waiting

Still waiting. I am now at 42 weeks + 1 day. I vacillate between wanting this baby the hell out and being secure that it will come when it is ready. I haven't done much other than nap and obsess; all I really want to do is read blogs and eat, so my goal for the day is to get a little more cleaned up around here and get back to studying, which I haven't done in a few days. I did switch some desks around and freecycle the old one, so that's a bit more room around here, and I've claimed the former computer desk for my sewing, which is nice. I've put all my ribbons in an old cassette rack I've had for a while (the other was repurposed into a kitchen rack), and I also wound some bobbins. enthralling, I know! I do like the way the spools look near the end though. :)

lunar eclipse

Last night was a lunar eclipse, which I did not know but saw anyhow (hooray for insomnia!). I wondered why the moon was suddenly orange and then that sliver of intense brightness just kept growing, although at the time I just chalked it up to the cloud cover. I am very thankful I got to see it, although it would have been even COOLER if the baby had decided to come then. Can you imagine? Not just 'you were born on a full moon' but 'you were born on a lunar eclipse!'. Maybe this kiddo just doesn't want a big fuss. :) I found this image, which is very close to what I saw, online. I wish I had gone and grabbed my camera, but oh well.

Ooh a Date

Yesterday Cam took the day off (finally! He works 40 hours a week plus is in school over full time for summer classes) and he took me out to see Stardust and have lunch. Stardust was really, really good. It wasn't what I expected, and it took a while afterward to realise just how much I liked it, but the comic timing was perfect for relieving the romantic (or cheesy) tension. Michelle Pfeiffer was fantastic, and hilarious, and I think I really like her. My favorites, probably because they really were the source of the much-needed random comedic quips, were the brothers. So, so funny. Sienna Miller was pretty delightfully bratty, although isn't that the sort of character she always seems to play? Claire Danes was good, in the Claire Danes always acts in exactly the same way wort of thing, but it was very fitting for this role. Anyhoooo, excellent movie, I recommend it, and we may actually buy it. Although I'm not really down with folks sealing their love with sex. It was a little incongruous to me, given the time period and characters, but hey, two incidents in a feature film is pretty good for a Hollywood film. :)

Afterward we went to Thai Noodle House, which is tiny and very, very good. Cam's manager recommended it, and I am glad he did. We went midafternoon, so I don't think we got a good idea of the normal patron flow, but the owner/waiter was very, very nice, and sweet, and so very excited about my belly. He only got up the nerve to ask about it when we were leaving though. :) We had the deep-fried spring rolls with sweet and sour sauce, Pad Thai, and I had coconut ice cream. It was very, very good, although the egg was a little overwhelming for me (I'm a little weird when it comes to eggs generally, so no surprise there) and there was so much we wound up having to take most of it home, so we also had Pad Thai for dinner and Cam's having the remainder for lunch. Really good. I think I will try topping ice cream with peanuts and honey sometime soon; that was a really nice flavor combo. Alright, I'm out!

gorgeous

Everybody (who has seen them) knows my sisters are gorgeous. Now they can also know that our friend Bradley is one fantastic photographer. Go Bradley! I think I'll hire him to take pictures of le bebe. If it is ever born. Here are my 3 favorites (A. is wearing a wig in the first one, although she really is a brunette, and they both are in the second one. K. is naturally blonde, which makes people ask if the three of us are really related.)







Go see more!

Finally Did Something

Now that I've had an etsy shop for over a year I finally put some things in it; my happy hair clips. I wanted to put some linkable pictures here but Flickr has me very, very confused now. I can't find the tools that allowed me to post other photo sets before. hmmmmm. So I made my own version; it doesn't take you anywhere though. :)

oh bento my bento

Actually, Cam's bento. Usually I pack him the leftovers; if we don't have leftovers he gets sandwiches (delicious, filling, superb sandwiches!) and no cute little box. (He still gets the cute little bag though.) Anyhow, today's lunch is: leftover Lazy Spaghetti Carbonara (parmesan and 'bacon' are in the separate container, to avoid sogginess), carrot sticks, ranch dressing for dipping, and a peppermint patty. Delicious.



Lazy Spaghetti Carbonara

Make plain spaghetti. Drain.
Stir in 1 egg (if it is a large pot of spaghetti, maybe 2 eggs), evenly coating all the noodles.
Sprinkle in some herbs (parsley, oregano, garlic, whatever), salt and pepper to taste.
Top with parmesan/romano and bacon bits (I use the tofu bits; I am addicted to them and eat them plain.) and serve. Oh so tasty.

I like to make enough to have leftovers for a couple meals, so I add the bacon bits to the individual plates, otherwise they get soggy in the leftovers and are somewhat less scrumptious, especially after reheating. Sometimes I hold off on the cheese as well; if you like slightly melted parmesan on your reheated leftovers though be my guest, it is quite tasty.

Note to the WORLD

Things to not ask/say to pregnant women:

-"So, have you had the baby yet?" If you are calling with the intent of asking this question, hang up the phone. Just do it. Especially if it is less than 2 weeks past her due date. ESPECIALLY if you have been told you will get an email/phone call/both when the baby does arrive. You are not the only person asking this question. It is annoying. Don't. Do. It. Not even by email. DON'T.

-"Wow, you look like you are about to pop!" How am I supposed to respond to this? Thanks? Yes? Any day now? (My personal favorite, which I have used, is "What, you think I'm fat?")

-"You're probably so ready, aren't you?" Yes. Yes I am. Helping to remind me of the fact that I am still pregnant does not really brighten my day. Again, you are not the only person to ask this. Today.

-"Can I come to the birth?" Er...unless you have been solicited to show up, you are not wanted. It's nothing personal, it's just not everyone wants to be selling tickets to the big show. That's a lot of pressure. Do not put these women in the awkward situation of having to say no to you. Although with some of us, all bets are off, as you have just turned yourself into a handy target for all our unexplained and hormone-driven sarcastic rage.

-"Can I come visit?/Why don't you want to go hang out?" Well, sometimes, if you catch me at the right time, I would LOVE a visitor. The rest of the time, please, just respect the fact that this is called a nesting period for a reason. I don't feel up to or want to entertain you or listen to your drama. I love you, dearly, but there comes a point where emotionally I can't handle anymore craziness than what is already inside my head (and furiously kicking my ribcage) and adding you and your needs to it isn't something that is going to end well. trust me. Wait till after the baby is born. Stop with the guilt-tripping. Visit someone else, who is more in a state of mind to be nice. (and conscious. Guests = no nap for me. see? bad.)

-"OMG my so-and-so's birth/pregnancy/etc was so awful/scary/dangerous because..." Shut up. Seriously. This is not nice to do to someone who is pregnant. stop it.


- Anything that could be construed in any way as negative, i.e. guilt-inducing, questioning any decisions/ judgement calls whatsoever, even if it is a joke. If what is about to come out of your mouth is not laden with praise, rethink it. Otherwise, be prepared to suffer the consequences. In my case, those consequences are anger, followed by guilt, depression and sobbing. Usually for about 10 minutes straight. Plus we are out of ice cream, and nutella just isn't cutting it anymore.

Do know that I, and I'm assuming most pregnant women, actually understand that you ask these things because you love and care for us. Sorry. Rationality was kicked out a while ago to make room for a squirmy thing that is eating all our food and seriously confusing our hormones. Plus I really want a nap and a hot dog. and I've had an easy pregnancy. Those ladies who had morning sickness/diabetes/etc. deserve roses. Buy them some. Have them delivered. Don't call to make sure they got them and fish for a thank you. They loved them. They're just asleep right now.

D is for ...

dreams : plans, ambitions, aspirations, what-have-you. Just having these gives us direction, keeps depression from sinking in. It's the ones I've met who don't have any purpose, even one for the day, that are so unhappy with their lives. As for the other kind, well, mine are pretty odd. A few things I know about my dreams: First, I do dream in color, occasionally, because it contrasts with the rest of the dream which is usually not in color. My first recollection of this is a forest scene, replaying over and over with trees and a stream, and 3 dancing red lobsters floating in midair. They were in color. Second, I can read in my dreams, sometimes; again, there is a big contrast and frustration when I cannot read whatever it is in my dream versus when I can read. The stuff that I read though is usually not that interesting. The last time I 'read' something it was some sort of pancake for dieters. odd. Third, I dream about my birth. It's just a sensation of increasing and descending pressure, and all I 'see' is black and white until the end, when it all gets white and the pressure and discomfort ends. Exciting, I know. I also know I'm not the only one who remembers there birth, so it's not all that amazing. interesting though :).

dogs : I like them. We had a Great Dane when I was a baby, until it overwhelmed my mom to the point she gave him away to a nice couple she met. I plan to someday have a big dog myself, only I plan to have a big yard first. That way it won't be inside where it can eat my cushions + rug + screen door like Rodney did. Or chase cats through the house (that was the final straw. Especially as my mom tackled him to stop him and he just carried her through the house instead.)

decisions : I generally avoid them, unless I absolutely have to make them or there really is only one good one. If you give me 2+ equally good options though, I will stall as long as possible. Maybe I just like to keep my options open :)

dusting : I really like dusting. A lot. No, I was not a particularly neat child, and I'm not a particularly neat adult. I just like making things clean.



driving : I'm not really a fan, but I prefer being the driver when I am in a car. I also believe I have every right to be totally freaked out by your driving, and it would be great if you would stop getting all huffy about it and instead tried not tailgating at 70+ mph. I think your insurance may thank you also. everybody wins!

dolls : I have a strange relationship with dolls. I like them, but kind of as a commentary on people rather than to play with. I never played with dolls properly as a child either. I would either set them up nicely and never touch them or else use them as weapons/melt them/launch them off platforms/into ceiling fans/etc. Yet people kept buying me dolls. Didn't they see what I was doing to them? So strange. Oh well, I had fun.

C is for...

cats : I love cats. I am also wildly allergic to them. I am also wildly allergic to Corpus Christi, Texas, but what can you do? Anyhow; one of the times we lived in said city I 'adopted' a cat : hid it in my room, where my mom found it while vacuuming because she opened the closet door and it ran out and puked under my bed. Poor thing. I am proud to say that it had a litter box and good food, which I paid for myself, so I was a pretty good owner, even if it was a covert operation. Since living in California cats have adopted us, and my parents finally just gave up and let us name and care for them. We get pretty attached to our little strays now. My 'baby', Aishabella, I actually found as an abandoned 4-week-old. She died at about 1 1/2, we don't know why, but I suspect it's from whatever it was that caused her mother to abandon her and not the other 3 kittens. Either way, I loved that cat. She was nuts, couldn't see in the dark, was extremely clumsy, growled like a dog at strangers, would wait at the window until I came home, got stuck in trees and would get out by just throwing herself at the ground, and liked to catch and eat flies and rain. I miss her.

curls : I really like having curly hair. Of course I usually manage to butcher it, and the curls are only cute when I'm not going anywhere. Going into public makes my hair do really odd, mostly unattractive things unless I straighten or severely restrict its movements. Oh well. My dad has awesome hair; he had a blonde afro in his teens and early twenties; it was magnificent. Unfortunately he doesn't take care of it, otherwise all those tiny little curls would look so cool. I hope my kids get curls, even the boys. Is that mean of me? probably.

crafts : I love making things. I love watching other people make things. It's all about the...

creative process : which is just another way that we

communicate : which is what I am studying and one of the things I find incredibly fascinating. How we choose to convey information, why, how its interpreted, why, etc. etc. etc. I love this stuff.

conclusions : are my weakness in writing. I dislike weak conclusions, yet I am just so bad at writing them myself. I always feel like I'm wrapping things up into too neat a package, a sort of smug little 'ta-da', and I really don't like that. I think it may also be due to my obsession with patterns, as nothing is truly isolated, and to claim something is concluded is to completely ignore the larger framework and even the interior connections going on, in my view.

B is for

- Books : I love books. I have been reading since I was 2 1/2, and I MUST READ. I don't care what it is, if there is nothing worthwhile to read I will read pamphlets, badly-written novels, ingredients labels, whatever. When I was 6 the babysitter freaked out because she found me reading the encyclopedia (I got as far as volume E before my parents got home.) I had just run out of anything else to read in the house, so it was that or start reading the contents of the medicine cabinet, and books are a lot less noisy. Nowadays I can stockpile good things to read, which is a blessing as I really despise bad writing (even though I will read it. angrily). This may be why I actually enjoyed being an English tutor. It's definitely why I don't understand how anyone gets into college not being able to write a decent paragraph, much less an essay. How does this happen?

- Babies : I love babies. They are pretty awesome, all potential and curiosity and unabashed confusion. I think they're cute too, but it's their personalities that hook me.

- Beauty : I'm a highly visual person. This may be the easy-to-distract way my brain is wired, but I just love looking at things. Noses fascinate me. Pieces of people, in general, fascinate me. More than looking at the whole person, I'll find one or two details that make me just love the way that person looks, so to me everyone truly is beautiful, someway. I also love having beautiful things in my home, and I think my aversion to clutter is because I get overloaded by having so much to look at all at once. Too much to me is not beautiful anymore.

- Beer : I really really REALLY like beer. Maybe because my Dad gave it to me growing up for heartburn (it works!). I miss drinking beer. Soon, soon, I know. I have some friends in Sacramento who occasionally brew their own beer, and it is mighty good. I should go visit them sometime.

- Baking : I love baking. this is strange because my method of cooking is 'throw everything in a pot and cook on High'. I don't measure very carefully, I add and omit whatever I feel like, and the stuff that comes out is still, generally, not only edible but quite tasty. For baking though I am precise, and I love the feeling of the process. Perhaps it's because the actual 'cooking' portion I don't have to stand there and watch, so I can be more patient with the assembly portion.

-Blogs : I enjoy blogs; all sorts of blogs. I love learning about people, even if it's only the small parts that they are willing to share and not the entire person, because it still is a glimpse into what makes us people. I read far too many blogs though; I think I'm at over 100 (thank you to whichever blogger mentioned bloglines, it is awesome!).

-Birth : I think birth is amazing, and that being part of that process is incredible. I also think that women giving birth should be able to feel just how incredible and powerful and simple the whole thing is, and to help with that process would be the best job EVER. I am going to be a midwife someday, somehow, and since I decided this when I was 14 and still remain committed to the idea I think I'm on the right track. (I decided on my current major when I was that age also, and so far it's going very well.)

A is for...

As several other bloggers have started doing a daily 'alphabet' post I decided to give it a go. I need something to do, after all!

-Anticipation : this past week has been nothing but anticipation. It's hard to focus on anything besides the fact that this baby could be born any minute and why hasn't it yet?! I wouldn't call myself truly impatient, but waiting, just waiting, makes me tense.

-Anxiety : There are a lot of worries, a lot of 'what ifs', when it comes to having a baby, and the ones you don't think of yourself other people are more than happy to supply for you! Thankfully I have had the bornfree ladies to help dispel any fears, and to demonstrate facing and dealing with things when they do go wrong (or even just 'not as well as hoped').

-Arnica : I firmly believe that everyone would be a lot happier if they knew about Arnica, both gel and capsules. Ah, blessed relief!

-Appetite : Being able to (and needing to) eat more has been quite an experience. I love to cook normally, but when its either overcome the fatigue and make something or else have yet another bowl of cereal the creative aspect becomes a little more crucial. Here are the last bits of lemon-blueberry bars I made, with a side of sharp cheddar cheese. So tasty.

waiting

Not a whole lot to report. I spent a week cleaning the apartment, only to completely destroy it again in the course of two days. Granted, I am sorting all my fabric (which is now in the living room) and the guest bed is actually usable now, but it's a little disheartening. Basically I'm doing whatever I can to get this baby to HURRY UP ALREADY because I hate not being able to walk right. I know, I've been lucky that I had no problems whatsoever until last week, but still, it's annoying. My legs are freaking out, and taking me with them. Anyhoo, just so this isn't a totally text post, my one-and-only pregnancy picture! Taken at the 9-month-mark, so it's about as big as I'm going to get.