tasty tuesday - jumping in

On the health front, I've been dabbling in raw food. That is, when I am preparing the meal, generally for myself, it is raw. When others prepare it, it's generally been cooked. Ironically this has happened more often than usual since starting my raw food interests, as we've had visitors galore these past few weeks. Although I did manage to make a group meal of squash 'linguini' with a basil pesto and aside of sesame carrots. YUM!

It's been really awesome, having all these people around, but I've noticed major differences in my health and energy levels when I've eaten cooked versus raw, and I am really liking the effects of raw. Plus, my 'brown' eyes (which I've always called hazel) are changing colors again. Now, I've gotten to a green ring around the outer iris before, with cutting out dairy and consuming lots of water, but this time it's getting some blue in there. I haven't had blue eyes since I was a crawling baby, so this is HUGE.

Clearly I am FULL of toxins (no cracks about my personality, thank you) so I have convinced my mom to go on a cleanse with me. Now, rather than do the Master Cleanse, (I felt this was a little hardcore and perhaps ill-advised as I am still nursing) we will be doing a juice fast aided by a.m. saline flushes and senna tea. To that end I looked and looked and looked for a juicer and then I went to Cost-to-the-co to buy vinegar and... boughtaVitaMix. aaaauuuuuugghghghghg. Honestly I'm still hyperventilating a bit over the cost. I do that whenever I spend over $100 at one time, so you can only imagine the state I am in right now. So, I will be keeping very careful track of that machine's usage and when it has paid for itself,well,I am going to celebrate! I'm not sure how yet. Maybe a cookie? Anyhow, wish me luck on the fast, and I'll update as time marches on! (and saline flushes out? eew)
sorry for the lack of pics! tomorrow, I promise.

happily,
nava

material monday: new lunch box and new project

As mentioned before, I am trying to limit and decrease the amount of stuff in out lives. I am also trying to increase the quality of the remaining stuff, including upcycling, which is always fun.
This past weekend we hauled out my parent's old tv cabinet (and I mean OLD - this was given to my grandfather in the 1950s) in order to try yet again to sell it in a garage sale.


Well, we had a few nibbles, no bites, (although I did manage to sell my side cabinet; woohoo!) and as I looked it over I suddenly had a flash of inspiration: Play Kitchen! and thus begins another project. :) This is going to be awesome! It also means the current play kitchen is going out the door. yay!


my boys on tv! (That's my Dad's arm, removing the broken handle.)

In other 'stuff' news, I got a shpiffy gift from my mom: a new lunchbox! I've had my eye on these stackable types for a looong, looong time, and could never justify buying one, based on a)lack of space and 2) my bento box collection,but the other day my mom presented me with this lovely number!

I am so excited, and grateful! Now to pack it full of delicious food and go eat! somewhere. hmmm. backyard picnic? This does mean I'm going to pare down my bento collection. at least a little bit. Maybe I'll post about that next Monday!

happily,
-nava

stalking simplicity

August 1st, being a Sunday, seemed as good a day as any to launch the new 'direction' of this blog; that is, giving it an actual focus, rather than random ramblings, as I have trouble deciding what is 'worth' posting otherwise and then don't post at all.
That focus? Simplifying; doing more with less; reaching for sustainability; eliminating the clutter in our lives (in all areas) and enjoying the journey.

Toward that end we (ok, I) have several goals in different areas.

First is Health! (this is a big one): adjusting our diet to be the healthiest possible. I've started on a Raw Food diet(mostly) and it's been going well. I share with the boys, but until I really have it down I am not having them go raw just yet. Milt is not really ready for raw either, but at least he'll try what I do make! aaaaand then eat a hot dog. :)
With this diet I am hoping to alleviate allergic and autoimmune responses, and so far I have noticed a HUGE difference between eating raw and eating cooked. Of course, I usually eat cheese when I don't eat raw, so I'm sure that is exacerbating the difference. ;)
Another intended effect of this diet change is weight stabilisation. I am 17 lbs above a 'normal' BMI, and it shows. I am 37 lbs above what is normal for me; that is, a fit and healthy size, usually between 6-8 in dress size, which is what I was before my thyroid became weak, sometime between my two pregnancies. (Although, I was a little chubby when I got married; I blame that on access to only really, really crappy food). Still! The health risks, and environmental impact, of maintaining this overweight lifestyle is the opposite of what I want in my life, so I am also focusing more on Exercise!

I finally 'fixed up' my bike (inflated the front tire and tightened the handlebars; wow, I have been lazy!) and am riding almost every day, with Asher in his BoBike mini right up in front. We've both been having a blast, although he is a little big for the mini, so I am looking into getting the BoBike maxi (or something similar) sometime soon. I am also fixing up a three-wheeled bike I found in the backyard, so it will be easier to cart both boys ( or a boy and some stuff? like groceries?) around once that is done. However, it is very, VERY rusted, and I am crossing my fingers that is is still structurally sound. I did discover that the lovely orange frame is actually white underneath. wow. We also go for walks, usually down to the train station (Asher LOVES trains),and I do yoga and belly dancing, which are, and have been, fantastic for my joints. On days that I don't get those two workouts I am really stiff, and it feels so great to get those stretches in that I can get a little resentful if the morning runs away with me before I get to it.

The next area of focus is our STUFF. We want to get our own place (we currently rent a room from my parents; yes, the four of us, one bedroom, although we do have the run of the house, so it's a pretty nice setup) but we are so bogged down with STUFF that I don't want to deal with it! We have about one year to save up a down payment, and in that time I'm getting rid of whatever I possibly can. Our stuff fills out a 2-bedroom apartment pretty well, but it is still just way, way too much. So, anything I can sell is being used to fund a down payment (and to pay down some of our debt), anything I can't is being donated, freecycled, or recycled. I can say that my two big trouble areas are my craft supplies (I have 8 bins of fabric. 8. That's insane.) and stuff for the boys. I have fantastic things for the boys, including montessori materials, but it's getting lost in the deluge of STUFF. Now, I am pretty brutal when stuff comes into the house; if it's plastic or makes electronic noises, I donate it within the week. But if it is wood or natural fibers, well, it gets through and it's getting to be a bit much. I don't want the cleaning of toys (and the arguing about cleaning of toys) to continue eating into our time together. It just isn't worth it. (On that note, know what else isn't worth it? Garage sales. Cragislist FTW! Anything that can't be craigslisted should be freecycled/given away ASAP. Just saying.)

The third area is our community and environment. Milt and I are not 'joiners' but I have been feeling the lack of community now that Asher is getting older and we aren't in Santa Cruz anymore, so we want to plug in somewhere, even if it is temporary. We also want to start making positive changes outside of our home sphere, so we are looking for opportunities to do that as well. Now, some personal things fall into this area:fuel economy, cloth diapers, washing the car on the lawn, but it all fits together into one big picture of how to live the fullest lives possible while making the most impact and leaving the smallest environmental footprint.

So I'll be focusing on these three areas, keeping track and trying to make sense of where we are heading. However it goes, it's going to be amazing.

almost time for a party...

Summer's been hurtling along, hasn't it? Unbelievable that it's already mid-July. Adin's 1st birthday is Sunday (!!!!!!) and I am, I suppose, in a sort of denial about it, which is why I am totally unprepared for the party. That is, I have a box of *things* for the party, but food? what? I bought a cake mix, as waiting for inspiration to strike is looking less than promising in that department, although really, does a toddler really need cake? or in our children's cases, cupcakes? I have managed to have an argument already with my mother about the gifting; I feel awkward and tacky opening gifts in front of people, she insists we do it. This is also the woman who insisted we add *more* to our wedding registry, so we wound up with a lot of random (awesome! thank you!) things rather than the essentials we had initially picked. Don't know what to do in this case though.
I am at least planning to do his portraits at the beach, rather than with a professional in a studio, because while I love Asher's 1st-year portraits, his 2nd year pic, that I took in the backyard,is more...him... more honest. and gorgeous. I think I can get equally good photos of Adin, being the gregarious little ball of love and destruction that he is.
Plus I despise *having* to pic a certain amount in this size and that size and the other size and alright I'm still mostly peeved about spending that much on graduation announcements and pictures for a very very low return on investment, if you know what I mean, but enough about my issues.
I've been doing a lot of cleaning and rearranging and throwing out and had a massive yard sale while my mother was in Colorado which is why I am sitting in the middle of a huge mess right now with the knowledge that she will be walking in here tomorrow morning hanging over my head so I need to shut this down now and get back to work, which is fine because the battery is almost out of charge anyhow. alright, back to cleaning. or watching psych. whichever. based on this last paragraph what I SHOULD be doing is sleeping. except that sleep is for the childless, amen.

wait, it's almost July?

I can't believe how long it's been since I posted here. Or anywhere really; even my hand written journal has been neglected. It is truly because of an over-abundance of activity; I just haven't had the time, or the focus, to record much; I keep up with the boy's journals and that's about it! Speaking of the boy's, Adin's 1st birthday is in less than a month; incredible! I am excitedly planning his party, finally mailed out invitations yesterday and today, and I have a few to hand-deliver later this afternoon.
Otherwise my life-direction has been building momentum. With my plans to become a massage therapist and a midwife on the back burner, due to money+time, I came across flower essences, which I've used various times without realising it, and herbalism, which I've been studying on my own since I was about 8 (so, 20years or so? My neighbour had to help me figure out how old I am going to be next month; I thought I was turning 29, apparently I'll only be 28!) Anyhow, so I took the leap and signed up for the Master in Herbalism certification program from the School of Natural Healing, which I am LOVING, and I have immersed myself in flower essences; found a wonderful place called Green Hope Farm and ordered a bunch for my family and have begun making my own as well. What's really helpful in this is that my youngest sister reads/feel/manipulates energies really well, so she is helping me figure out the energy of each essence in addition to the traditional description for each one, and I am hoping our middle sister can use her talent reading auras to give a color signature to each one, for color therapy. This is all very exciting and fun and really wonderful, and I feel as though I am on the 'right track' to the point that I am calm, happy, and still feel like I am careening toward some unknown and very happy point in my future.
Other than that, trying to figure out where we are going to live; the NEW new plan is to wait and see where Milt gets in to pharmacy school, and in the meantime keep trying to win a house somewhere, since as long as our names are on my MIL's mortgage we don't actually qualify to buy our own place (sigh) oh well, things happen for a reason! All right, back to being busy!

ready for the weekend

Today went relatively well; Milt's alarm didn't go off so instead of waking up at 5am to get to work at 7:30 he woke up at 7:40. oops.
Asher and I went to see his acupuncturist; she and I discussed the possibility that he may actually be sensitive to the electrical current and that is why he'll only sit through about half of the treatment. He is on a new supplement to help seal his gut, and she asked that I swap in almond milk for soy milk for a while. But we love tofu! Love it! Oh well, so goes the healing process.
My Dad stopped in for an hour (instead of the weekend, but hey, that's how he is) and otherwise it's been an uneventful day.
Otherwise I've been reading through Aliza Hausman's blog, I have 3 little GF oat chalah ready and we are just about set for Shabbat, our friend is on his way down for a visit, just need a shower and OOPS I forgot to change the bedding. Ok, gotta go, back after Havdalah!

1st Iyar

This morning was Asher's first online 'class' through Room613; after technical problems i was a fun, quick class and I think he enjoyed it. Hopefully it starts on time next week, so he doesn't get antsy and wander off again, with ensuing forced sitting, tantrum, and cookie bribe (I know, I know). Still! Fun little class. A few songs, a little activity, listening to little kids try to talk to each other over the internet. Fun times.

Torn between studying Japanese, being more immersed in Judaism, teaching the ids, keeping up with the housework, taking care of my health, and using the internet. I think which one to cut is a no-brainer, don't you? Ok, off for the day, my boys are growing up and I need to enjoy it.

Also, the clothes-washer smells bad. Not a good sign, I'm assuming.

Also, from now on when I can't think of a post title I'll just use the Hebrew date. easy-peasy, yah?

mid-April musings

The sun has come back again, thankfully, and the rain stopped just short of drowning all the seedlings Asher and I planted a few days ago. I have some more seeds to start, although my hand is being forced a bit as the rain manage to penetrate my seed-storage container and dissolve my packages, so I am going to have a few containers of mystery seedlings soon. The weather is gorgeous, cool, the maple tree is suddenly full of green leaves instead of the reddish feathers it has been sporting for a month now; the apple tree is full of blossoms and bees (hooray! I love bees!) and just a few blossoms remain on the quince tree. Days like these I understand why people move to California, and I am a little tempted to stay, but I know that it is not only unsustainable but undesirable, really, and so we continue to make plans to head north, to a place where we can hopefully establish ourselves and leave a homestead that Asher and Adin (and others? Maybe.) will still be able to call home in 50 years, if they choose.

I cleared out the van yesterday; filled an Ikea bag with stuff. I couldn't believe I had let it get that bad although the majority was baby carriers and sweaters.

Found a gold(?) necklace of my mother's, covered in greenish gunk, from when she found it in her purse on the way to the airport and deposited it in my cupholder. I'm cleaning it with a toothbrush and some baking soda; seems to be working. A peace offering, perhaps, because we went ahead and got another rabbit, a companion for Broderick. Sarah Ferris, a scared little princess, but so sweet. I know she'll be furious when she finds out, but maybe (haha!) she won't notice. Yet another reason to leave; that welcoming animals into our space is such a battle here. Plus I still want to get chickens. Not much point to that if we are moving soon, as I wouldn't want to transport them and it seems silly to get them just to give them away again.

I have a tentative plan, but we'll see. I don't mind waiting a few years to get the land, but I so want to plant trees NOW and begin NOW and I want the boys to grow up with this environment, but I know building it together can have it's own rewards as well.

Asher's vocabulary and verbal skills are exploding; I'm no longer worried about him remaining delayed in that area, and he is almost ready to potty train in earnest. Am I ready? Probably not. Adin likes to make smacking noises with us by sucking in his lower lip; unfortunately he is still very much biting. Not sure how to stop this.

The baking soda isn't working so well after all, and I need to get ready for my phone appointment with Asher's acupuncturist, so off I go. I always want to double that first 'c' in acupuncture; I wonder why?

Alright, it's the end of March. Time to see what I accomplished in my grand scheme to complete 31 things in 31 days. Let's see:

Read:

1. Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma. Loved it. Reading about Polyface Farm made me want to become a 'grass farmer'; until I remembered that I am a vegetarian, and raising a bunch of animals to not eat would quickly defeat the purpose. Also, I am paranoid about corn now. And I want to go scavenge some mushrooms.
2. Dr. Manifesto for a New Medicine. Also loved this one; gave me a lot of inspiration for things to do, health-wise, and it was ironic to read his ideas for healthcare reform just after the bill passed. I was thinking they should really just have applied that entire chapter, instead. Still, it helped me to become more clear in what I am looking for when it comes to healthcare providers, and what I am willing/not willing to put up with/accept. Good things.

Did:

3. Took Asher to see an acupuncturist. Very, very nice woman; she sat and listened to his whole history and how I just felt he wasn't as healthy as he is supposed to be, even though he is technically healthy, something just seems off. She was very understanding. :) Tried to do a scan, but he freaked out halfway through, so she went ahead and started treatments and began a regimen of supplements for him and the difference is HUGE. He LOOKS healthier to me, already, and Monday night he got something with gluten and the only way we knew was because he got the rash. No meltdowns, no crazy behaviour, nothing else, just the rash. ALSO, that rash is almost healed. These sores have never healed in less than a week, and here we are, 2 days later, and they are already fading. Our next appointment is Monday, and I am SO EXCITED. The only side effect we had was his waking up repeatedly screaming for a couple nights, but that's stopped too. So wonderful.
4. Signed Asher up for an online class with 2-5 year olds; we'll see how he likes it! Now I have to find/buy a webcam. Ugh.
5. Signed us up for a community seder at the synagogue in the next town. Doesn't seem like a big deal, but it required me finding one, getting in the RSVP before the deadline, and having the money available to send in. Huge.
6. Went to the seder! It was really, really fun. Asher at least had a blast, and we wound up chatting with a Moroccan woman who was fantastic. She seemed to like us too :)
7. Had a playdate, at the park, with another mom with 2 kids. Again, doesn't seem like a big deal, but for me, HUGE.
8. Cleaned for Pesach. Also huge. This may count for 5 items on my list, because that was a lot of cleaning. A lot. We have decided we want a tiny house instead.

Made:

9. Yellow curry for the aforementioned seder. I had the tofu separate, in order to keep it Ashkenazi-safe, and totally forgot to fry it beforehand so it was limp and tasteless, but the curry itself was good and now we are eating the leftovers over rice. Because we eat rice during Pesach. also, beans. and such. yum. Side note: I once had a Russian Jew insist to me that she was Sephardi. Because her family ate rice on Passover. I was like "ummmm....not gonna burst your bubble there, sweetie." I, and our (Mizrachi) instructor were really really confused. Okay, side note done!
10-18. 8 mesh produce bags. I used one of those white mesh curtain sets from IKEA; they are really great! No more plastic bags for our produce, no sir! Except that the mesh is polyester, so they are still technically plastic...hmmm. Second side note: I am amazed by how much IKEA stuff is plastic now. It's almost as if there offerings are dividing into super sheap and flimsy or a little above cheap but sturdy. Maybe?
19-25. Copied out patterns from Ottobre magazine. I scanned one sheet (which took a stinking long time, thanks to a poor dying printer/scanner) then went through each scanned image and copied out all of each color in that image, to be pieced together into the actual pattern pieces. It took a really long time, but less time, and more accurate, than hand-tracing, so there you go. Now I should really sew something with them.

Plus all the things I mentioned previously:

26. Asher's apron
27. The bunny sheet
28-29. Baby carrier + baby carrier pattern
30. Asher's journal
31. Chanukah bags
32. Repairing the chairs.

So, yay, 32! Although you could count those 8 produce bags as one item, but I won't. There were so many things I started out working on that I never finished; I would say the majority of completed items on this list were things not even thought of at the beginning. The massive hutch is still in progress, ugh, and is now in the family room, and somehow, despite measuring the space 5 TIMES, it seems the hutch is too big. I do not know how I did that. I'm not sure what to do about it either. It's a bit, well, enormous, unfortunately, and my Mom is NOT going to be happy. Of course, I'm not really happy with it, so there you go.
Okay, on to April! Maybe this month should be UFO month? :)

March Making update

Halfway through the month, time for an update on my "finishing project".

1. An apron for Asher; he is constantly in the kitchen with me, so I figured I should make him an apron that is more his size; bonus is, he wears it while he's eating too! (This is awesome because he WILL NOT wear a bib. Ever. He would rather starve, while screaming and throwing himself at the floor repeatedly, than wear a bib.)



2. Baby Carrier: love it! Cobbled together from several different patterns and ideas, so I also now have a good, solid


3. Baby Carrier pattern! I love it too. I've put together everything I like from other people's ideas, and made modifications that I really want, and it looks like a good one. I'm going to make up my first one for my friend who is having her 2nd baby next month (!!!) and seeing as her boys will be as far apart as my boys are, she is going to have a lot of use for a carrier like this.


4. Finished updating Asher's 1st year journal. That was emotional and wrenching and so, so sweet.

5-6. 2 Chanukah bags; I've had this fabric for years, and a couple years ago I actually decided what to make from it, but never got around to it. Now I have! I have a stack ready to go, just need to finish assembling the rest.

7. bunny blanket: I assembled a patchwork sheet to put in Broderick's pen; it covers and wraps under the plastic chair mat we got to protect the floor. So far both have been working pretty well; much better than the shower curtain he kept ripping up and shredding.



8. repaired two chairs; both were coming apart, so I squeezed on some wood glue and they are currently drying.

9. My bedroom is ready for Pesach. The reason it is ready for Pesach is because our power got shut off today and all I COULD do was clean. So the bedroom is clean. Next, the bathroom?

In progress are

Rabbit hutch: 50% done; I cut down all the wood, and we started assembling it, but since the stock we bought is narrower than I had planned for I have to make some new cuts. Ugh. My goal is to have this one DONE this week.

Adin's journal updating; this isn't as emotionally hard as Asher's, but it is harder, as I find it's been more difficult to actually remember specific events and times for him. curse of being the second child, I suppose.

Asher's 2nd year now needs to be recorded too. Eeeek.

Vests for my Dad; my Mom commissioned me to make these up for him, 2 cashmere, 2 gabardine. I'm pretty excited, since I get to use the leftover scraps to make vests for the boys. :)

spring quilt; I've had this quilt top ready to be sewn up for a few years now, just pinned together. I finally sewed it together and now I just need to finish making it big enough to cover the ripped side of a comforter. voila, 'new' comforter.

using up all the chametz; I'm halfway through that, although now I have a few trays full of cupcakes that I cannot eat, so Mil and Ann need to eat through them before they go stale. It's a hard job, I know, but someone has to do it.

cleaning for pesach; I've got the cookbooks and one cabinet done. One. Yeesh. I think I need to step it up in this area.

catching up on laundry: my normal routine is one load of diapers, one load of laundry every day. Between being sick and being lazy laundry built up to 12 loads that had to be washed. Now I need to put it all away, but I am also going to purge quite a bit; we do not NEED 12 loads worth of clothing. No sir.

copying patterns from Ottobre magazine. So far I'm halfway through a pair of pants. This work is somewhat tedious, at best, so I'm going to try (again) to use the computer for this. We'll see how that goes.

Other than that I have developed a Ganglian cyst on the underside of my right wrist; I'm assuming from handsawing all the red oak (should have bought poplar! augh! So much less expensive, too) for the bunny hutch. Ouch. However, I will persevere! yes! That's it for the update.

Carry on.

well hello, March

I have a few goals this month,
1. post up my backlog of posts now that I have a card reader and can
2. actually get my pictures off the memory card and onto a computer. Yay!
3. complete one project for every day of March. 31 projects? Absolutely doable, especially since I have at least that many projects in various stages of completion. Not all of them are crafty; for example, I am trying to 'catch up' on the boy's journals, actually writing the entries into the books rather than in various word files on the computer. Also, the baby's scrapbook only has congratulations cards in it at this point. Yeesh. E's 1st year album is awesome; his next one is still in the plastic wrap.
4. use up all of my chametz before Pesach; only one container of flour left! Woohoo! After that, I'm going to try to ban gluten from the house. We'll see how that goes, since C doesn't like the flavor of GF bread. hmm. I may just have to tell him to man up. and he may just go buy bread on his own instead and keep it at work...hey! problem solved! This is pretty good.

Speaking of C, today is his 26th birthday! I am taking him to see Alice in Wonderland tomorrow evening (yay!) aaaaaaaand.... I got him a bunny. So cute. however, I went looking for a small lop (preferably Holland) light-colored female. Instead I got a HUGE juvenile black male full lop. This bunny is going to be HUGE. We love him though. C kept his name, Broderick, and we added on Baruch, so B.B. for short. Which may be confusing since that's what E calls the baby: "beebee!!!!" We'll see. Ok! So, back to the cake making; I'm also making him Swedish meatballs (and veggie versions for myself, K and E).

Ok, this whole initial thing is getting annoying, so from now on we are doing middle names, and probably short versions of middle names at that. So tonight is Milt's 26th birthday, Ash calls Adin "beebee!!!" and Ann and I are enjoying veggie meatballs. You can call me Vicki. Got that? Awesome. Now I may or may not update other entries to reflect this change. We'll see. I do have 31 projects to finish (2 down, 2 almost done, and a whole pile more to go). I may wind up counting the cake as a finished project. ;)

Now, just because I can, here is Adin enjoying a mouthful of sweet potatoes. Yum!

mmmm Hanukah!

So we are finishing up the last of our presents: 3 kinds of dark fudge! yum! and frankly I don't care that most of the recipients will be opening them up on Christmas, nope, don't care, you know why? Because I made and gave them these gifts because I like them, and I want them to be happy! That's it! So what if happy for them is a week after happy for me? Right? No pictures of the candy because it's wrapped and I ate the rst and holding a baby while taking pictures of chocolate jsut means I don't havea hand free to stop E from grabbing said chocolate and shoving it into his mouth while he tears down the hallway, so yes. He's been a little wired. As have I. Yay!
We ate all our latkes. and fish tacos. and quesadillas. I never got around to making sufganiyot, because #1 we have run out of cooking oil and #2 if I don't stop eating sugar at some point, as I have been eating it every day since Thanksgiving, I WILL get diabetes, so yeah. I think we're done. There's oil in the yellow curry, I think that will be good enough. Yes!

Also, E needs to stop having access to edibles, as he decided to try drinking a bottle of Birch oil. Hi ER. That was awesome. But! He's fine! A Miracle, definitely. Happy Hanukah!

living slow?

I very much would like to live a slow year...heck, we almost moved into a bus in August! I still wish we could have made that work, but C is happier driving 2 hours round-trip to work than having a 15-minute commute but having to cross Hwy 17 any day. Oh well. Also, there's just So. Much. Awesome. Stuff. out there. What to do? I'm thinking a Slow Month. Well, a little over. Since we are going to PR on January 17th, I figure if we buy nothing from now until then that should count as a month, and then I'll see about February? Yes, that should do it.
What do I mean by slow month? Well, for right now it means buy nothing aside from groceries, and pay only our recurring bills (car payment, insurance, rent, student loan...wow, we have a lot of payments). I think I'll also cut back on grocery spending again; we get a little crazy in the grocery store occasionally, so that needs to be cut back. Also, we have credit card debt again, so I'll pay that off. February will be a fresh start, and I can reevaluate then. I'm just so inspired by this family: http://frenchtoastfrance.blogspot.com/ and I want to get to that someday soon. I think we can; I think we should. Let's see if we do?
In other news: Latkes are done! Now on to (gluten-free) sufganiyot! Yeah!

side note...

E does NOT like the traditional 'Happy Birthday' song. First he scowls, and then if you keep singing it he gets more and more upset until he buries his face in his arms. I think it's because it's a minor key? So I need to find some more cheerful birthday songs for next year.

poor baby

So I have a cold, and L now seems to as well, on top of cutting teeth, and has been MISERABLE for the past few days; crying a lot, barely sleeping, fussing around, not nursing well. It's been great. Finally tonight I could not take the combo of stuffy head, drippy nose and inconsolable baby anymore and... I stuck him in his swing. Rather rudely, at that. Then I went into the next room to stare at the computer, listen to him cry and feel sorry for myself.

He fell asleep instead.

I am a babywearer to the end, but if a little neglect means my kid can actually get some sleep? Then the guilt is worth it. Poor thing.

As a bonus, here's a shot of both boys being considerably happier a couple days ago. You wouldn't think from the rolls that that baby is a lousy nurser, but wow, worst nurser EVER. I write that with all the love in the world:

maybe next year

yeah, not going to be keeping up with nablopomo, way too much other stuff going on right now, including but not limited to making sure no one in my house is exposed to or exposes my kids to H1N1, which apparently is THE disease for the county right now. Yay! Kids are healthy, I'm healthy, Thanksgiving is coming up, life is good.
I just have to keep telling myself, even if no one is hearing me, life is good.

library

Thursdays the library in the next town up has a story hour for toddlers at 10am, so for the last month C has been taking E up there. E will sit for a few minutes in the room, and then leaves, which would be unfortunate except for there being a playground right next to the library where all the kids head after story hour. So this week L and I went with them, checked out some books and a video with my new library card and then played on the playground. At first is was just E, and then a little boy who apparently has autism and gets along with E showed up, and then a bunch of other kids. It was nice, and a good break from the insane behaviour E has been exhibiting lately. I don't get it! Mostly it's whenever C is around; probably because C is back at work now after 2 weeks home, so E is adjusting to that, but it sure makes life unpleasant with the random screaming fits. I'm really just writing this to keep up with the writing every day deal, otherwise I wouldn't have written at all, but there you go.
Oh! Cam's older sibling's grandmother got a call from someone claiming that his oldest brother, her grandson, was in prison. In Canada. and needed bail money. riiiiiight. Last month someone called my grandmother at 2am claiming to be a coyote who had her people and demanded money. She told him off because, excuse me? Our Mexican relatives don't cross illegally, thanks. Interesting scam though. That's it for today.

what happened

On Sunday night someone very close to me decided to overdose on pills rather than face a huge mess she had created over the course of a year. She is fine, and while I am somewhat numb to what happened due to my experience with other people's suicide attempts in the past it threw everyone else in the house upside down for a while. Now that we are recovering from the trauma of what she did that night they are working through the things that were exposed and figuring out where they stand with her now that they are hearing the truth.
The thing is, if she had just been honest all along, everything would have been avoided. The anger, the jealousy, the emotional devastation, and the attempt to run away from it with pills. Yet at the same time I don't think she has learned anything. I've said it often; she "doesn't have learning experiences." That's the truly sad part; that those of us who love her can do nothing but watch her 'get away with' more and more while self-destructing. What then?

peacekeeping

is very time-consuming. I think I'm done; we'll see if the drama is any less tomorrow. :(

day 1

Today was really interesting. And then DRAMA HIT EVERYBODY. The end.