07 March, 2011

even more direction

I have been in a bit of a tizzy since Wednesday night. Every Wednesday I go to a women's Torah study at the local Chabad; it's been a very nice time, a time for me to slow down and breathe midweek, interact, really think and listen carefully.
I've been working on just listening, as I have a tendency to dominate a conversation once I get going, and I think that connecting with and really getting to know other people through their own words and perspectives is something I should be doing, rather than just spouting off what I think/know. I have met some really wonderful ladies through this class, each week a slightly different grouping, depending on who can come. This past week one of the ladies was discussing her son's upcoming Bar Mitzvah, and their farm, and somehow (I have no idea; there goes my mouth again) I wound up saying flippantly that I dream of living on a communal farm, but that's sometime in the future. Now, I don't know why I said this; I think it was only tangentially
connected to the subject at hand (if at all), but in this case their was a reason.
See, she and her husband own a farm, a nice-sized one, and after my remark she turned to me in all serious and started “well, actually...”. They have the permits in hand to build just such a community, and have just been waiting for the right time to get started.

Now, I do believe in fate. I do believe in and try to have G-d guide me in my life. People kept asking me, why are you moving to Portland? I couldn't really answer except to say that I love Portland. I do, even though I hadn't been here in over 15 years, but I do very much love this area,and have felt drawn here since that brief visit. When we couldn't find a place in the Jewish area of Portland we wound up 'settling' on our current place, which is nice, walking distance to everything we need, etc. Milt wound up getting hired an hour away from here, and has been unable to find a new position anywhere closer. Here's the thing; by coming here we became involved in the local Chabad, and that is where I met this lovely woman. Milt's job, while far from here, in only 30 minutes (tops) from their farm. Everything is coming together, faster and faster and faster, more clearly each step we take, that it is hard for me to not get giddily excited despite the fact that hey, this might not happen.

We are currently in the position that this can happen, at least for us, and frankly if we can get it going right it WILL happen. I am thrilled. Beyond thrilled. I can't stop thinking about it. We are visiting the farm within the next 5 days, and we will go from there. Wow.


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