Just read a blog update from a girl (woman, now) I knew back in summer camp. She is currently serving a medical mission aboard the Comfort, just spent several months in Kenya, and got her pilot's license. I am frankly envious. I am envious because she is doing amazing things and helping people. Me? I look back at what I could have done with my life, before I had kids, and what did I contribute? Not a whole lot. Do I regret having kids, do I think that they have taken away my freedom to live my dreams? No! Not even a little! Here's the thing: I was a legal adult for 7 years before becoming a parent. Seven! How much could I have, should I have done with that? Even if I had stopped whatever it was before marriage that's still 5 years. What was I doing? Drifting. I studied a little Tae Kwon Do, did some schooling, served as a camp counselor but I really didn't DO anything. I didn't pursue a single one of my ambitions. Why? Fear. I let fear from a car accident excuse me putting off learning to drive or fly; I let fear of social interactions get in the way of opportunity; I let fear of failure excuse my not extending myself, and worst of all I let fear of losing affection excuse never going after what I wanted, because I knew what I had wouldn't be waiting when I returned. I should have gone for it. At least I can be an example to my kids. At least I can work now, to make a difference now. I plan to. I will.
-nava
06 June, 2011
04 June, 2011
Oregon spring
I called the boys over excitedly to watch the wind swirl yellow clouds of pollen from the enormous pines overhanging our fence. First a gust one way, then the yellow billowed the other way to catch on the neighbour's trees, as if it had been aimed. In my mind I am trying to convince myself that I'll be fine, that those yellow clouds won't affect me at all. My histamines apparently did not believe a word of it. Two loratadine later, I am wondering how exactly being unconscious is going to play into my first summer here.
It was a gorgeous day, and we even had the boys outside, despite still being sick, because this weather is making them feel better. Here's hoping tomorrow brings more, in both amazing weather and recovery.
happily, -nava
It was a gorgeous day, and we even had the boys outside, despite still being sick, because this weather is making them feel better. Here's hoping tomorrow brings more, in both amazing weather and recovery.
happily, -nava
02 June, 2011
ABBA was right
I remember the first tim I heard ABBA's 'Money, money, money', sitting in a rental car with my Dad. He laughed a little, sighed, and said "it would be." I didn't grow up oblivious to money; I knew things cost money, and that we didn't have any to spare. I was never worried about money though. Now, I am becoming borderline obsessed, and it is unpleasant. Yes, I need to be aware of how much is coming in and how much is going out, but triple-checking the numbers every day isn't going to change the fact that we will have $1 after bills this pay period, and that we would have been $52 short of paying bills next pay period. So I had to let go, stop freaking out, and wait. Then Milt got holiday pay for Memorial Day, and out of nowhere the rebbitzin mentioned she needed some sewing done. We are ok, again, for this month. Every single time, we are ok, and all I can do is say Thank You. And try, so very hard, to keep trusting. Also, etsy needs to start bringing in some money. Yeesh.
-nava
-nava
01 June, 2011
It has been a sleepless few days in my home; sometimes it feels longer, I at least have adjusted and the days are somewhat hazy but calm, two little boys, one very sick but getting better, one slowly succumbing, both content for the most part to cuddle and doze and watch movies, eating toast and drinking tea. It is the nights that are hard. I knew nights would be harder, not just because that is when Adin woke up with that terrifying whooping and coughing that alerted us to the fact that something serious is happening, but because nights in general are the hardest. I was wondering why, last night, with one baby finally sleeping and one in a fever-induced half-doze alternating demands and questions, both nonsense or unintelligible, hen drifting off again. Maybe it's the lack of energy; everyone else is sleeping, the whole world is sleeping, seemingly, there isn't that flow of energy to draw from, to prop up and soothe to a semblance of health. Soon, I hope, nights in an artificially humid room, lights on until first light, constantly checking and rechecking their breathing, their fevers, soothing back down one or the other, scared and in pain, will be done. Until the next time. For now, this quiet daze of sunlit hours is a welcome respite, for all three of us. Now I go back to my blanket-wrapped babies and settle in again, for as long as I can.
-nava
-nava
30 May, 2011
Happy Memorial Day
I had ancestors who fought on both sides of the Revolutionary War (they were hung as traitors, on both sides, we are talented), both sides of the Civil War, and probably even the Mexican army. My grandfather was in the Army, my father the Navy, and my sister the Marine Corps. Now I think all we need is a Coastie and we're set! I hope this is a beautiful day for everyone; we are having a campout in our smallest bedroom turned sickroom and, you know what? It's been really nice. Excluding germs.
happily, -nava
happily, -nava
23 March, 2011
Itamar
The murders in Itamar have been haunting me. It is a personal nightmare for me, the possibility that I could go to sleep in my supposedly safe home only to be attacked in the middle of the night. To know that there are people out there who would actually murder children, not just children, but sleeping infants. To have it reaffirmed that my children's innocence is no protection for them. I can't understand this, I cannot, how any human being could take a child and end them. These people have lost their humanity, and that is truly a tragedy, for they are not animals, no, animals do not kill in order to bring suffering. These individuals have given up their humanity to become monsters. There is absolutely no justification for this, none. In our modern age murder has become distant; our terrible weapons of war allow us to kill from a distance, to never connect with our victims, to preserve what little bits of our soul is left after knowing that we have murdered another, for whatever reason, with the blood on our hearts, but not on our hands. To kill in this way, so intimately, with one's own hand, that takes a soul that has been utterly scarred and sealed. I don't know what will happen to these people, but I don't think there is anything that anyone can do to redeem them in this lifetime. It is tearing me apart, those poor children, that loss. The pain of the surviving children. It's just so hard.
Then added to this is the silence of the media. I search for reports of Itamar, and what pops up? So far only Jewish news broadcasts and Glen Beck. Really? Written coverage is limited and tries desperately to downplay exactly what happened. In contrast, there are full reports on how Israel wants to expand settlements after “the murder of 5 people in nearby Itamar.” Oh, the word choices. For shame, those word choices, to distance the audience from what happened. Compare that with the reaction if it had been instead “the murder of 5 family members in nearby Itamar.” To really drive the point home, imagine if US news reported “the murder of two parents and three young children in their beds”. No, instead they are faceless, identity-less, no connection, just statistics, just some bodies, “5 people in nearby Itamar.”
I understand why they have chosen these words, to report the facts without stirring up bias, to leave intact the compassion for Palestinians. You think I don't have compassion for these people? What turmoil it must be, to live in a country that is not a country, to have opposing violent forces constantly speaking for you and in your name, to not know if your home will stay your home, your government your government, when or if there will be peace in your lifetime. What they live through is terrible, and I can only hope that this whole mess gets resolved soon. But to 'protect' them by downplaying this murder? That doesn't help anyone. What happened should never have happened, and any populace should be called on to root out such sickness from among them, that they do not become poisoned. For truly, how does this reflect back onto the Palestinian people, the majority of whom, I believe, just want peace? What these monsters did only hurts their cause, and for the rest of the world to hide it only gives impetus for more attacks, more of this. Do we wait for all of Palestine to be condemned through an atrocity too big to ignore, or do we work to find some measure of justice now?
I don't know. This whole thing is just so awful. That one of us could do this to another; the whole world should be weeping.
Then added to this is the silence of the media. I search for reports of Itamar, and what pops up? So far only Jewish news broadcasts and Glen Beck. Really? Written coverage is limited and tries desperately to downplay exactly what happened. In contrast, there are full reports on how Israel wants to expand settlements after “the murder of 5 people in nearby Itamar.” Oh, the word choices. For shame, those word choices, to distance the audience from what happened. Compare that with the reaction if it had been instead “the murder of 5 family members in nearby Itamar.” To really drive the point home, imagine if US news reported “the murder of two parents and three young children in their beds”. No, instead they are faceless, identity-less, no connection, just statistics, just some bodies, “5 people in nearby Itamar.”
I understand why they have chosen these words, to report the facts without stirring up bias, to leave intact the compassion for Palestinians. You think I don't have compassion for these people? What turmoil it must be, to live in a country that is not a country, to have opposing violent forces constantly speaking for you and in your name, to not know if your home will stay your home, your government your government, when or if there will be peace in your lifetime. What they live through is terrible, and I can only hope that this whole mess gets resolved soon. But to 'protect' them by downplaying this murder? That doesn't help anyone. What happened should never have happened, and any populace should be called on to root out such sickness from among them, that they do not become poisoned. For truly, how does this reflect back onto the Palestinian people, the majority of whom, I believe, just want peace? What these monsters did only hurts their cause, and for the rest of the world to hide it only gives impetus for more attacks, more of this. Do we wait for all of Palestine to be condemned through an atrocity too big to ignore, or do we work to find some measure of justice now?
I don't know. This whole thing is just so awful. That one of us could do this to another; the whole world should be weeping.
13 March, 2011
global conspiracy?
With all the natural disasters happening in the past few months, I have noticed an interesting similarity: in all of them, agricultural areas were hit hard. The ice storms that hit the US went through our main agricultural centers, the Midwest and the South, as well as slamming the Northeast. The torrential rains and hurricane that hit Australia wiped out their agriculture as well, although they were quite realistic about just how bad this looks for Australia's food security this year, while the US was not. Now this massive earthquake and tsunami has hit Japan's northeast, a rural, agricultural area of the country. I think it's a far-fetched idea that there is a connection, but it is eerily consistent that the industry with the highest fuel inputs, the food industry, is being hit the hardest.
What it does mean is that we have even more of a catalyst for encouraging and supporting not only local food but home-grown food, as well as food preservation, as these disasters are clearly demonstrating that our food supply is not safe, it is as vulnerable as it ever was, even more so now that we as a nation do not truly understand our own food, and to rely on it completely is folly. So now the question for me is, how can I help my neighborhood become more self-sufficient when it comes to food supply? I think removing the HOA poultry ban would be a good first step ;) Adding in a provision for goats would be great too, but maybe I can organize a planting day; a neighborhood plant-in. It would be awesome!
happily,
-nava
What it does mean is that we have even more of a catalyst for encouraging and supporting not only local food but home-grown food, as well as food preservation, as these disasters are clearly demonstrating that our food supply is not safe, it is as vulnerable as it ever was, even more so now that we as a nation do not truly understand our own food, and to rely on it completely is folly. So now the question for me is, how can I help my neighborhood become more self-sufficient when it comes to food supply? I think removing the HOA poultry ban would be a good first step ;) Adding in a provision for goats would be great too, but maybe I can organize a planting day; a neighborhood plant-in. It would be awesome!
happily,
-nava
09 March, 2011
the politics of it all
I've been paying attention to the goings-on in Wisconsin and the repercussions around the country, and several things have come to my attention.
First, we are in a time of incredible political upheaval; with all the riots and overthrows going on worldwide,with the domino effect of political destabilization occurring in Africa and the Middle East, we should be thankful and, I think, somewhat confused as to why, that is not happening here.
Second, we need to grow up. All this came into sharp focus for me when an acquaintance of mine reposted a link calling what the Wisconsin democratic senators are doing “a temper tantrum”. I posted in response that I disagreed, and gave a brief rundown of why, as I figured he simply didn't have the whole picture of what is going on. Less than a week later, he posts a link about the arrest warrants going out and this time he himself calls their actions a temper tantrum.
I was honestly angry, and it took me a bit to figure out why. It isn't because we are on opposite sides of this issue, it is because of the words he used: belittling, disrespectful, and polarizing. I realise we have had a lot of polarizing in our country, and it does not seem to be slowing down. Both sides are defensive and offensive, refusing to 'back down' or 'give in'. The problem is that we have lost sight of an important fact: these people represent us. All of us. They all represent the same people: the American people. The reason for the mass amnesia regarding this can, I believe, be summed up quite simply: we have lost respect.
This is easy to see on an individual level; when a society is so fragmented that any type of authority (parents, police, etc) are seen as the enemy, rather than people from whom we can learn and who protect and guide us, we lose our anchors. We lose our connections, and our ability to see ourselves in each other. When we can no longer relate to one another respect falls away. It is this lack of respect that dissolves honest political debate into mudslinging campaigns, where anyone who disagrees or stands up for their beliefs can be mocked and ridiculed, and have this belittling language taken and spread by people whose only contribution or involvement seems to be participating in 'winning' this pointless game.
For that is what politics currently seem to be: a game. For all that each 'side' is fighting to keep the other 'side' from getting anything done, we are all losing. When the poor and the needy in our country are denigrated and abused, we all lose. When any segment of our population can be pushed aside and branded as the enemy, we all lose. For then we are not healing our body public; for a tourniquet does not heal the wound, and amputation leaves us forever scarred. In both, the gangrene sets in and soon we are all feeling the sickness and decay, however much we can pretend we are not all part of the same societal organism.
We should be working together, to heal what is clearly a weak and sickened system. The first step toward that healing, I believe, is to regain and reestablish respect. Respect does not mean liking each other; it does mean setting aside personal feelings when they are irrelevant. To respect does not mean to unthinkingly agree; in fact it's even fun to say: “I see, and I respectfully disagree.” Respect does mean listening to each other, fully examining the issue at hand, and working together to come to a workable solution. Respect means keeping the insults out of the public discourse, and remembering that these people are elected by us, for us, and we must work through them and with them, and with each other, to continue this country.
So please, do not cheapen debate by relying on insulting and fearful language to sway those around you to join 'your side'. Rely on the truth, on insightful, honest discussion, and on your regard for your fellow person to reclaim your role as a citizen and a loving member of a vast, vast family. We need each other; I would that we all regain sight of that.
First, we are in a time of incredible political upheaval; with all the riots and overthrows going on worldwide,with the domino effect of political destabilization occurring in Africa and the Middle East, we should be thankful and, I think, somewhat confused as to why, that is not happening here.
Second, we need to grow up. All this came into sharp focus for me when an acquaintance of mine reposted a link calling what the Wisconsin democratic senators are doing “a temper tantrum”. I posted in response that I disagreed, and gave a brief rundown of why, as I figured he simply didn't have the whole picture of what is going on. Less than a week later, he posts a link about the arrest warrants going out and this time he himself calls their actions a temper tantrum.
I was honestly angry, and it took me a bit to figure out why. It isn't because we are on opposite sides of this issue, it is because of the words he used: belittling, disrespectful, and polarizing. I realise we have had a lot of polarizing in our country, and it does not seem to be slowing down. Both sides are defensive and offensive, refusing to 'back down' or 'give in'. The problem is that we have lost sight of an important fact: these people represent us. All of us. They all represent the same people: the American people. The reason for the mass amnesia regarding this can, I believe, be summed up quite simply: we have lost respect.
This is easy to see on an individual level; when a society is so fragmented that any type of authority (parents, police, etc) are seen as the enemy, rather than people from whom we can learn and who protect and guide us, we lose our anchors. We lose our connections, and our ability to see ourselves in each other. When we can no longer relate to one another respect falls away. It is this lack of respect that dissolves honest political debate into mudslinging campaigns, where anyone who disagrees or stands up for their beliefs can be mocked and ridiculed, and have this belittling language taken and spread by people whose only contribution or involvement seems to be participating in 'winning' this pointless game.
For that is what politics currently seem to be: a game. For all that each 'side' is fighting to keep the other 'side' from getting anything done, we are all losing. When the poor and the needy in our country are denigrated and abused, we all lose. When any segment of our population can be pushed aside and branded as the enemy, we all lose. For then we are not healing our body public; for a tourniquet does not heal the wound, and amputation leaves us forever scarred. In both, the gangrene sets in and soon we are all feeling the sickness and decay, however much we can pretend we are not all part of the same societal organism.
We should be working together, to heal what is clearly a weak and sickened system. The first step toward that healing, I believe, is to regain and reestablish respect. Respect does not mean liking each other; it does mean setting aside personal feelings when they are irrelevant. To respect does not mean to unthinkingly agree; in fact it's even fun to say: “I see, and I respectfully disagree.” Respect does mean listening to each other, fully examining the issue at hand, and working together to come to a workable solution. Respect means keeping the insults out of the public discourse, and remembering that these people are elected by us, for us, and we must work through them and with them, and with each other, to continue this country.
So please, do not cheapen debate by relying on insulting and fearful language to sway those around you to join 'your side'. Rely on the truth, on insightful, honest discussion, and on your regard for your fellow person to reclaim your role as a citizen and a loving member of a vast, vast family. We need each other; I would that we all regain sight of that.
08 March, 2011
tzitzit
Asher wore his tzitzit for the first time to shul on Shabbat, at his request. It was awesome. I made him a tallit katan and we tied the tzitzit earlier in the week, so they would be ready for him. He was so excited! We said the blessing, he put them on, and was very proud of himself all day.
I have another set waiting; I am debating trimming (before or after) since I did have to cut off quite a bit. We'll see; since it isn't daily for him yet I have time to figure it out.
I have another set waiting; I am debating trimming (before or after) since I did have to cut off quite a bit. We'll see; since it isn't daily for him yet I have time to figure it out.
07 March, 2011
even more direction
I have been in a bit of a tizzy since Wednesday night. Every Wednesday I go to a women's Torah study at the local Chabad; it's been a very nice time, a time for me to slow down and breathe midweek, interact, really think and listen carefully.
I've been working on just listening, as I have a tendency to dominate a conversation once I get going, and I think that connecting with and really getting to know other people through their own words and perspectives is something I should be doing, rather than just spouting off what I think/know. I have met some really wonderful ladies through this class, each week a slightly different grouping, depending on who can come. This past week one of the ladies was discussing her son's upcoming Bar Mitzvah, and their farm, and somehow (I have no idea; there goes my mouth again) I wound up saying flippantly that I dream of living on a communal farm, but that's sometime in the future. Now, I don't know why I said this; I think it was only tangentially
connected to the subject at hand (if at all), but in this case their was a reason.
See, she and her husband own a farm, a nice-sized one, and after my remark she turned to me in all serious and started “well, actually...”. They have the permits in hand to build just such a community, and have just been waiting for the right time to get started.
Now, I do believe in fate. I do believe in and try to have G-d guide me in my life. People kept asking me, why are you moving to Portland? I couldn't really answer except to say that I love Portland. I do, even though I hadn't been here in over 15 years, but I do very much love this area,and have felt drawn here since that brief visit. When we couldn't find a place in the Jewish area of Portland we wound up 'settling' on our current place, which is nice, walking distance to everything we need, etc. Milt wound up getting hired an hour away from here, and has been unable to find a new position anywhere closer. Here's the thing; by coming here we became involved in the local Chabad, and that is where I met this lovely woman. Milt's job, while far from here, in only 30 minutes (tops) from their farm. Everything is coming together, faster and faster and faster, more clearly each step we take, that it is hard for me to not get giddily excited despite the fact that hey, this might not happen.
We are currently in the position that this can happen, at least for us, and frankly if we can get it going right it WILL happen. I am thrilled. Beyond thrilled. I can't stop thinking about it. We are visiting the farm within the next 5 days, and we will go from there. Wow.
happily,
-nava
I've been working on just listening, as I have a tendency to dominate a conversation once I get going, and I think that connecting with and really getting to know other people through their own words and perspectives is something I should be doing, rather than just spouting off what I think/know. I have met some really wonderful ladies through this class, each week a slightly different grouping, depending on who can come. This past week one of the ladies was discussing her son's upcoming Bar Mitzvah, and their farm, and somehow (I have no idea; there goes my mouth again) I wound up saying flippantly that I dream of living on a communal farm, but that's sometime in the future. Now, I don't know why I said this; I think it was only tangentially
connected to the subject at hand (if at all), but in this case their was a reason.
See, she and her husband own a farm, a nice-sized one, and after my remark she turned to me in all serious and started “well, actually...”. They have the permits in hand to build just such a community, and have just been waiting for the right time to get started.
Now, I do believe in fate. I do believe in and try to have G-d guide me in my life. People kept asking me, why are you moving to Portland? I couldn't really answer except to say that I love Portland. I do, even though I hadn't been here in over 15 years, but I do very much love this area,and have felt drawn here since that brief visit. When we couldn't find a place in the Jewish area of Portland we wound up 'settling' on our current place, which is nice, walking distance to everything we need, etc. Milt wound up getting hired an hour away from here, and has been unable to find a new position anywhere closer. Here's the thing; by coming here we became involved in the local Chabad, and that is where I met this lovely woman. Milt's job, while far from here, in only 30 minutes (tops) from their farm. Everything is coming together, faster and faster and faster, more clearly each step we take, that it is hard for me to not get giddily excited despite the fact that hey, this might not happen.
We are currently in the position that this can happen, at least for us, and frankly if we can get it going right it WILL happen. I am thrilled. Beyond thrilled. I can't stop thinking about it. We are visiting the farm within the next 5 days, and we will go from there. Wow.
happily,
-nava
02 March, 2011
etsy feature
Last night I received a message from the etsylawst blog asking to feature my etsy shop. I panicked a bit. The timing was amazing as I had just refocused as well as spending almost 2 hours on the phone with Yohki during which we discussed, among other things, marketing my shop. I was not ready, but close. However, these things don't wait for me to be ready, especially when I've thrown away my prep time, so I said yes and got to work.
I made a blog for the shop, a banner for the blog and an avatar for my shop, both of which I will be posting tonight when I go to the library before Torah study, and have been figuring out what to do next. Well, the feature is already up, so I am racing against time here, but I am very very thankful for the publicity. At least now I'll be better prepared, yes?
happily,
nava
I made a blog for the shop, a banner for the blog and an avatar for my shop, both of which I will be posting tonight when I go to the library before Torah study, and have been figuring out what to do next. Well, the feature is already up, so I am racing against time here, but I am very very thankful for the publicity. At least now I'll be better prepared, yes?
happily,
nava
01 March, 2011
direction
I've been in a bit of a mental muddle lately, I believe I lost my way for a bit, my focus. Thing is, I hadn't really acknowledged what my focus should be, what my overarching purpose seems to be, and so distraction added to distraction and soon I was wandering in daydreams. I got a wake-up call last night, well, actually a second one. The first was a reminder of what I am and what I should be doing, and really lifted my spirits, but it wasn't quite enough, evidently, since the second was a warning as to what would come about from spending my life in my head. 2am is as good a time as any for a reevaluation, and since I had no one physical to talk to I got to have a bit of a conversation with myself and the One Upstairs. So here I am, refocused and I am going to try to get to where I need to be. Another help was the (coincidental?) mention of another blog by a fellow I respect very much, so influences and directions are coming thick and fast. ( Sometimes I do need very very clear directions handed to me, clearly!) The point is I am going to stop compartmentalising, since I am very much a web-of-connections thinker, and I'm going to get back on track.my track. Hopefully I'll also be clearer in sharing this, since that is part of my 'track' as well.
obtuse? I often am, Things may get clearer, or not, but I needed to write this and get on with things.
happily,
-nava
obtuse? I often am, Things may get clearer, or not, but I needed to write this and get on with things.
happily,
-nava
21 January, 2011
hello Oregon
well, we've been in Oregon for almost a month now, and in our house since the 3rd, We've been adjusting a lot, but things for the most part have been going well.
heating: our house has a radiator for almost every room, each individually controlled, with varying levels of effectiveness; the one in our bedroom will roast us in minutes, the one in the living room warms up the windowsill quite nicely, etc. For the past week I've kept all the heaters off except when absolutely needed; once Milt had to be up at 6 and it had frozen overnight, but by the time the rest of us got up we could shut it off again.
paint: the house was painted...interestingly. Thankully there was a gigantic bucket of blueish paint in the garage, so with the help of a $5 can of brown paint I am (slowly) repainting the mint-green living room a nice, clean grey. The boy's room I painted a super happy dark aqua; they love it. The kitchen will be yellow (hooray for oops paint!) but I'm waiting on that, since it needs a bit of a remodel. We'll see.
Did manage to kasher the kitchen, mostly; the dishwasher is a glorified dish drying rack, I want to get wash bins for the sink (for conservation reasons, too) and I use towels and plastic cutting mats on the laminate countertops for now.
planning my garden; there is one spot in the backyard that gets sun all day, and I've noticed that's where the neighbours have positioned their planter boxes too. Just need to salvage some materials for that.
we are still just using our phones for internet, and occasionally driving over to McD's to use their free wifi when we need it (some sites/functions do not work on a phone) and it looks like we will not be able to afford home internet for some time, which is fine, we're doing ok :)
on that note, we have been looking for a renter; I hope we find the right one/ones soon, because I would really love the company and that big, beautiful room is just an empty space till then.
Alright, time to get ready for Shabbat. Should be really great this week!
happily
-nava
heating: our house has a radiator for almost every room, each individually controlled, with varying levels of effectiveness; the one in our bedroom will roast us in minutes, the one in the living room warms up the windowsill quite nicely, etc. For the past week I've kept all the heaters off except when absolutely needed; once Milt had to be up at 6 and it had frozen overnight, but by the time the rest of us got up we could shut it off again.
paint: the house was painted...interestingly. Thankully there was a gigantic bucket of blueish paint in the garage, so with the help of a $5 can of brown paint I am (slowly) repainting the mint-green living room a nice, clean grey. The boy's room I painted a super happy dark aqua; they love it. The kitchen will be yellow (hooray for oops paint!) but I'm waiting on that, since it needs a bit of a remodel. We'll see.
Did manage to kasher the kitchen, mostly; the dishwasher is a glorified dish drying rack, I want to get wash bins for the sink (for conservation reasons, too) and I use towels and plastic cutting mats on the laminate countertops for now.
planning my garden; there is one spot in the backyard that gets sun all day, and I've noticed that's where the neighbours have positioned their planter boxes too. Just need to salvage some materials for that.
we are still just using our phones for internet, and occasionally driving over to McD's to use their free wifi when we need it (some sites/functions do not work on a phone) and it looks like we will not be able to afford home internet for some time, which is fine, we're doing ok :)
on that note, we have been looking for a renter; I hope we find the right one/ones soon, because I would really love the company and that big, beautiful room is just an empty space till then.
Alright, time to get ready for Shabbat. Should be really great this week!
happily
-nava
07 January, 2011
moving in
we finally got into the house on the 3rd, signed on the 5th. After much deliberation (who's, I don't know) the sellers signed yesterday. Containers were delivered the 5th, finished unloading today, and I am really really really looking forward to Shabbat. My only internet access is through my phone, so whileit's been great having some access and taking advantage of what an awesome phone I have, it's been a bit limiting. Once % have real internet again it will be picture time, because OH MAN the updating I have planned for this place! Woooo!
happily,
nava
happily,
nava
01 January, 2011
Well hello, 2011. So nice to see you.
I am in Oregon. We are in Oregon. Finally. I flew up with the boys on Thursday; 7am flight out of San Jose. It was a great flight; quiet, short, early. No issues in security (no scan or pat-down), easy seating arrangement switch, happy child, sleeping toddler.
The UPack containers were filled in a marathon session by my Dad, with some assistance from myself and my sister. My Mom helped indoors, packing and organising. 3 containers full of STUFF, and still some got left behind. I am going to continue getting rid of things as I unpack up here. It's been fun, actually, the purging. Assisting in this is that I am setting up our kitchen as Kosher, so anything that didn't make the cut is GONE. It means I start over too, in acquiring some things, so I am trying to keep that controlled. I want to cut it all down, as far as we can. Packing all that was too much. Even after all the Ebay and half.com and garage sales and craigslist and freecycle, so much stuff.
Mom and I managed to condense my crafting supplies quite a bit. It doesn't all fit in the wardrobe, yet, but by summer that is my plan, and by the end of this year (Rosh Hoshanah) I want it all to fit without being precarious. :) One of the last things to make it in to the containers was my little sewing machine; my heavy-duty (to me, at least) machine I think got left behind. It may get sent up, it may not. Either way I want to give sewing lessons. I have enough supplies, after all, and we can definitely use the income! Going to finish posting things to Etsy too; perhaps today, a little 'New Year' treat.
I am looking forward to the enforced frugality we are heading in to; no tv, still sussing out internet, very minimal use of utilities. Which reminds me, we need to get utilities turned on in the house.
We sign Monday, finally, 11 days late, and are taking 'early' occupancy for $30 a day until the down payment clears. Cheaper than a hotel, yes, and we are relieved to finally be moving in. Finally finally finally.
Finally together, finally going home, finally starting again after a long pause.
Finally.
It's going to be a lovely year.
So here is my resolution: Go, enjoy. "We should all be all alive."
The UPack containers were filled in a marathon session by my Dad, with some assistance from myself and my sister. My Mom helped indoors, packing and organising. 3 containers full of STUFF, and still some got left behind. I am going to continue getting rid of things as I unpack up here. It's been fun, actually, the purging. Assisting in this is that I am setting up our kitchen as Kosher, so anything that didn't make the cut is GONE. It means I start over too, in acquiring some things, so I am trying to keep that controlled. I want to cut it all down, as far as we can. Packing all that was too much. Even after all the Ebay and half.com and garage sales and craigslist and freecycle, so much stuff.
Mom and I managed to condense my crafting supplies quite a bit. It doesn't all fit in the wardrobe, yet, but by summer that is my plan, and by the end of this year (Rosh Hoshanah) I want it all to fit without being precarious. :) One of the last things to make it in to the containers was my little sewing machine; my heavy-duty (to me, at least) machine I think got left behind. It may get sent up, it may not. Either way I want to give sewing lessons. I have enough supplies, after all, and we can definitely use the income! Going to finish posting things to Etsy too; perhaps today, a little 'New Year' treat.
I am looking forward to the enforced frugality we are heading in to; no tv, still sussing out internet, very minimal use of utilities. Which reminds me, we need to get utilities turned on in the house.
We sign Monday, finally, 11 days late, and are taking 'early' occupancy for $30 a day until the down payment clears. Cheaper than a hotel, yes, and we are relieved to finally be moving in. Finally finally finally.
Finally together, finally going home, finally starting again after a long pause.
Finally.
It's going to be a lovely year.
So here is my resolution: Go, enjoy. "We should all be all alive."
06 December, 2010
Movin' On Uuuuup (material monday. ish.)
'We' sign the papers on the 23rd. I'm looking into POA for various reasons. The closing date is the 27th. Wow. So soon. so very very soon. Not ready yet, but so ready. If I could throw everything in a bag and be out the door now I would.
Milt's been up there since the 28th, as he started work the 29th. The first few days were hard, but harder for him, as he didn't have the routine and the rhythm of taking care of the boys, the house, the plans; all he had was the emptiness of a rented room and the voices of his son through a telephone. The first few calls were filled with choked messages, loneliness.
It hits me sometimes now too, especially as I try to plan for getting the 3 of us up there; "what day? what does closing mean? should we deliver our stuff before we get there? what is your work schedule? what, in all this confusion, will work?" Then I look into plane tickets and, despite my repulsion at being scanned and/or searched the trade off is >2 hours flight time, or +12 hours drive time, or +30 hours train. So plane tickets then, but what about the cost? $50 if we can go the 25th, but where would we sleep then? $50 if I can wait until January; can I? It's only an extra week. It's an entire extra week! Not so long, and yet we are so tired of waiting, of the being apart.
Asher wakes up every morning now, "Daddy not here. Daddy at new house!" calm, matter-of-fact, sometime excited. Already it's a routine; it's been easy, how quickly he accepted it, no tears, just some occasional wistfulness. Is that ok? In small children time was elastic, I remember, my own Dad gone for months at a time, no sadness on my part. It was the actual parting that hurt, not the being apart. I am thankful that he's not hurting, but somehow, it makes it harder, and strange, being so alright with this distance. Adin though, he's been a bit clingy, so incredibly excited whenever I come around a corner, much less back inside after being out for an errand. "You came BACK!" Happy to see me, yes, but also so surprised.
It's made me re-examine love, family, attachment. Strangely, makes adoption seem even less fraught; I'd only seen the trauma of it until now, known the risks, the problems, the pain of what I still want, eventually. but this has nothing to do with our move. Not yet, anyhow.
Now it's a matter of purging; I've lost my camera, again, so I can't post things to sell, and anything I don't sell in my 'not keeping' pile I am giving away. I don't want any of it, and I can't afford to take it even if I wanted to. Hey, right now I can't afford to take any of it. Strangely, I'm ok with the thought that perhaps all these boxes I am carefully packing will have to be abandoned. It makes me giddy. I wouldn't miss it, most of it, I know now the boys wouldn't at all. I am going to go through the boxes of toys, see if I can purge another 50% there. Shouldn't be hard. I keep catching myself waffling over things, thinking "what if" and packing it up again when I should be throwing it out. Throw it out! Be done. Be free. That seems to be my mantra these days. be Free.
Milt's been up there since the 28th, as he started work the 29th. The first few days were hard, but harder for him, as he didn't have the routine and the rhythm of taking care of the boys, the house, the plans; all he had was the emptiness of a rented room and the voices of his son through a telephone. The first few calls were filled with choked messages, loneliness.
It hits me sometimes now too, especially as I try to plan for getting the 3 of us up there; "what day? what does closing mean? should we deliver our stuff before we get there? what is your work schedule? what, in all this confusion, will work?" Then I look into plane tickets and, despite my repulsion at being scanned and/or searched the trade off is >2 hours flight time, or +12 hours drive time, or +30 hours train. So plane tickets then, but what about the cost? $50 if we can go the 25th, but where would we sleep then? $50 if I can wait until January; can I? It's only an extra week. It's an entire extra week! Not so long, and yet we are so tired of waiting, of the being apart.
Asher wakes up every morning now, "Daddy not here. Daddy at new house!" calm, matter-of-fact, sometime excited. Already it's a routine; it's been easy, how quickly he accepted it, no tears, just some occasional wistfulness. Is that ok? In small children time was elastic, I remember, my own Dad gone for months at a time, no sadness on my part. It was the actual parting that hurt, not the being apart. I am thankful that he's not hurting, but somehow, it makes it harder, and strange, being so alright with this distance. Adin though, he's been a bit clingy, so incredibly excited whenever I come around a corner, much less back inside after being out for an errand. "You came BACK!" Happy to see me, yes, but also so surprised.
It's made me re-examine love, family, attachment. Strangely, makes adoption seem even less fraught; I'd only seen the trauma of it until now, known the risks, the problems, the pain of what I still want, eventually. but this has nothing to do with our move. Not yet, anyhow.
Now it's a matter of purging; I've lost my camera, again, so I can't post things to sell, and anything I don't sell in my 'not keeping' pile I am giving away. I don't want any of it, and I can't afford to take it even if I wanted to. Hey, right now I can't afford to take any of it. Strangely, I'm ok with the thought that perhaps all these boxes I am carefully packing will have to be abandoned. It makes me giddy. I wouldn't miss it, most of it, I know now the boys wouldn't at all. I am going to go through the boxes of toys, see if I can purge another 50% there. Shouldn't be hard. I keep catching myself waffling over things, thinking "what if" and packing it up again when I should be throwing it out. Throw it out! Be done. Be free. That seems to be my mantra these days. be Free.
07 November, 2010
progress!
Oh wow it's been a crazy couple of weeks. First, Milt got a job! Well, a job transfer. All because our awesome realtor called her friend, who is a manager in a semi-local store in Milt's company. Awesome! We are still hoping for the other job, but now that this job is in hand we are go! However, she needs him the 1st week of December, and the soonest we can close on the house is the end of December, so we will be apart for 1 month. Hard. Especially for the boys. He has promised to Skype every day though, so that's good. Also, so so so so so exciting. This is really happening! Woo hoo!
Otherwise we've been clearing out everything we own! So have my parents! It's been wild in here! Milt decided to sell his big corner desk unit, so I cleared it and emptied the matching file cabinet, and I emptied our tall4-drawer file cabinet and condensed all those files into 1 box. so cool. I'm pretty sure we'll need 1 more file box, but I'm hoping I can condense things a little more. I havegonethrough all our boxes that were still packed from our move last August and have been purging, at least 1/3 of our stuff, and almost 1/2 of our books. I also went through and pulled out all my 'in progress' stuff, and all the various uncompleted projects from my Grandmother, and put them all in bins to work on. 4 bins of sewing projects! Wild! Some of them are from the early 1970s. Also very cool.
So now I'm getting back to that, and then hopefully time for bed.
happily,
nava
Otherwise we've been clearing out everything we own! So have my parents! It's been wild in here! Milt decided to sell his big corner desk unit, so I cleared it and emptied the matching file cabinet, and I emptied our tall4-drawer file cabinet and condensed all those files into 1 box. so cool. I'm pretty sure we'll need 1 more file box, but I'm hoping I can condense things a little more. I havegonethrough all our boxes that were still packed from our move last August and have been purging, at least 1/3 of our stuff, and almost 1/2 of our books. I also went through and pulled out all my 'in progress' stuff, and all the various uncompleted projects from my Grandmother, and put them all in bins to work on. 4 bins of sewing projects! Wild! Some of them are from the early 1970s. Also very cool.
So now I'm getting back to that, and then hopefully time for bed.
happily,
nava
24 October, 2010
making plans: week 2
Since the task of going through everything in this house is so consuming I am not going to attempt to get back to my 5-day postings until it is done, just random updates and a weekly game plan.
On the house front, we are waiting to hear from the bank and from Milt's job, to see about a transfer request. We are really waiting to hear from the VA on an even better job, but we need something in order to move forward. Onward, ever onward. We havedecided to go with U-Packmoving, because theideaofMilt having to drive a truckover I-5 in the snow has me freaked the heck out. Of course, so does the thought of us driving the van over I-5 in the snow, but oh well.
Last week I focused on patterns; I have over 200 complete patterns ready to go to Pattern Rescue, and I am still finding bits and pieces as I sort through. however, I am marking that project 'done', and moving on.
This week I have a few areas to focus in: fabric, sewing, and etsy.
I've decided to get my etsy shop going again, this time by November1st. It seems crazy, but really it's needed, because if I can sell the things now I don't have to take them with me to Oregon. Yay! So that means I need to put together all my partially assembled items, finish writing my essence descriptions and get everything photographed and posted. Even if nothing sells, at least this will be done and I can reopen after we move.
Other sewing is needed as well; I am going to try to finish up all my UFOs, at least to thepoint that Ican take out all thepins, if not completely finish each thing. The boys at least need very cozy pjs, since they kick their covers off and I don't want them to freeze. Footie pjs! I am also going to try to turn more of my scraps into quilt squares: I keep all my trimmings, then sew them to used dryer sheets in crazy-quilt fashion. Waste not, want not, right? Plus it's really quick, and less thought and time intensive than my other quilts.
While I do this I am going to go through all the fabric. There are more than 10 bins of fabric to go through, which I will be dividing into keep: I actually have plans for or love this fabric; sell: vintage or otherwise awesome fabric; and giveaway: small lots, random fabrics, and anything not a natural fiber.
Ok, we'll see how this week goes! Hopefully the weather clears by next weekend too. :)
happily,
nava
On the house front, we are waiting to hear from the bank and from Milt's job, to see about a transfer request. We are really waiting to hear from the VA on an even better job, but we need something in order to move forward. Onward, ever onward. We havedecided to go with U-Packmoving, because theideaofMilt having to drive a truckover I-5 in the snow has me freaked the heck out. Of course, so does the thought of us driving the van over I-5 in the snow, but oh well.
Last week I focused on patterns; I have over 200 complete patterns ready to go to Pattern Rescue, and I am still finding bits and pieces as I sort through. however, I am marking that project 'done', and moving on.
This week I have a few areas to focus in: fabric, sewing, and etsy.
I've decided to get my etsy shop going again, this time by November1st. It seems crazy, but really it's needed, because if I can sell the things now I don't have to take them with me to Oregon. Yay! So that means I need to put together all my partially assembled items, finish writing my essence descriptions and get everything photographed and posted. Even if nothing sells, at least this will be done and I can reopen after we move.
Other sewing is needed as well; I am going to try to finish up all my UFOs, at least to thepoint that Ican take out all thepins, if not completely finish each thing. The boys at least need very cozy pjs, since they kick their covers off and I don't want them to freeze. Footie pjs! I am also going to try to turn more of my scraps into quilt squares: I keep all my trimmings, then sew them to used dryer sheets in crazy-quilt fashion. Waste not, want not, right? Plus it's really quick, and less thought and time intensive than my other quilts.
While I do this I am going to go through all the fabric. There are more than 10 bins of fabric to go through, which I will be dividing into keep: I actually have plans for or love this fabric; sell: vintage or otherwise awesome fabric; and giveaway: small lots, random fabrics, and anything not a natural fiber.
Ok, we'll see how this week goes! Hopefully the weather clears by next weekend too. :)
happily,
nava
21 October, 2010
what day is it? : patterns! everywhere!
So this whole buying a house - trying to move - dealing with banks - finding employment -sifting through mountains of ... stuff... has really thrown me for a loop. At the end of the day I don't even zone out anymore; I just keep going until I can barely drag myself into bed because I just. want. to. finish. My poor kids. Well, Adin seems fine; he likes the new stuff to destroy, but Asher is having a hard time with the incredible mess and the lack of routine. Poor kid.
The past 4 days I have done nothing but sort patterns. 35+ years of patterns. This means gathering them all together, all the envelopes, random pieces, etc, sorting them, trying to put the pieces with the envelopes, repairing ripped pieces and envelopes, and cataloging everything. 4 days. I have 4 groups: mine (mine!mine!) sell/giveaway vintage, sell giveaway non-vintage, and 'missing'.The 'missing' group runs the gamut from complete except for 1 tiny piece missing to everything missing except for one sad little piece floating around in a plastic bag with a large card telling me the company and pattern number. I have sorted through 1 box of patterns so far, smoothing, matching, packaging, I still have 2 MORE to go.
What I want to do is see if there is some place online where people are looking for pattern pieces to complete their own incomplete ones and I will send them mine (if they need them) for the cost of postage. Or even free. heck, I think we might have an extra $5 this week, why not? Well, I don't think $5 will send many. A few though! Definitely a few!
I did manage to freecycle about 10 buckets of paint. Awesome! I also have one box of craft 'stuff' (magazines, supplies, patterns) to get rid of. I was hoping to garage sale this weekend, but the forecast is calling for RAIN. and then some RAIN. plus I am attending a baby shower and hopefully getting together with friends this weekend, but it already seems too late for garage sales and we need money for closing costs and money money money freak out blah blah blah. I need to chill out again.
That has been my lesson in this whole thing. Chill out. Trust.
So I do.
Again.
happily.
-nava
The past 4 days I have done nothing but sort patterns. 35+ years of patterns. This means gathering them all together, all the envelopes, random pieces, etc, sorting them, trying to put the pieces with the envelopes, repairing ripped pieces and envelopes, and cataloging everything. 4 days. I have 4 groups: mine (mine!mine!) sell/giveaway vintage, sell giveaway non-vintage, and 'missing'.The 'missing' group runs the gamut from complete except for 1 tiny piece missing to everything missing except for one sad little piece floating around in a plastic bag with a large card telling me the company and pattern number. I have sorted through 1 box of patterns so far, smoothing, matching, packaging, I still have 2 MORE to go.
What I want to do is see if there is some place online where people are looking for pattern pieces to complete their own incomplete ones and I will send them mine (if they need them) for the cost of postage. Or even free. heck, I think we might have an extra $5 this week, why not? Well, I don't think $5 will send many. A few though! Definitely a few!
I did manage to freecycle about 10 buckets of paint. Awesome! I also have one box of craft 'stuff' (magazines, supplies, patterns) to get rid of. I was hoping to garage sale this weekend, but the forecast is calling for RAIN. and then some RAIN. plus I am attending a baby shower and hopefully getting together with friends this weekend, but it already seems too late for garage sales and we need money for closing costs and money money money freak out blah blah blah. I need to chill out again.
That has been my lesson in this whole thing. Chill out. Trust.
So I do.
Again.
happily.
-nava
12 October, 2010
tasty tuesday: coconut rice pudding
So Sunday we drove back from Portland and it took me all of yesterday and some of today to recover. Whew! What a trip! It was great, but when we move we are splitting it up into 2 days, at least, because sitting in a car for12 straight hours does a number on the body. Anyhow!
So when we got back there was a big pot of rice in the rice cooker, and since it was getting to the end of its tastyness I took theleftovers, put it in a pot with a can of coconut milk and some raisins and cooked it up until it was warm. A little sprinkle of cinnamon and YUM. that's it!
-happily,
nava
So when we got back there was a big pot of rice in the rice cooker, and since it was getting to the end of its tastyness I took theleftovers, put it in a pot with a can of coconut milk and some raisins and cooked it up until it was warm. A little sprinkle of cinnamon and YUM. that's it!
-happily,
nava
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