumenthal, and whatever interested print media will publish it. I'll post it here too once I've had someone who is a little less biased read it over as well. I would hate to have my message undermined by sloppy or obscure writing. I feel like a weight is off of me now; so now I'm off to protest rent hikes, budget mismanagement and teacher layoffs. Regular hotbed of activity over here!

the bento is back

2009-04-26T16:51:00.000-07:00

Ha! So! I made dinner! Tasty, tasty sushi rolls, with cream cheese, sesame seeds, omelet, pickled beets and raw zucchini (which all this time I thought were cucumbers. Since they were supposed to be cucumbers). So, so good. Now I'm just waiting for C to get home. In about an 1.5 hours. I went ahead and packed him a bento for tomorrow, because nothing motivates me to get in the kitchen like having a paper due two days ago and a kanji test tomorrow. Yes! I also cleaned the kitchen and put away all of E's diapers. I am also knitting a hat. Also probably the matching booties. Yet, I have managed to write more on this paper this weekend than I managed all last week. I am just that awesome. Pretty bento! Yay! I'm also giving him a banana, because I really doubt this will get him through an 8-hour day.

I also spent $100+ on maternity clothes, because I finally admitted there is no way I am going to have the energy to make them before I need them.

stress relief

2009-04-12T23:43:00.000-07:00

I spend way WAY too much time reading blogs, but, you know what? It's relaxing. It's my way to disconnect from all the crazy in my life and just enjoy reading snippets for a bit. I don't play video games and I don't watch movies (at least, not in one sitting. If I can't sit through a tv show, a movie is out of the question), and until I can get back to actually making things (which I find a LOT more relaxing; and fulfilling) I'm just going to keep on reading my blogs, except now without guilt. And when Bloglines is empty and no one updates within 5 minutes, I am going to keep on finding NEW blogs to read. Yes indeedy do.
On a somewhat related (at least in my mind) note, my MIL always laughs when I finish our conversations with "okie dokie!" I wonder why that is? :)
On a sad note, Malta is not celiac friendly. Which is very sad, especially since I am having ot face the fact that I might actually be the source of E's celiac issues. But for right now, I have a case of malta and a box of matzah to get through, and when those are gone we are all completely gluten-free, so until then, bottom's up! *glug-glug-glug*
oooh, I should really take my vitamins. I am so darn healthy.

Passover!

2009-04-11T18:00:00.000-07:00

That was fun! Not only are we now gluten-free (although we have two really big boxes to food to give away that we didn't manage before Pesach) but I really enjoyed myself this year. K joined me for a seder down at Chabad, and C stayed home with E. Apparently that was the worst night for E's cold, unfortunately, but I got the night off, so, yay! Anyhow, this being my first sober seder I forgot how long it took to get the the food. K was drunk after the first glass and going a little nuts; it was hilarious. Sarah was visiting, I am so glad! I miss her when she goes back to NY; I am hoping to convince her to come back in July to see the babies (mine and DL's). That should be enough incentive, no?
Got a lot of news this afternoon; loft construction begins 4/20; a cousin is due with her first baby a month after me; MIL and BIL are both getting 40 hours a week at work (yay!); SIL is interviewing for Principal (we all really REALLY hope she gets it) and if she does they will be moving closer to the house. Classes are going well, and I am getting over this newest cold very quickly. All in all, a very good few days. Right now I am cooking up Karina's Moroccan Coconut & Chickpea Soup, and so far it is DELICIOUS. C should be on his way home from work, and then it's suppertime. YUM.

celiac obsessiveness

2009-04-04T17:38:00.000-07:00

Wow, so, rather than spend my day studying (I will later!) I took E to a playgroup and then started researching celiac disease. Frankly, I feel vindicated. The sudden mood changes, dark under-eye circles and stunted growth were what initially made me wonder, but when we decided to take him off of wheat again even after the allergy tests came back negative we had a rough bit (which we are still going through) which made me question myself. After all, his rash cleared up after giving him wheat again, and came back after cutting it out again. Now I find that celiac is linked to a type of dermatitis, and it looks EXACTLY like what he had (he is currently almost completely cleared up, without drugs or a return to wheat). The sudden mood deterioration of this past week along with digestive problems? A common result of the body trying to heal itself. The more the initial damage, the more dramatic the seeming relapses, but really it's just the body clearing out stuff that it wasn't dealing with beforehand and finding a new balance. The more I learn the more confident I am that we made the right decision. Now I'm wondering, should I cut out oats too? Hmmmmm. Should I wait for this seeming lactose-intolerance to go away (as it may be a side-effect of the celiac) or just take him off of dairy too? Should I calm down? Maybe. However, I know that there is still something going on, and trusting my gut last time has removed a major source of pain from my son's diet, so I think that I'll jsut keep doing what I'm doing. After all, a healthy, happy life is the most I can give him, so why not give him the best I can?

April resolution

2009-04-02T15:37:00.000-07:00

Yay, time for another resolution! I don't remember if I made one for March, which means if I did I sure didn't stick with it. I'll go back and check later. perhaps.
Soooo this month. hmmm. I think this month my resolution will be to get my head on straight. I've been loopy, and not in a good way, and getting loopier. I know a lot of it is hormones and stress and blah blah blahdiblah. Still; I need to get control over my reactions (or rather, overreactions) before things get bad. So! A couple of steps to this, I suppose.
1) diet: we're working on this already. I say this after chugging down a Malta, but hey, it's my only vice. It's my only vice because we don't have any sweets in the house, otherwise I would probably be giving in to my cravings for MILKSHAKES. NEED A MILKSHAKE.
2)vitamins and supplements: I really really need to take my vitamins every single day. So far I've managed 3 days in a row. woohoo! I'm also adding in Blessed Thistle for my crazies and Capsicum because I am just so cold and tired all the time. ugh.
3)find a more productive outlet for my mood swings than rage, loathing or self-pity. This will probably involve actually talking about my issues with another person. I am very very bad at this. I always feel like I'm being annoying when I complain, but keeping it all in is not good for anyone around here.
4)exercise: yay wii fit! I also managed to get us out on a long walk last week; I'll see if I can manage that again this week. Maybe tomorrow morning? I can use it as an excuse to 'try out the new stroller'. yes.

Other things:
Stop stressing about the House. I'm freaking out because I feel like we're no longer welcome there and I wonder if it's all a huge mistake and augh augh stress cry obsess. It's probably all in my head, but even if it isn't, we (and yes, it has to be 'we') need to be proactive on this and figure things out rather than freaking out (me) or sort-of complain to nobody (him)
Clean the apartment, because it is making me crazy. Seriously. I cry when I'm faced with the mess and, honestly, it's not even that bad! This is another area where I need to communicate my needs, since at this point a clean home IS a need, rather than freak out by myself over the fact that I just vaccummed why is there stuff on the floor laundry augh dirty bowl in the sink!!!!! Not really productive.
On top of that I need to keep on top of school. That's pretty much a given; even when I was really sick and exhausted and sad last quarter I kept up with all my assignments; it's not something I just give up on, ever, especially with the goal in sight (yay graduation! Pictures cost how much?) so I'll just keep on keepin on in that arena. Ok, now I'm going to go take my vitamins, clean, and study a bit. Oh and change E's diaper. This kid REEKS.

mmm lunch

2009-03-31T11:08:00.000-07:00

Our plan to change our family's eating habits is going pretty well. I planned out a menu for this week and C bought the groceries needed for it. At some point I will plan out the rest of the month as well. Oh, and study. hahahaa. Alright, I'll try to plan out the rest of the month, but menu planning is HARD when one's appetite is erratic (hooray pregnancy), one only wants CHEE (cheese) or CRACKA (granola bar/cracker/banana/cheese), and the third will eat 'whatever'. :)
However! We are trying and doing pretty well. Yesterday C made a delicious salad and some fried potatoes and, shockingly, the potatoes were completely upstaged by the salad. Wow. We also discovered C likes kale (he was feeling adventurous at the grocery store and picked some up. It's much better than him picking up other random foods, like cookies), which is great! As for today, well, I had plans for lunch and dinner but I chose both recipes out of the book C is currently reading, and which is at work with him, so lunch today is salad as well! Dinner will be sushi, so that's easy, just took some rearranging of the menu. I'm so flexible like that. ok, I'm actually just really hungry like that.
We're also eating down all of our 'junk food', which in our case means crackers, cheese and a box of Pocky I got as a surprise for C. Can you believe that? Our junk food is crackers? Weird. C also picked up a package of pita because the book recommended them and he forgot about Pesach. It's cool though, we've been using it to eat through the random tub of hummus we have. Once Pesach is over we will also be a gluten-free household. That's going to be huge, especially since last night the only thing I wanted was crackers. (Which I ate. yum.) So I need to get on the ball with finding alternatives that are not only gluten-free but healthy. Nothing like choosing the right time for a major life change! Like, right before 2 others! At the beginning of my final quarter! Awesome! At least we know we can survive on cut veggies if we both get to overwhelmed to actually cook anything. E will adjust.

In E news (not E!News) he is doing better still, except he looks like a prize fighter now because he fell off a trike into a grate, and then face-first into stairs at the playground. Poor kid has bruises all over his face, a slight black eye and what looks like a scraped chin but is actually a horrible bruise. Today C made a crack about CPS showing up and I said that no, they wouldn't, because both incidents occurred in front of witnesses. Nothing raises your parenting cred like having your kid bust his face right in front of you while other parents are standing nearby. Lord knows what his face will look like when we are actually distracted by the new baby. yeesh. Oh, and my sister thinks he swallowed a pen cap a few days ago, which would explain his complete outrage at any bms lately. We're waiting to see on that one. woohooo. Alright! Nap time!

calm before the headlong rush to June

2009-03-28T14:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we went back up to the house, unloaded a whole bunch of stuff, enjoyed a lovely lunch at Mountain Mike's, got the car smogged ($$) and bought paint for E's room. C started taking down the horribly installed crown molding and I started painting the closet, none of which I photographed. That's ok! It was a really, really good day.
The main wonderful part was the E was HAPPY. He was calm, he was playful, he was wonderful. It's like we have our baby back again. It also confirms our suspicions that he has celiac disease, as after the allergy tests confirmed he does not have a wheat allergy we started giving him bread again and he turned into a hissing, screaming, angry, hysterical little monster. No, I'm not exaggerating; he was horrible. I decided enough is enough and we stopped giving him anything with wheat on Wednesday. That day he managed to get a cookie from somewhere, but was still much improved; by Friday he was a joy to be around, again.
Because of this we are going gluten-free, especially since based on C's own health history we both are starting to suspect that he also has celiac disease, and looking at his family we think there may be a few more suffers in there. My first instinct is to rush in and start cooking for everyone BUT one person at a time. C also started reading Dr. Fuhrman's 'Disease Proof Your Child' and is excited to start improving our health for E's sake.
It's great; I feel like we are really getting on the same page food-wise now, and we've already agreed that occasional lapses are not only ok, but need to be scheduled in (i.e., pizza; C's occasional chicken cravings, our familial cheese addiction). So now I am trying to get rid of anything with gluten in the house. It looks like I will be baking a lot of gift cookies :) Oh, and we also just bought matzah. Yay, guess I know what I'll be snacking on for the next month; good thing we have hummus!

In other news, baby went from measuring 2 weeks behind to 2 weeks ahead. Even though I have not gained a pound since my first appt. at 8 weeks this kiddo is growing just fine, so that's a nice reassurance that I'm doing well nutritionally. Also, this week I have had 4 different people ask me if I was going to find out the gender and then try to convince me it's a good idea. I don't even know these people; it's not like they would get the share in the news; weird! I'm going to go play with my son now, before classes start up again (Monday! Augh!)

it comes as no surprise...

2009-03-26T16:52:00.000-07:00

...that occasionally, things just suck when you are pregnant. By 'you' I mean me and my stupid melodrama-enhanced issues. Everything I do, or rather, try to do, these days just winds up frustrating me. Example: today!
We are planning to go up to the new house tomorrow, so we were going to borrow the van and pack it full of stuff. Well, we can't 'borrow' the van; my mom is willing to bring it over and go with us and take the van back home afterward. Cool! Works for us! Except it HASN'T. She was supposed to come this morning, so C could help load it before he had to work. Instead, she decided she wants to bring my sister K to help out. Ok, fine. Except K has an appointment tomorrow that she has to reschedule instead. So I spent ALL DAY sitting around, waiting to find out what the plans were NOW, so I could re-plan my own day. I was supposed to go to the store with DL to get paint. I was supposed to go to the grocery store and get food. I was supposed to have a somewhat relaxed day with my Mom deciding what to pack up. Instead, I finally head out alone with E late in the afternoon to run errands. We got as far as the paint store. I did not get paint. I instead got a full-on toddler meltdown because he wanted, ughh, I don't even KNOW. My best guess is he wanted to play in the parking lot. Tough, kid. Back in the car, back home, I get a message that they want to come in the morning instead. UM. Cue sobbing. I had PLANS, people, and not just plans for today, which have all gone to hell, I had plans for TOMORROW, which included picking up the new stroller and painting E's room and getting the car smogged because we HAVE to plus I NEED TO STUDY and damn it all tomorrow is just going to suck too. It just is, as much as they say 'oh, you won't have to load anything' moving is not just loading and unloading, and I know that now not even half of what we were going to do is going to get done and I'm just disappointed and emotional and there is nothing I can do about it GAH.
Also I can't post any pictures I have because they are all on my external which has decided not to turn on anymore. GAH.
Also C keeps trying to buy bread products. Passover! a week or so away! I do not want to eat any more bagels right now thanks!
Also E is being a PIA and even though he is much better now that we, again, took him off of wheat, I am tired of dealing with it just go to bed or something for the love of all that is holy.
Ok, I think I'm going to go feel sorry for myself some more while worrying about the effects of my tantrums on the emotional makeup of my unborn child. Fun. Times.

bedtime?

2009-03-13T10:45:00.000-07:00

reason why C should, perhaps, NOT be reading the bedtime book:
adding explosions to the end of each page doesn't exactly add a 'calming atmosphere' to the event. It DOES add hysterical giggling (from C) and confusion (from E).
...
"It's midnight. Do you know where you child is?"
Yes, I do. He's kicking my face.

birthdays and cookies

2009-03-05T16:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday E turned 18 months. As he gets older these month markers aren't as dramatic, but this one, now that he's officially "a year and a half" I've been looking forward to. He's close enough to the 'terrible twos' that his tantrums and acting out just look normal to other parents (not that we are encouraging them); it's nice not to have to say "he's very advanced" all the time. He can be lumped together with the older kids and no one bats an eyelash, and it is wonderful. I miss my little baby sometimes, but this kid is so wacky and fun, and honestly sometimes it's hard to remember the tiny baby, so I'm hanging on to these moments while I can.

C's birthday is today; 25! Yay! I got him 'Cowbell Hero' and 'I need more Cowbell' t-shirts. Part of it was because he LOVES that SNL skit, and part of it is because he was driving me crazy with it during my crankiest and he was nice enough to STOP. MENTIONING. COWBELLS. at the time, so this was a combined apology/thank you/happy birthday gift. I'm just so good at multipurposing things that way.

I'm hosting a little dinner in his honor on Sunday, and today, hopefully, I will make a TON of hamentaschen. I'm so excited; it's the first time I'm making them completely on my own, and I am looking forward to good things. I'm also glad I can make a batch for E that is gluten-free, so he can join in the yummy fun too, especially as we will be having a very sober Purim this year. Next year? Alcoholic hamentaschen. Oh yes.

getting there

2009-03-01T09:04:00.000-08:00

We signed the closing papers on the house Friday! Yay! While it isn't where we plan to wind up, it's a nice house in a nice neighborhood. Now on to phase two: remodeling! The front room is two stories, so we are going to put in a loft. By 'we' I mean V (MIL) is going to find a contractor to do it, since I am too baby-full and time-crunched to actually do anything construction oriented at this point and C, well, C just plain isn't interested. But! There are plenty of things we will be doing. Once we relocate the closet in our new room (the current closet has to be removed to give access to the loft) we will paint and lay in new flooring. Currently the entire upstairs is carpeted, and I refuse to deal with wall-to-wall carpeting anymore. I REALLY don't get the appeal in that. Anyhow! E's room is getting painted by the end of this month, and I hope to start on the yard as well. One side yard is going to be raised beds. The other side is currently filled with Jasmine; we're going to tear out about 1/2 of it, install some other vines (I'm thinking raspberries, maybe some grapes, depending on the soil/drainage conditions) and hopefully clear space for a little play house). M&J (SIL & BIL) are moving and giving us their play structure, so that will take about half the lawn area, and that leaves a nice amount of lawn and some mystery fruit trees. I'm pretty sure they are apples, but I couldn't tell when I saw them as there weren't any leaves yet. The front yard has a swath of rosemary I'm trying to save, since it is filled with bees (I love bees!) and V & M both want to tear it out BECAUSE of the bees. No! We need bees!

Anyhow, those are the plans for now. In the meantime I need to get back to actually passing my classes. This month has been rough, with the 3-week cold from hell which I followed up by giving everyone food poisoning. Awesome. Baby is doing well, at least, although starting to slow down in growth, which pushes my due date back. Which we expected to happen, so yeah. Kiddo is looking right on schedule for me; that is, late! E is watching the Incredibles, so I better finish writing that paper. That really pointless paper for the worst class I have ever taken. What a way to wind up my college career, right?