Stall

Wednesday night I began to feel ill. Really really ill. By the next morning it was clear I had food poisoning. Adin got hit too. While it wasn't too bad (he was able to keep down fluids by the afternoon) I haven't really nailed down the culprit yet and on top of that I feel like we've hit a wall with the SC Diet at the same time.

I know I am not doing it right, and I am woefully unprepared, but to be completely honest with myself it just doesn't feel right. When Asher got sick I knew what to do, in my gut, and going gluten free was easy. We went gluten free in one day, and have stuck with it for almost 4 years. This time it's just hard, and hard in a way that seems pointless, not 'working toward a goal and it will be worth it' hard. Maybe I'll decide further down the road to give it another shot, but right now is just not the time.

However, Adin is still sick, and I need to do something. So I am going back to my herbalism training and we are going back to a standard GF diet (still cutting out refined sugar, blech, and cutting back on the starches a little bit) with herbs to treat what is going on. I don't know why I have taken so long to come to this decision. I treated Asher's weak teeth with herbs; I have treated myself and other family members with herbs; I am trying to become a certified herbalist! So why did it take so long to just trust my own knowledge? Maybe because when it comes to my kids being sick in a way that I cannot figure out my fear just shuts down rational thought. Maybe I am worried that if herbs don't work then it means my training is pointless and it's all just mumbo-jumbo nonsense and I will look like a fool? Probably. There's definitely fear of failure, ridicule, and judgment coming to play here.

Well, the time to fear is over! I ordered the herbs I need to get started, and a list of additional to order in a month (Milt and I will be starting some too, at that point). I am making our GF challah tonight, we are going to celebrate Shabbat, and the herbs are in the mail. This feels good. A good end to a crazy week.

happily,
-nava